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Tell us a secret that no one else knows?

999 replies

GloomyWaters · 04/06/2021 00:23

Me...by the end of this year I will be divorced...DH has no idea!

OP posts:
Suki2 · 06/06/2021 17:21

[quote TheWaif]@Suki2

I've always said no because I was told from the start it would come off when I was 18. I've never considered it lying, it happened when I was a kid. Nothing to do with my adult life at all.[/quote]
Thanks for the info; I think I'll maybe try saying no cautions and hope that it isn't revealed. It shouldn't have anything to do with your adult life of course.

Gerdticker · 06/06/2021 17:25

@robin3rdwheel

I have a very small penis. I have been laughed at many times. I have been suicidal as a result.

Please think before you take the piss out of men like me. You have no idea of the pain. The appalling, wretched pain.

I'm so sorry to hear you find this so tough. I think Women who have larger labia are similarly made to feel weird and inadequate. It's total bullshit. Thankfully the body positivity movement is making great progress for women. I hope they hurry up and do the same for men soon.

I'm sure you've heard this before, but honestly, MILLIONS of men around the world have small penises. It's a variation of normal, just like the large labia. I hope you are satisfied sexually, and sure as hell you can satisfy a woman: most of the nerve endings are near the front of the vagina, and large penises simply go past them! I hope you are also very educated on giving sexual pleasure in all the many ways (if not, get reading!) - that is FAR more important that a big-penised shagger who arrogantly thinks his member is all that's needed! It is NOT that simple!

You and your marvellous penis are SO valued. I hope you find the awesome sexual partner who can enjoy it with you :)

Cowbells · 06/06/2021 17:28

@robin3rdwheel

I have a very small penis. I have been laughed at many times. I have been suicidal as a result.

Please think before you take the piss out of men like me. You have no idea of the pain. The appalling, wretched pain.

Laughed at? Those women are hateful. You deserve better women in your life.
NeverDropYourMoonCup · 06/06/2021 17:30

[quote BetterThanKleenex]@Saranade4 She was dead when I found out so no, I didn't report her to the police? Most of the children died in hospital so there would be a record of it and it's unlikely she would be murdering her own children in a hospital. There were 3 or 4 children who died from what I think could be SIDS which at the time, where they lived and considering their siblings died, seems to not be suspicious. Pretty sure she wasn't a serial killer, but thanks![/quote]
My grandmother lost a large number of babies. One was post mortemed in 1944 because it was investigated as a suspected killing with all the suspicion that entailed.

Congenital malformation of the diaphragm. He suffocated. Interestingly, despite all the scans and surgery done now, it still carries an up to 62% mortality in infants whilst it is possible for it to go undetected until adulthood in less severe cases.

Odds are that some of her other babies died of the same genetic issue - he was just the one that survived the longest. Except for my mother, who just had heart issues, albeit not life threatening ones.

Some life threatening conditions are always passed on to babies because they're dominant. Some aren't but the parents are unlucky (so very, very unlucky). Some don't show when there isn't the medical care of 2020 available because it's 80-odd years ago that we're talking about.

Then there's also infections - B Strep still kills babies. Antibiotics and antibacterial medications haven't been around that long in the great scheme of things. TB, measles, chickenpox, influenza, medication prescribed to the mother, working with hazardous chemicals, PKU, spina bifida (there's an occult version, which means the skin is closed over - one of my brothers was diagnosed with that aged 20 after he broke his leg), pollution both in the house and in the air from coal fires - so many things that could and did lead to multiple losses.

Randolfo · 06/06/2021 17:31

@TellMeMoreThanThis
Good for you!

@PortugirlTES
You didn’t hurt anyone but you are hurting yourself. What would you say to someone who told you this. Be kind to you.

This is the first thread I’ve read all the way through!

Mamanyt · 06/06/2021 17:39

[quote Pals812]@Mamanyt, hope you're feeling better and recovering well. Flowers[/quote]
Thank you. A bit better most days, a tiny bit worse others, but I'm told that is very normal, and that I'm doing well, indeed!

SleepingStandingUp · 06/06/2021 17:43

You really don't think 18 child deaths are suspicious?
Really? 18?
Really?

Kleenex doesn't mention her Grans age @saranade4 but no, in the 50s or possibly earlier, it's tragic but not unreasonable. She may have had multiple premature babies if she had a weak cervix which would account for her babies that didn't survive birth. She and the father may have both had one copy of a genetic condition that was passed onto the babies.

Even if not, why the actual duck would you suggest to someone who clearly states their Nan had raised them most of their life and had died that she was probably a mass murderer who killed all the babies except her parent??

SleepingStandingUp · 06/06/2021 17:46

Congenital malformation of the diaphragm. He suffocated. Interestingly, despite all the scans and surgery done now, it still carries an up to 62% mortality in infants whilst it is possible for it to go undetected until adulthood in less severe cases. DS was born with congenital diaphragmatic hernia, undiagnosed despite lots of scans I'm late pregnancy but Def 29uld have been fatal to him without very modern medicine

EmmaGrundyForPM · 06/06/2021 17:50

@FVFrog

In 8 years my spousal maintenance will stop and my income will fall off a cliff. I will be 61. I have no idea what I will do. I am completely burying my head in the sand about it. I have a vague plan that if I still feel the same way I do about life in general now I will save up a regular prescription medicine I have and just take my own life. I have no excitement or joy about the future and just live day to day. You would never guess this if you knew me, I put on a very good front.
Hi @FVFrog

Don't despair. You're younger than me so your retirement age is presumably 67? That's 14 years away. Lots of time to build up your earnings and savings. Have a think about how you can lower your outgoings. Can you downsize?

leprintemps · 06/06/2021 17:53

@MargosKaftan "I'm sorry I offended you"
That's really the worst type of non apology isn't it? Don't comment on other people's situations that you don't have a full understanding of. In fact, just don't comment any more full stop. I've already told you I find your comments offensive, and I find your faux apology even more offensive.

partyatthepalace · 06/06/2021 18:10

@Suki2 As far as I know under 18 cautions are wiped from the record when you are an adult. Whether they are really ‘wiped’ these days I don’t know, but I don’t think they’d show up on an enhanced check because they are only for minor stuff, and I can’t see it would be of any relevance to anything - you were a kid who did something daft.

So personally I would tick the no box and if I did ever come up you can say you believed it was wiped. I don’t think it will and it’s so minor no one would care.

If you are really worried you could check with citizens advice.

BetterThanKleenex · 06/06/2021 18:17

@NeverDropYourMoonCup I'm so sorry for your family's losses. Thank you for that information, I didn't know spina bifida could be discovered so late. It's interesting how far medicine and healthcare has advanced in some ways, but stayed the same in others. And even if your grandmother's baby was born now, would they have detected the malformation? Thank you for your reply- I hope to find some more records that could give me answers.

BetterThanKleenex · 06/06/2021 18:21

Thank you, @SleepingStandingUp. You'd think I'd open with 'My Grandmother was a mass murderer' if it was true!

Rubbishatchoosingusernames · 06/06/2021 18:31

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headlock · 06/06/2021 18:41

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icebearforpresident · 06/06/2021 18:55

My mum died just before Xmas and while clearing out her house I found letters between her and a married man she had an affair with, my dad died almost 20 ago and the affair was with someone she went to school with. I knew about the affair and she knew I wasn’t happy about it but I never really knew the circumstances of it ending, which it did about ten years ago.

The bastard ghosted her. Changed his email, changed his number (it was long distance) and pretended she had made it into more than it was, which she hadn’t because there were pages and pages of letters from him to her. He strung her along for his own kicks when she was vulnerable and tossed her away when he was done with her.

he’s still married to the same woman and it took all of 30 seconds to find him and the wife on social media. There’s a good chance he doesn’t know she’s dead and I dream about contacting him to tell him she’s dead and died broken hearted because of him and of sending the wife the letters, I don’t know why really but I kept a couple. No one knows they exist and no one knows I have them. The only thing stopping me is that the single woman involved in an affair always comes out worse than the married man.

GAL8 · 06/06/2021 19:04

@Dinosaurmermaid

I’m so unhappy that every night I go to bed hoping I won’t wake up in the morning. If you met me out and about you’d think I was fine, friendly, chatty, open. I’m not any of those things, I’m just really really really good at pretending. Dh is excitedly booking holidays and going on to the children about them and I don’t want to do any of it. The most I want to do is get up and dressed and stay in my house. I’m too tired to want to do anymore. I’m not happy with DH. I’m not happy in my job. Most of my friendships have drifted since COVID-19. I really don’t see the point in much anymore and can’t remember the last time I enjoyed anything or didn’t feel anxious. This is all very self pitying, as I said - no one else would know, I don’t put it onto people IRL and there’s no solution and I know it’s deathly boring. Everyone is fed up at the moment anyway.
So bloody cliche but you're not alone. Covid has played a big part in fucking with us all & yours certainly are not the only friendships that have become strained & distant. It's so easy to say but please get help. In October last year, following a traumatic event 18 months previously which resulted in me being diagnosed with PTSD, I just broke one day on the phone to my boss. He was shocked. I am 'the funny one' at work... he said he wouldn't ever have known. Seems to be a common theme. I rang my GP after. By the end of the day I was given antidepressants. I never wanted to 'go down that route' with medication but it helped me, SOOO much. They just take the edge off. You're still you. I feel when we hit rock bottom it is up to us to get up but sometimes we feel so bloody helpless we don't even feel we can do that. For me, that's where the tablets helped. Can you talk to your DH too? We only get one life & you deserve to be the happiest you can be. Everyone has bad days, I'm not saying it'll be all shits & gigs but it sounds like you have an awful lot of people around you who love & need you. Have you got anyone to talk to? I'm in the SW & if by the small chance you are too, I'm always around for a chat (& a pasty, gotta have a pasty) ❤️ @Dinosaurmermaid
SchadenfreudePersonified · 06/06/2021 19:09

@speakout

I placed first at the parent's egg and spoon race at my kids primary school sports day race. I won a plastic bookmark.

I had my thumb on the egg.

That bookmark will be CURSED!

It will never retain your place and you will have to read every paragraph three times and still not know what it's about!

Serves you right!

speakout · 06/06/2021 19:19

*SchadenfreudePersonified

That bookmark will be CURSED!

It will never retain your place and you will have to read every paragraph three times and still not know what it's about!

Serves you right!*

No bad luck so far- and that was 15 years ago. I still have the bookmark, and secretly pleased with my devious ways.

BadMom82 · 06/06/2021 19:22

I played fast and loose with my contraception before we were married and after DS was born even though I knew DH wasn't ready to try again. He doesn't want any more babies after the two we have but I still have leftover Clomid and occasionally I consider using it and not telling him. He isn't the sort to leave me because of an unplanned accidental pregnancy

SchadenfreudePersonified · 06/06/2021 19:33

@speakout

*SchadenfreudePersonified

That bookmark will be CURSED!

It will never retain your place and you will have to read every paragraph three times and still not know what it's about!

Serves you right!*

No bad luck so far- and that was 15 years ago. I still have the bookmark, and secretly pleased with my devious ways.

Just wait! It's lulling you into a false sense of security.

Cheats never prosper. Grin

Nicolastuffedone · 06/06/2021 19:37

@Worrywart1983

God these are boring. Not that I have anything else more exciting to say.
Did you miss the incest one? 😬
calamityjam · 06/06/2021 19:42

I'm leaving the family business because my sister is a vile narcissist. I'm going to use my hard earned as a single mum of 4 and carer of 2 adults, degree to be a probation officer if I get accepted for the training. She's going to throw a fucking fit.

StroppyGiraffe · 06/06/2021 19:44

@ImprobablePuffin

I get over 2k a month in UC and DLA because I have disabled children and cannot work due to caring for them. I don't tell anyone because I can't stand the scorn.
That’s what benefits are there for. I definitely don’t think anyone raising disabled children should be doing so with the additional burden of poverty.
speakout · 06/06/2021 19:54

*SchadenfreudePersonified
Just wait! It's lulling you into a false sense of security.

Cheats never prosper. *

Clearly untrue.
Cheats often prosper. Look at politicians and business leaders all over the world. My thumb on the egg is small fry.

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