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Tell us a secret that no one else knows?

999 replies

GloomyWaters · 04/06/2021 00:23

Me...by the end of this year I will be divorced...DH has no idea!

OP posts:
TellMeMoreThanThis · 07/06/2021 00:32

@Randolfo

Thank you ☺

It was actually a lawyer who advised me to do it. I was so outraged by a. being attacked and robbed in my home and b. that the police did NOTHING, that I sought legal advice on forcing police action. And he said, "Look, the police are rubbish. Have you got anyone who can go round to this guy's house with a baseball bat?"

Harriedharriet · 07/06/2021 01:58

@NeverDropYourMoonCup

Here's a new secret.

I was invited to apply for a big promotion at work recently. But I liked the sound of the even bigger promotion that was also available at the same time even more, so I've applied for that as well. It's a fairly high status position in my little pond, too - way above my present lowly minion post where a small number of people speak to me like shit when they think they can get away with it. Way above their positions, as well.

The secret is that I already knew they were coming up long before it was public (or even restricted) knowledge and deliberately volunteered to take on some very technical stuff because I knew they can't afford to lose whoever knows how to do it; the particular skills in question are highly in demand elsewhere - so if I don't get what I want, I could walk into a job somewhere else pretty much immediately. In the long run, they could probably recruit, but it would cost them significantly more to do so, probably involve agency rates and some investment in IT at short notice/high cost and in the short-medium term, the consequences of not having anybody there would be a huge problem.

Either promotion appeals, I'd be happy with the lower one in all honesty, but lots more money? I'm all over that.

I don't think it's occurred to them that nice little me (I'm not nasty or unkind at all - but I'm certainly not all fluffy bunnies and rainbows on the inside) could find out all this stuff perfectly legally and deliberately plan to put myself in a position where it boils down to whether they want to screw themselves over or give me what I want.

Well, nice is good. But nice and on double the salary and some extra status is even better. And if I do get one of them, I'm going to enjoy that people who are so bloody rude to me not daring to try it ever again.

Well done you! I really hope you get it. Will you come back and tell us?
Giggorata · 07/06/2021 02:34

A friend of mine forged her lover's will. How do I know this? I knew the contents of the will and I'm 99% certain there had been no changes before he died.

Also, I lost my virginity to Dave, and it was fabulous.

groovergirl · 07/06/2021 03:17

Twenty years ago I would have shagged my colleague Dave, had he been available and willing. He is a blue-eyed beauty with a splendid nose, and we are good friends in our dotage.

In my divorce settlement I withheld info about two running-away funds, one of which was in DD's name. DD will keep the money in her name for her future use, but the other fund allowed me to buy H out of the house and give DD a stable home and access to a top school. No regrets.

sashh · 07/06/2021 04:24

@watingroom2

Police cautions are evil things, the police tell teenagers they will be wiped at 18 or that they are not a conviction.

Until very recently they stayed on your DBS for life and never became spent.

@Suki2 I'm not clear on the law at the moment but I know there have been moves to remove cautions precisely because of situations like yours.

You can also 'self declare' when you apply for positions and state that it was a silly teenage thing.

The police can add information to a DBS, it's normally things like, "This person has no convictions however several complaints have been made" but I don't see why you couldn't ask them to add a note saying they do not consider you likely to offend again.

Also do not be put off applying somewhere where you are 'required to have a DBS' because the requirement is that you have the certificate not that you have no convictions. As others have said on here they have appointed people with convictions.

I know a teacher with a conviction.

StarlightLady · 07/06/2021 06:15

Coming back to the lighthearted but true.

Outside of the coldest months but before what l would describe as the “bare leg season”, l still wear stockings and suspenders on a fairly regular basis; cooler than tights when you still need that little bit extra.

You need a quality belt though and not something designed for the bedroom.

PBHC · 07/06/2021 06:22

Can't stop lieing about my headache Blush

changedmyname1976 · 07/06/2021 06:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sashh · 07/06/2021 07:41

How could anyone scorn you or resent you having that financial support? You should have every penny and more.

People think you should only exist if you have a disability.

People get jealous of my blue badge and have told me so.

Bogeyes · 07/06/2021 08:44

@BiscoffAddict

My cousins DP came onto me at my DB’s wedding. I’ll never say anything though because she’s had such horrendous luck with men in the past and think’s she’s finally found ‘the one’, he was blind drunk so probably doesn’t remember it anyway.
He is probably already doing it....he will steal from the brothers and you included. He sounds like a total arse....
SunshineCake · 07/06/2021 09:10

@NeverDropYourMoonCup I really hope you get the bigger fancy pants promotion. Please come back and tell us.

Ballbagisnotmyname · 07/06/2021 09:39

My husband left me 3 yrs ago, I met an amazing guy whilst separated, my husband and I are trying again but I don’t actually love him - I’m still in love with the other guy

52andblue · 07/06/2021 10:10

@Poppy1968

I am unhappily married, I reconnected with an ex fiancé last year (he lived 100 miles away so we never got to see each other), we both hoped to move forward this year, sadly he died at the beginning of the year, we never told anybody.
Flowers @Poppy1968

I can relate to this Flowers

mumtoallbhoys · 07/06/2021 10:32

@TickTockBitches

Why won't you message her? She has a baby and engagement that doesn't mean she isn't a person?!

SunshineCake · 07/06/2021 10:57

@Ballbagisnotmyname

My husband left me 3 yrs ago, I met an amazing guy whilst separated, my husband and I are trying again but I don’t actually love him - I’m still in love with the other guy
Don't settle and don't waste your husband's time. Not fair.
Whyknotwhatknot · 07/06/2021 11:17

NC for this

One of my family is in an incestual relationship with their uncle-most of the family have gone nc with them they say theyre doing no harm to anyone in one way i understand but theres alot of resentment

My df went to prison when i was younger-i hated him for it nothing that phsyically harmed anyone but i was ashamed and never told anyone even my youngest dsis doesnt know

SchadenfreudePersonified · 07/06/2021 12:00

@allthevowels

That I absolutely detest 98% of my family. Not my household family but my aunts, uncles and especially my grandmother who is mean, nasty, selfish and cold and has raised children (with the exception of two) who are the same. No one would have a clue as I help each and every one of them on a daily basis. COVID has made me realise that they don’t care about me as a person they care about what I’ve not being doing for them. Out of 67 family members I probably rank 64th in value, yet, I do virtually everything. I hate them. With a passion.
Then dump the lot of them vowels

They will never respect you, but you will be able to properly respect yourself - and you'll have some free time to enjoy yourself, instead of running around after everyone else.

Seriously - take care of yourself. you are worth so much more. Flowers

Ballbagisnotmyname · 07/06/2021 13:15

@SunshineCake thanks for the judgment 😂 he left after having an emotional affair and then blaming me, I did what was best for my family, we don’t live together as he’s made no effort but benefits from regular sex. I have no contact with the man I love as it would never work long term for us, fwiw I was single when I met him!

SleepingStandingUp · 07/06/2021 13:26

[quote Ballbagisnotmyname]@SunshineCake thanks for the judgment 😂 he left after having an emotional affair and then blaming me, I did what was best for my family, we don’t live together as he’s made no effort but benefits from regular sex. I have no contact with the man I love as it would never work long term for us, fwiw I was single when I met him![/quote]
Why on earth are you having sex with a guy who isn't interested in making an effort to repair the damage he caused with his affair? You sound like your servicing his penis as a favour to him

CHISistoast · 07/06/2021 13:34

@ildrja

I am teetering on the edge of a complete mental breakdown. Mental health absolutely down the toilet. Lonely. There's absolutely no one who cares about me at all. I think I'm going to the GP about it next week but it's so hard as I will then have to tell soemone.
I have been feeling like this but think it may be perimenopause and am looking into that. There have been various things which have happened to make me feel desperate. Anyway Ildrja, not about me. I hope you get some support and good that you are talking to the doctor.
Ballbagisnotmyname · 07/06/2021 13:45

@SleepingStandingUp why do I do it? If I’m brutally honest it’s because it suits me right now, I’ve become emotionally detached from it. I have no desire to start dating or sleeping with strangers. Ultimately I’m only screwing myself up as no one knows how I really feel and I can deal with that!

Hawkins001 · 07/06/2021 13:55

@Whyknotwhatknot

NC for this

One of my family is in an incestual relationship with their uncle-most of the family have gone nc with them they say theyre doing no harm to anyone in one way i understand but theres alot of resentment

My df went to prison when i was younger-i hated him for it nothing that phsyically harmed anyone but i was ashamed and never told anyone even my youngest dsis doesnt know

What's the relationship between them e.g. Step siblings , nephew ect
SunshineCake · 07/06/2021 14:07

[quote Ballbagisnotmyname]@SunshineCake thanks for the judgment 😂 he left after having an emotional affair and then blaming me, I did what was best for my family, we don’t live together as he’s made no effort but benefits from regular sex. I have no contact with the man I love as it would never work long term for us, fwiw I was single when I met him![/quote]
I wasn't judging you but now I've read your latest post I understand you even less. What are you doing? Confused.

Ballbagisnotmyname · 07/06/2021 14:21

@SunshineCake honestly I have no idea what I’m doing and ask myself the same question daily! I’ve got myself into something that I can’t find a way out of right now. It’s not until I read my post back to myself that I really realised how screwed up it is! I’ve not told anyone how I really feel but I’m become so detached it feels like it’s someone else.

SleepingStandingUp · 07/06/2021 14:25

Maybe screen shot this convo Ballbag and just keep it somewhere. You can't get out of it now but it doesn't mean you shouldn't be working out how to do so in the Near future

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