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Original poster

Small things that are big tells

679 replies

SisterAgatha · 03/06/2021 14:38

Just for fun, what are the little things you notice about people that actually tell you quite a lot about their nature.

I noticed last week that whenever we go for dinner with my SIL she always assumes the first meal that comes out is hers. Even if it’s very obviously not. And if you order the same thing, she practically snatches the one that is served first. Lots of eye balling peoples dinner to check no one has got anything she ordered. I can definitely extend this behaviour in to other areas of her life too. Wink

Anyone else spot these little things?

OP posts:
Losttheplotyearsago · 05/06/2021 23:12

@ddl1

Am usually too absorbed in a book or newspaper etc if someone comes on the train or bus. When am asked to give up my seat by anybody I just shrug and say "hidden disability, sorry" I

Which of course makes it that much more difficult for those of us who DO have hidden disabilities to be believed!

I think I missed something? The poster here was saying she DOES have a hidden disability?
quizqueen · 05/06/2021 23:18

People who can't spell and have a poor grasp of written grammar who then say that it doesn't matter, when it was things they should have mastered before leaving infant school.

Losttheplotyearsago · 05/06/2021 23:23

@quizqueen

People who can't spell and have a poor grasp of written grammar who then say that it doesn't matter, when it was things they should have mastered before leaving infant school.
I am going to respectfully challenge this one. They may be dyslexic and didn't get diagnosis or support at school
Bangolads · 05/06/2021 23:26

@vampirethriller and @BlueCowWonders
YES!! Totally this. It’s a way of trying to very directly manipulate our perception by announcing how they want us to see them. It’s kind of childish.

Bangolads · 05/06/2021 23:33

And @Losttheplotyearsago I also respectfully challenge this - as a dyslexic who didn’t read properly I was 11 I don’t particularly feel that bad spelling or grammar is indicative of character failings- how could it be? If you were familiar with research on the subject you’d know this. Instead you’ve just made a silly comment because perhaps it makes you feel better about your own failings. I have just been headhunted for a large and prestigious organisation for my very particular skill set. I’m very proud of how far I’ve come.

Losttheplotyearsago · 05/06/2021 23:35

Oh, just thought of another one. women who use little girl voices and act like they little girls. Sometimes they use little girl body language, the way they sit and the clothes they wear. I guess am being a bit intolerant as people can wear what they want and speak how they like but I can't help seeing women like that as a bit manipulative because they come across as needy. It all seems a bit of an act to be honest . Am not convinced most adults are really that helpless.

Losttheplotyearsago · 05/06/2021 23:37

Oh and don't get me started on adult baby types! That's just weird. Who wants to be helpless and vulnerable like a baby? Being an adult is way better. You get to choose who you have in your life and don't have to take anybody's crap anymore.

Losttheplotyearsago · 05/06/2021 23:38

@Bangolads

And *@Losttheplotyearsago* I also respectfully challenge this - as a dyslexic who didn’t read properly I was 11 I don’t particularly feel that bad spelling or grammar is indicative of character failings- how could it be? If you were familiar with research on the subject you’d know this. Instead you’ve just made a silly comment because perhaps it makes you feel better about your own failings. I have just been headhunted for a large and prestigious organisation for my very particular skill set. I’m very proud of how far I’ve come.
Well said!

You should be proud! Well done!

Flowers Wine

AmberIsACertainty · 05/06/2021 23:58

[quote AnnieSnap]@FlowerChildofthe80s “ I wouldn't either. Am usually too absorbed in a book or newspaper etc if someone comes on the train or bus. When am asked to give up my seat by anybody I just shrug and say "hidden disability, sorry" I've got nothing against pregnant women or elderly really, in my case it doesn't really tell anything”

That’s disgusting behaviour and yet you don’t mind admitting on a public forum 🤷‍♀️ Wow![/quote]
WTF?! Why is it disgusting behaviour? She's said she's disabled. If she can't balance standing up on public transport or it causes her pain or something, why should she be expected to give up her seat just because her disability is hidden, unlikely pregnancy and old age which can be seen? (I'm not saying pregnancy or old age is a disability, by the way. Although it may be for some).

Same to the other poster who thinks that because the above mentioned disabled person didn't give up their seat for a pregnant woman, she should never expect anyone to give up their seat for her. There's just no logic in that Confused

madroid · 06/06/2021 00:20

'when it was things ' - argh the irony Grin

Sunbeam18 · 06/06/2021 00:28

People who don't ask any questions in a conversation

DoesSheDoesntShe · 06/06/2021 09:50

@Losttheplotyearsago

Oh, just thought of another one. women who use little girl voices and act like they little girls. Sometimes they use little girl body language, the way they sit and the clothes they wear. I guess am being a bit intolerant as people can wear what they want and speak how they like but I can't help seeing women like that as a bit manipulative because they come across as needy. It all seems a bit of an act to be honest . Am not convinced most adults are really that helpless.
I have a friend who is a nursery school teacher and she can’t switch off her baby voice. She speaks to us all (including her DH) in the same way she speaks to the children at work. It’s very annoying and she sounds patronising. She is a nice person but I understand people forming an opinion of her because of it!
ddl1 · 06/06/2021 09:59

I think I missed something? The poster here was saying she DOES have a hidden disability?

I may have misread or misunderstood the post; but the way I interpreted it was that she's too absorbed in her reading to get up, and then claims to have a hidden disability when asked. If I did misunderstand it, I sincerely apologize.

DoesSheDoesntShe · 06/06/2021 09:59

Same to the other poster who thinks that because the above mentioned disabled person didn't give up their seat for a pregnant woman, she should never expect anyone to give up their seat for her. There's just no logic in that confused

I said this.

I said that as long as she doesn’t expect others to give up their seat for her, that’s ok.

I doubt she would. Given that she is fully aware that not all disabilities are visible.

Plenty of people have hidden disabilities - this poster is unlikely to be the only person needing a seat and I’m sure she is conscious not to judge others who do not move for her.

Bambam2019 · 06/06/2021 10:03

People who “just say it like it is” are often very rude and struggle to see a line between people asking for their opinion, and just giving it anyway.

ivegotdreadfulpmttoday · 06/06/2021 10:11

This thread has got me wondering. Surely some things are just conversational tics. I say to be honest, for example, but it's usually when someone else is pushing me for an opinion. I occasionally tell people I am a pathological truth teller because that is true. I am incapable of telling lies (ASD trait apparently).

KarensGobbyChops · 06/06/2021 10:40

It's in the thread shinynewapple21. The sandwich theory, have a reread.

DansMaPoche probably doesn't feel the need to retype it all, unless we are indeed still dans sa poche and she just hasn't checked MN yet.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 06/06/2021 10:51

@ddl1

Am usually too absorbed in a book or newspaper etc if someone comes on the train or bus. When am asked to give up my seat by anybody I just shrug and say "hidden disability, sorry" I

Which of course makes it that much more difficult for those of us who DO have hidden disabilities to be believed!

I thought this too.

That poster is a nasty piece of work!

SchadenfreudePersonified · 06/06/2021 10:53

[quote AnnieSnap]@FlowerChildofthe80s “ I wouldn't either. Am usually too absorbed in a book or newspaper etc if someone comes on the train or bus. When am asked to give up my seat by anybody I just shrug and say "hidden disability, sorry" I've got nothing against pregnant women or elderly really, in my case it doesn't really tell anything”

That’s disgusting behaviour and yet you don’t mind admitting on a public forum 🤷‍♀️ Wow![/quote]
Yep.

It tells quite a lot, actually.

Grellbunt · 06/06/2021 10:54

We do not know if poster actually has a hidden disability or just lies about having one. Big difference!

Murraytheskull · 06/06/2021 10:58

Men who say 'I'm a nice guy' always, always are complete arseholes. A nice guy wouldn't need to tell you they're nice their actions would speak for them.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 06/06/2021 10:59

@ddl1

I think I missed something? The poster here was saying she DOES have a hidden disability?

I may have misread or misunderstood the post; but the way I interpreted it was that she's too absorbed in her reading to get up, and then claims to have a hidden disability when asked. If I did misunderstand it, I sincerely apologize.

That's how I interpreted it, too.

Ansd like you, if I have misunderstood a slightly "foggy" posy, I apologise for being judgemental. But the whole thing started with "I never give up a seat fo rpregnant women etc . . ." and ended "I just hide behind my book and pretend I haven't noticed." (paraphrasing) Everything after seems to confirm a selfish tw*t, not a hidden disability.

Middersweekly · 06/06/2021 11:30

I agree with the PP who said the people who are rude to waiting staff, cleaners etc are generally very unpleasant and unkind people who see themselves as above others.

The people who pretend to be overly empathetic but are generally assholes and mostly bullies. This is true of many ex colleagues!

People who post their relationship all over social media are usually the most unhappy. I’ve seen this too many times to count.

Agree also with the people who have drama with one or more people usually have drama in all aspects of their life and live very chaotically.

WisconsinRaw · 06/06/2021 11:42

Anyone who uses the expression "playing the race card" is a massive racist.

Ozanj · 06/06/2021 11:49

People who describe themselves as ‘straight forward’ or ‘plain speaking’ are often just bullies who will use any old excuse to start a fight