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Original poster

he is angry i haven't waxed down there?

601 replies

wdjav · 22/05/2021 09:59

In fact he’s angry about most things.

Without going into too much detail, I keep hair short down there but never go for a wax. It’s not bushy or long. I shave regularly. I just don’t want a wax. He said the other day that I must be the only woman who is happy with that and he’s shocked I don’t want my arsehole waxed specifically.

Other comments have been why do I think it’s ok not to wear heels into the office. Why do I slob out in a tracksuit when home from work. Why don’t I wear make up everyday. Why does my eyeliner wear off during the day...he’s noticed our mutual friend’s eyeliners stays on an entire night and looks the same from 7pm to 11pm, would I like him to get me the same one?? Hmm

Recently I moved during sex as felt slight pain due to the position. I just wanted to re position. He pulled out and stormed off slamming the door saying what’s wrong with me?? I started to cry. The next morning he looked at me and mockingly sniggered and said who cries during sex?

I’m just so sad. No other ties to him so could leave easily. I’m 36, 37 at the end of the year though. It’s so scary to think about starting over. I feel sick when I think about staying and sick when I think about leaving. I will end up alone either way.

OP posts:
Giggorata · 22/05/2021 10:36

Do not get pregnant by this awful man.

Get out asap, before he ruins the rest of your life.

Do please have a look at the Freedom programme, I think you will find it an eye opener.
I had one a bit like this, in my disastrous first marriage. When I got out, I flew, and never looked back.

Good luck.

Original poster
wdjav · 22/05/2021 10:37

I don’t know why I stayed. It was incremental and he used to give excuses like he was stressed or worried about his health etc. We went away last year for a week and on the second day he asked me to take lipstick on a walk, I said no it’s a walk, he proceeed not to speak to me for the next four days. Literally didn’t speak one word.

I’m just so sad I let this carry on and feel I’ve lost any chance of a family now

OP posts:
Crappyfridays7 · 22/05/2021 10:38

That’s really sad, yes it’ll be hard to leave. But the sooner you do it and start living your own life and the potential is there to meet someone who isn’t an abuser like this guy.
I’d say it’s scarier to stay with him tbh he sounds awful and you shouldn’t have to put up with that ever.

Run for the hills and you’ll be glad you did. It will be hard but on the long run you’ll be glad you did

Rainbow321 · 22/05/2021 10:39

I'm going to make some assumptions here .

He watches porn.
His ideal of the perfect woman will one one that takes part in them , hair on head and eyebrows only, an oiled body, and make up touched up every 20 minutes . THIS is not a real woman , you are.
Don't shave any part of you that you don't want to. Don't wear heels or anything for anyone except you and don't try to emulate a friend to suit him either. He is the one with a problem not you.
He is the one that should be feeling lucky that you have allowed him to be part of your life, it's not the other way round.

Queenoftheashes · 22/05/2021 10:39

You haven’t lost all chance of a family. Things can happen quickly and you have time. But if you stay with him much longer that window is only going to shrink - you have to go now.

Noshowlomo · 22/05/2021 10:39

Another LTB here.
OP, I had my first at 36 and my second just before I was 39. Please don’t think you haven’t got time! But you won’t if you stay with this abusive ass hole, and you certainly don’t any kids with him!

Ninkanink · 22/05/2021 10:40

Leave.

Do it now, like ripping off a plaster.

It’s never as hard as you think it’s going to be.

AccidentallyOnPurpose · 22/05/2021 10:40

@wdjav

In fact he’s angry about most things.

Without going into too much detail, I keep hair short down there but never go for a wax. It’s not bushy or long. I shave regularly. I just don’t want a wax. He said the other day that I must be the only woman who is happy with that and he’s shocked I don’t want my arsehole waxed specifically.

Other comments have been why do I think it’s ok not to wear heels into the office. Why do I slob out in a tracksuit when home from work. Why don’t I wear make up everyday. Why does my eyeliner wear off during the day...he’s noticed our mutual friend’s eyeliners stays on an entire night and looks the same from 7pm to 11pm, would I like him to get me the same one?? Hmm

Recently I moved during sex as felt slight pain due to the position. I just wanted to re position. He pulled out and stormed off slamming the door saying what’s wrong with me?? I started to cry. The next morning he looked at me and mockingly sniggered and said who cries during sex?

I’m just so sad. No other ties to him so could leave easily. I’m 36, 37 at the end of the year though. It’s so scary to think about starting over. I feel sick when I think about staying and sick when I think about leaving. I will end up alone either way.

It's scarier to think that this could be your life for however many years.
Feelingsad101 · 22/05/2021 10:40

This is abuse and it makes me shudder . Get out the relationship ASAP x

Sixsillysausagessizzlinginapan · 22/05/2021 10:40
Flowers
AdjustableAssholeSettings · 22/05/2021 10:41

Oh my god, he is awful and enjoys making you feel sad, unsure, insecure and wants to tear you down.
Get out before he turns you into a shadow of yourself.

mamabear449 · 22/05/2021 10:41

Please please leave this man. I am 37 too and have a baby with an emotional abusive man who unfortunately will be in our lives forever now.

Like you I desperately want another child but 37 is still young. Doing it alone would be far better than giving your child this man as a father.

Beamur · 22/05/2021 10:41

Your life will be 100% better without him.
If you want a family it's not too late to meet someone else, or go alone.
He sounds horrible and controlling. I couldn't live like that. There's a much better life waiting for you out there.

justanotherneighinparadise · 22/05/2021 10:41

@wdjav

I don’t know why I stayed. It was incremental and he used to give excuses like he was stressed or worried about his health etc. We went away last year for a week and on the second day he asked me to take lipstick on a walk, I said no it’s a walk, he proceeed not to speak to me for the next four days. Literally didn’t speak one word.

I’m just so sad I let this carry on and feel I’ve lost any chance of a family now

Could you freeze your eggs?
DumbestBlonde · 22/05/2021 10:42

Please leave him.
Starting over - being alone - any or either option is better tha to stay with him.

He will grind you down further if you stay, and you will gradually lose the inner resources that you need to break free.

reallyreallyborednow · 22/05/2021 10:42

’m just so sad I let this carry on and feel I’ve lost any chance of a family now

If you want kids your best bet is to dump this useless arsehole and find a sperm donor.

Raising kids is much easier without trying to manage a fucking useless father as well.

Howzaboutye · 22/05/2021 10:42

LTB

Bucklestimeshare · 22/05/2021 10:42

Op you’ve probably excused and forgiven his behaviour for so long that you can’t see just how awful it is.

Don’t live like this anymore. Make plans today to leave him. Confide in your family and friends.

Don’t let him talk you into staying.

Get your life back.

strawberries0 · 22/05/2021 10:43

Don't say anything until you get your stuff in order, then leave and don't look back. Your first breath stepping out that door will feel like freedom.

boredinthouse · 22/05/2021 10:44

OP don't stay, he's abusive with you, he will be abusive with your children too. Please please leave. You and your future children deserve more.

Motnight · 22/05/2021 10:44

Op I think that you might be feeling over whelmed by some of the posts on this thread. And that's ok. You don't even need to read them all. But when you are ready to, you will get fantastic caring and practical advice about how to take the next steps.

Good luck.

myhobbyisouting · 22/05/2021 10:44

Just leave. Go, today. You haven't missed the chance of a family at all.

Know your worth and get away from this absolute cretin. He's a stain on society and humanity. Just absolute scum.

Mummyratbag · 22/05/2021 10:45

My first ever LTB.

I know your self esteem will be on the floor, but honestly this is not in anyway normal. It's all on him.

You could have up to another 50+ years with this hairy arsehole! Remove him - no wax needed.

You are still young - please go out and take charge of your life. I mean this in the nicest way, but waiting longer is not going to make you feel anymore confident in leaving...

Cornettoninja · 22/05/2021 10:45

Your children deserve a better father than this man, don’t tell yourself you can protect them from it because you can’t, kids can sense an atmosphere even if they haven’t got the emotional intelligence to make sense of it.

I understand that your age is concerning you but this is why you need to cut your losses now. Life shouldn’t be this hard.

Budapestdreams · 22/05/2021 10:46

He is a nasty piece of work. He's controlling and petulant and manipulative.
Walk away and don't look back.
Good luck