Small things that are big tells

[SisterAgatha]

Just for fun, what are the little things you notice about people that actually tell you quite a lot about their nature.

I noticed last week that whenever we go for dinner with my SIL she always assumes the first meal that comes out is hers. Even if it’s very obviously not. And if you order the same thing, she practically snatches the one that is served first. Lots of eye balling peoples dinner to check no one has got anything she ordered. I can definitely extend this behaviour in to other areas of her life too.

Anyone else spot these little things?

I don't have a dog but honestly do believe that dogs can sense good people. Best test of character? Introduce them to your dog

This to me is nonsense. My vile, alcoholic, bullying stepfather was adored by his dog. Dogs aren't very bright - or very good judges of character. They will abase themselves and fawn over the biggest, most aggressive person in the room - like many people, actually. I think cats are far more discerning.

I totally agree about gossips. One priceless moment with an ex-friend was when she gleefully started gossiping then stumbled, realising the story she had been telling to everyone was about my family! I just stayed silent and let her dig her hole.

Not a small tell but somebody I know has given me the cold shoulder for over a yeat because I corrected her when she was misquoting me. I had thought she wwas a really confident person.

I’m intrigued by the sandwich making test.

Just in to a new relationship and looking for pointers!

@DansMaPoche

Someone once said to me 'if you want to see a person's character watch them make a sandwich.'

It's SO true.

I dont understand this! I make a sandwich based on what i have. Different every time. I toast it if bread coukd be fresher, i don't if the bread is fresh.

Anyone who tries not to go equals on a restaurant bill.

This has come up a couple of times.

I'll counter it with: Anyone who has the starter and the dessert as well as the most expensive main, and extras, and a bottle of wine, who then says that the bill should be split equally with people who have spent way less.

I find a man's driving style directly correlates to his love making style! Racy, rude to other drivers, cutting it fine at red lights - selfish pounding or something similar. Over cautious, hesitant unaware/hyper aware of other road users and you'll have to take the lead, unsatisfying. But sure handling of the gear stick, confident but not aggressive, good judge of space and distance... Woohoo

People could save themselves a lot of time if they go for a drive first. [Grin]

@Everyday21

When a woman has no female friends and says "I just get on with men better, there's no bitching or gossiping...." nah, sorry but 90% that woman is the problem. Plus the men I know are horrendous gossips

Absolutely this. I make no effort with women like this. The ones I know are the bitchy ones who constantly misconstrue what other women say, spoiling for a fight.

Inability to take a bit of feedback is a big tell. I dont go round giving feedback willy nilly but if you cannot even tell somebody that their behaviour is hurting you without them martyring up, getting defensive, angry.... then BEWARE

@HeadNorth, I agree, dogs are no real judge of character. My puppy will fawn over anybody!
Not liking dogs just means a person doesn’t like dogs.

constance ah, but do you line up the ingredients or throw it together. Do you tidy up afterwards or leave a mess. Do you dog into the buyer or carefully level it as you go... You know that sort of thing.

ByebyeMissAmericanPie definitely check out the driving tell I posted a moment ago. It's a dead cert. 😎

“I suppose I’m just too honest!”

Guaranteed to be a twat with no respect for other people’s boundaries and passive aggressively spiteful.

Do you dog into the buyer or ...

What does this mean pls? Intrigued about this sandwich test too.

Agree, women who purposefully have no female friends, lot of internalised misogyny there. Couldnt even try there'd be no point. They dont want your attempts to be friendly. They want you to prove them right

‘I always speak my mind!’
Rude and judgemental PITA - an aunt of mine in particular.

And double it if they add that they ‘pride themselves’ on always speaking their mind.

“I don’t suffer fools gladly”

Big red flag. Unduly pleased with themselves, intolerant and rude. Their self-image rests on the belief they’re intellectually superior to everyone else.

People who are absurdly literal. Recent MN example - there's a thread about over-processed food and somebody suggested we should only eat food our grandmothers recognised, only to have a poster say, "But my grandmother lived in the Hebrides, so that would mean I can't eat fruit'.

I think people like this think they're being clever. They are wrong.

The sandwich test will show you whether someone is methodical, perfectionist, neat and tidy, sloppy and relaxed, controlling and uptight, generous and bountiful or mean and penny pinching and a bit of a puritan. Whether they get real joy from food or whether they are an 'eat to live' person. Whether they are a fussy and limited eater or a person who eats everything. Whether they are obsessed with controlling calories and portion control, (like the 'you have butter OR mayo, not both' type people) or whether they are joyfully excessive. Whether they care about the quality of the food they eat or whether it's all about quantity. Whether they can do delayed gratification as well - that tells you an enormous amount about a person.

Are they the sort of person who might like the knife and their fingers knowing they are feeding people other than themselves? Do they stick the buttery knife in the jam/mustard, or get a clean one?

Even watching whether they clear up immediately after themselves, methodically wrapping and repacking all the ingredients, washing the knife and wiping the counter, or whether thy leave open packets and crumbs strewn everywhere for hours, eventually slinging an open packet of ham back in the fridge without rewrapping it will tell you a lot about them.

lick the knife not like the knife!

Another one, if you tell your friend something just know you are no doubt also telling their partner

Possibly but it won't matter because he's unlikely to be listening!

Ha ha some truth in that.

@IEat

People who say I just tell it how it is... mouthy gob shites who are extremely rude Same as those who shout instead of talking at a normal volume

100% the first bit, always the kind of people for whom “guilty of nothing and offended by everything” is the perfect fit

@C0nstance

Inability to take a bit of feedback is a big tell. I dont go round giving feedback willy nilly but if you cannot even tell somebody that their behaviour is hurting you without them martyring up, getting defensive, angry.... then BEWARE

Yes – or laughing that you’re being oversensitive, etc.

@Susannahmoody

I don't have a dog but honestly do believe that dogs can sense good people. Best test of character? Introduce them to your dog

Utter bullshit

And if the dog mauls you, you didn't pass the test? Good to know.