Small things that are big tells

[SisterAgatha]

Just for fun, what are the little things you notice about people that actually tell you quite a lot about their nature.

I noticed last week that whenever we go for dinner with my SIL she always assumes the first meal that comes out is hers. Even if it’s very obviously not. And if you order the same thing, she practically snatches the one that is served first. Lots of eye balling peoples dinner to check no one has got anything she ordered. I can definitely extend this behaviour in to other areas of her life too.

Anyone else spot these little things?

Also, if a bloke has never had a serious/long term relationship, I will put money on that he’s crap in bed 🥲

People who when they're talking to you are always looking over your shoulder to see if someone more important is there. Usually call themselves good listeners too. One of my bosses is renowned for it (calls herself an empath too) - she will literally break off mid sentence to go brown nose.

One with small children I've noticed recently - when playing in a group there's always one who has to play 'the best' person, and I'm they always have a friend who has to play the downtrodden person. For example "Ill be the King and you can be my slave". Every time. And kicks off of they don't get their way.

I noticed it with 9yo DD this week - she has an iPad and messages me when she's at her dad's. Her and her feral cousin (who's been the type of child above since she was tiny) were making stupid 'fail' TikTok videos. In every one of them, cousin was the aggressor and DD was the one getting 'accidentally' punched/pushed over/hit by a door etc. DD sent me them because, being 9 and immature as hell (and someone who looks up to her older cousin) she thought they were hysterical. I thought less so and ended up calling exH asking him to make sure the TikTok videos weren't published and that he needs to tell them to stop and DD will get hurt - that's something I NEVER do. I avoid contact with him like the plague. But I feel like her cousin is just one of 'those' children and is taking advantage of DD's stupidity naivety

My MIL considers herself 'very flexible' / 'easy-going' / 'laid back'. This is actually code for 'do not even consider doing anything I didn't expressly give you permission to do'. This extends to phoning at the wrong time, dropping in unannounced, or giving birthday presents that were not on the official list. I now don't trust anyone who describes themselves that way, it's doublethink.

@purrswhileheeats

Bad listeners, red flag for sure. They also always seem to be the 'victims' in life 🤔

Ah, yes. Completely agree! Also those who claim to be great listeners, terribly empathetic, always thinking of others...Seem to spend a lot of time talking about how great they are at all this, only to prove the opposite!

Generally I've found that if a person continually describes themself a certain way to you it's because they're trying to convince themselves as well you of it, in the face of endless evidence to the contrary.

I tell it as it is - rude as fuck, misinformed, and completely incapable of being on the receiving end of any home truths.

The competitive invalids - you’ve have the flu, so have they but they ‘had it really badly’. I had ovarian cancer, am fine now, ex colleague told me through dramatic tears (and wider work audience) she knew what I had gone through having had to go for a routine cervical smear test herself.

I’m not being racist - yes you are which is why you’ve had to preface your upcoming horrendously racist comment with this assertion.

Taking pictures of themselves donating to food banks/homeless people/any charity.

Please dear God tell me that people don’t actually do that!

A person who makes a big deal out of giving to charity, any charity. BAD person. Only doing it to be noticed.

There is a certain type of person from the #BeKind meme posters who also share posts about teaching your children about including children with disabilities in play, sitting with the lonely child at lunch etc, who fail to see that their own children are the worst behaved, excluder of others types. Not everyone is like this, but there is a group of people I know who do this.

My MIL is obsessed with her kids and by extension, grandchildren. She tries to put on a show of extending this to me and her son in law but I'd always known she'd rather just see her blood family on their own.
I realised I was right when we met some acquaintances of hers on a walk with my new baby. Introductions to my husband and baby were excitedly made while I stood like a lemon, apparently non existent. She didn't even realise she'd done it. She also always refers to just him a lot i.e, 'oh I'm at John's for the weekend' Not John and SF49er, just John. To someone we all know very well. Only small things but telling when they add up.
She is also a terrible monologuer and a 'it's mine' if you've ordered the same dish in a restaurant and one comes out first.

Anyone who is competitive with everything is a very selfish person,they wont be happy for you in any of your milestones in life, they will always watch your every move and try to do one up on you, also cant be trusted, i avoid these people like the plague, could never be mates with such a person, very toxic one sided relationship.

Someone who is unpunctual with meet up times, will turn out to be flaky with everything else as well. Sounds obvious, but often they hide that second part well. They get away with ‘being a bit late’ as though it’s somehow cute, or endearing, or underlines how much busier they are than you that day. The other flakiness is deeper, and you’ll end up at the pointy end of it sooner or later.

Same applies to ditherers. Anyone who deliberates over which lipstick to wear for over 5 mins, is the person who’ll be on the phone to you for days over relationship problems or car purchases. There’s never one without the other. Hardwired!

People who post on FB about their wonderful D.C. are rubbish parents.

People who go on about how fat they are, when I’m obviously fatter. Are they fishing for compliments?

Or how badly they’ve done in an exam or assessment when they’ve probably done really well as usual.

Irritatingly pessimistic all the bloody time.

Women who claim they dont get on with other women "cos they are jealous of me"

People who take selfies in places like outside Anne Frank’s house, at Belsen, or even in front of paintings in art galleries.

Shallow, vacuous, disrespectful and morally bankrupt.

@Goawaymuppet

A woman in my NCT group said she preferred being friends with men rather than women. I found it suspicious - and was proved right. She was horrible.

Why do some women need to vocalize this? I’ve known quite a few women who say that they prefer men and don’t really have women friends. They say that to me, a woman! Who could have potentially been their friend. I think it’s basically saying ‘Men love me, I only like ‘friends’ who adore me and give me loads of attention’...

Anyone who answers a question they haven’t been asked, apropos of nothing, is probably lying. Here are three real-life examples:

“I’m not drunk.”
“I’m a good manager.”
“It wasn’t me who started the fire.”

Anyone who posts too many memes, especially if they are passive aggressive e.g. ‘The people who don’t care don’t matter, the people that matter, care...’ (they are having a pop at someone)

Anyone who tries not to go equals on a restaurant bill.

People who leave you feeling confused about what they think of you = not worth it.

Someone who says ‘they have a right... ‘ or ‘I am entitled to my opinion’ = argumentative and angry person.

@Cattenberg yes to the answering a question that hasn’t been asked. My Ex, when I first met him, told me that he was a ‘good person, anyone will tell you that’. I remember thinking it was odd, but he seemed such a good person. And everyone did think that. Why say it?

Of course, turned out he wasn’t a good person!

@Susannahmoody

If a bloke has no sense of rhythm and is generally uncoordinated you can guarantee they're going to be crap in bed.

^

God. Yes.

Totally random connection to this but if a guy refuses to eat meat off the bone I. E a lovely fatty pork chop, you can guarantee he'll be shit in bed. A bloke knawing a bone like an excited dog? Great oral

Your post has given me my first real laugh for absolutely months! Thank you!

Anyone who posts too many memes, especially if they are passive aggressive e.g. ‘The people who don’t care don’t matter, the people that matter, care...’ (they are having a pop at someone)

I have a friend who does this. She frequently posts about how she’s no longer going to waste her energy on horrible people because they’re not worth it. It took me ages to realise that she wasn’t just venting, she wanted the “horrible people” to see these posts. I’m sure that one of them is her step-sister, who she’s currently NC with.

It would be more convincing if she didn’t keep reminding people that she’s not going to give them another thought.

Parents who say "I just want what's best for you" - what they really mean is that you need to do what they want or else.

Will likely get flamed for this...

Smokers - a bit fucked up / tend not to take responsibility. Never yet met a smoker who doesn't have problems getting their shit together in at least one area of life

“I ain’t gonna lie to you, right…”

Why on Earth would they say that?