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Original poster

he is angry i haven't waxed down there?

601 replies

wdjav · 22/05/2021 09:59

In fact he’s angry about most things.

Without going into too much detail, I keep hair short down there but never go for a wax. It’s not bushy or long. I shave regularly. I just don’t want a wax. He said the other day that I must be the only woman who is happy with that and he’s shocked I don’t want my arsehole waxed specifically.

Other comments have been why do I think it’s ok not to wear heels into the office. Why do I slob out in a tracksuit when home from work. Why don’t I wear make up everyday. Why does my eyeliner wear off during the day...he’s noticed our mutual friend’s eyeliners stays on an entire night and looks the same from 7pm to 11pm, would I like him to get me the same one?? Hmm

Recently I moved during sex as felt slight pain due to the position. I just wanted to re position. He pulled out and stormed off slamming the door saying what’s wrong with me?? I started to cry. The next morning he looked at me and mockingly sniggered and said who cries during sex?

I’m just so sad. No other ties to him so could leave easily. I’m 36, 37 at the end of the year though. It’s so scary to think about starting over. I feel sick when I think about staying and sick when I think about leaving. I will end up alone either way.

OP posts:
Lavender201 · 22/05/2021 10:25

LEAVE HIM

You do not want children with this man.

Real men do not care about neat pubes, or even notice eyeliner wearing off. He sounds absolutely deranged, frankly. I hope you get to experience a normal relationship soon Flowers

justanotherneighinparadise · 22/05/2021 10:26

@wdjav

In fact he’s angry about most things.

Without going into too much detail, I keep hair short down there but never go for a wax. It’s not bushy or long. I shave regularly. I just don’t want a wax. He said the other day that I must be the only woman who is happy with that and he’s shocked I don’t want my arsehole waxed specifically.

Other comments have been why do I think it’s ok not to wear heels into the office. Why do I slob out in a tracksuit when home from work. Why don’t I wear make up everyday. Why does my eyeliner wear off during the day...he’s noticed our mutual friend’s eyeliners stays on an entire night and looks the same from 7pm to 11pm, would I like him to get me the same one?? Hmm

Recently I moved during sex as felt slight pain due to the position. I just wanted to re position. He pulled out and stormed off slamming the door saying what’s wrong with me?? I started to cry. The next morning he looked at me and mockingly sniggered and said who cries during sex?

I’m just so sad. No other ties to him so could leave easily. I’m 36, 37 at the end of the year though. It’s so scary to think about starting over. I feel sick when I think about staying and sick when I think about leaving. I will end up alone either way.

Honestly you need to examine why this is acceptable to you? I’m not victim blaming but I literally would be gone when he’d made the comment about hairy arseholes, let alone all the other bullshit.

He is not satisfied with you so be gone. Let him buy himself one of those silicone AI dolls and he can order one that’s hair free with perfect eyeliner that will stay nice and still during sex 👌

Zzelda · 22/05/2021 10:26

Be grateful that you don't have children who would tie you to this idiot for life. Please walk out, just think about the sheer freedom of not having to endure all these sulks and insults all the time.

vampirethriller · 22/05/2021 10:26

Fuck that. Don't inflict him on innocent children, who he will bully and abuse until they don't know what a normal relationship is.

Geordieoldgirl · 22/05/2021 10:27

Leave him, but whatever you do, don’t fall pregnant. How would you feel if he was as obnoxious to your children as he has been to you?

vampirethriller · 22/05/2021 10:27

And I've never waxed anything and have never had anyone complain!

noirchatsdeux · 22/05/2021 10:27

I stopped removing hair from 'down there' when I was about 35 and was told by my doctor to stop as it was causing skin problems...so that's now about 16 years. In the time since I've had 2 serious relationships after splitting from exH when I was 42, and a few one night/short relationships...and none of the men have said a word.

At most I cut back and trim and slightly shave back the sides (only so I can wear a swimsuit).

However the state of the hair on your body is the least of your concerns. No one has told me what to wear since I was about 17 - and even then I ignored my parents when they tried. That behaviour alone would have made me get rid. Stop wasting time and get rid of this horrible vile man asap.

buckeejit · 22/05/2021 10:28

Imagine you found out that someone you loved was being treated this way. What would you want them to do?

Leave. Do it fast. There is nothing that can redeem this man so it's not a hard decision & the practical stuff won't be hard once the ball is rolling. Good luck.

Monicuddle · 22/05/2021 10:28

Please listen to all these voices. You are younger than you feel and you deserve so much more.

Whythesadface · 22/05/2021 10:28

His manner says he doesn't actually like you.
He wants his version of you.
Please leave him, and realise life is better alone than with anyone who is so nasty they could do that in such at intimate moment.
Learn to love yourself again.

baubled · 22/05/2021 10:29

Honestly having a baby with him would make it ten times worse and ten times harder to leave, speaking from experience.

Get out while it's easy to, you could meet the most amazing man in 2 days, 2 months whatever time and still have a family- the longer you stay, the less time you have to find someone who is kind and treats you well to start a family with.

MrsPnut · 22/05/2021 10:31

Please do leave him, a partner is there to make you feel better about yourself and your life, not to snigger at you and claim you are the only woman in the world that doesn't or does do something.

I've never waxed, I almost never wear make up or heels. I last wore a dress in 2018 at a wedding. I haven't had sex since September last year despite sharing a bed with my OH every night.
My OH understands that I am and have been very ill. He's picked up all the slack in the house and done it without complaining.

That's what you deserve, someone who has your back.

PerveenMistry · 22/05/2021 10:31

Why would you stay with such a vile, despicable creature? Why??

Neolara · 22/05/2021 10:32

Blimey. Just think about how awful he would be if you had kids with him. Please don't even think about getting pregnant. If you get out now, you have every chance of meeting someone else and possibly having kids (if this is what you want). He sounds terrible. I would strongly recommend you leave him asap.

PerveenMistry · 22/05/2021 10:33

@wdjav

I know. It’s much scarier when you’re in this situation at this age though.

I know he’s abusing me. I was in denial for a long time. I’m so sad.

Stop obsessing on your age. You are a young woman. I'd kill to be 37 again. There's a whole world out there; why shackle yourself to a disgusting creep?
mrsbitaly · 22/05/2021 10:33

Oh my gosh please leave now!! You are lucky you have no ties not that it's going to be easy but just writing what you have does it not ring alarm bells that it's completely unacceptable to be treated like that!! I would rather be alone then have something dig at everything I do and bring me down and ruin my self esteem. What a fuckin dickhead. Sorry I don't usually swear on forums but I can't believe you are putting up with that!

fairgame84 · 22/05/2021 10:33

Leave. It's not too late to meet someone decent and start a family. I'm the same age as you and just got married this week and we're ttc. I was stuck for 13 years in a toxic relationship. After I finally had the courage to leave, I met DH less than a year later. I was emotionally detached from ex for a long time and it sounds like you are too. Honestly leaving will be the best thing you ever do.

Etinox · 22/05/2021 10:35

Leave as soon as you can and until then double down on contraception. You really can’t be tied to this horrible man for ever. I’ve posted on here before, I have more friends who had babies in their 40s than 20s. Most unassisted including one who decided at her 40th birthday party that she did in fact want dcs- and did!

flossletsfloss · 22/05/2021 10:35

Bloody hell! Why are you putting up with that shite!

Original poster
wdjav · 22/05/2021 10:35

I’ve never said I want a family with hi

Of course it’s scary at nearly 37 to start over. I’m feeling horrendous today and don’t need people telling me he’d be a shit parent. I know that

OP posts:
PerveenMistry · 22/05/2021 10:35

@wdjav

Yes I had wanted a family. 37 in November and I am in tears thinking about that.
Don't even think of inflicting this horrid man on offspring as their bio father. Better to be child free than to do that.

The sooner you leave him the sooner you can find someone nice and maybe have that family.

JustHereWithMyPopcorn · 22/05/2021 10:35

Get the hell out while you still have some self confidence left in you. Please.

xsjrx · 22/05/2021 10:36

Seriously start over, this is not someone you want to start a family with regardless of age!!

TheMotherlode · 22/05/2021 10:36

Leave! Be free to grow your pubes and wear what you want.

countrypunk · 22/05/2021 10:36

It’s much scarier when you’re in this situation at this age though.

I understand how you feel, but are you really saying that being alone is worse than being with this worthless piece of shite?

His behaviour is coercive control: www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/what-is-domestic-abuse/coercive-control/

Love yourself. Get away from him.

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