British Grenadiers
Some die of drinking water and some of drinking beer,
Some die of constipation and some of diarrhoea,
But of all the world's diseases there's none that can compare,
To the drip, drip, drip of a syphilitic prick and they call it gonorrhoea.
I like the girls who say they do and the girls who say they don't,
I like the girls who say they will and the girls who say they won't,
But of all the girls I like the best I may be wrong or right,
Are the girls who say they never will but look as though they might.
Rule Britannia
Rule the tanner two tanners make a bob,
King George never, never ever shaved his knob.
Eton Boating Song
The sexual life of the camel is stranger than anyone thinks,
At the height of the mating season, he tries to bugger the Sphinx,
But the Sphinx's annular sphincter is filled with the sands of the Nile,
Which accounts for the hump on the camel and the Sphinx's inscrutable smile.