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Original poster

he is angry i haven't waxed down there?

601 replies

wdjav · 22/05/2021 09:59

In fact he’s angry about most things.

Without going into too much detail, I keep hair short down there but never go for a wax. It’s not bushy or long. I shave regularly. I just don’t want a wax. He said the other day that I must be the only woman who is happy with that and he’s shocked I don’t want my arsehole waxed specifically.

Other comments have been why do I think it’s ok not to wear heels into the office. Why do I slob out in a tracksuit when home from work. Why don’t I wear make up everyday. Why does my eyeliner wear off during the day...he’s noticed our mutual friend’s eyeliners stays on an entire night and looks the same from 7pm to 11pm, would I like him to get me the same one?? Hmm

Recently I moved during sex as felt slight pain due to the position. I just wanted to re position. He pulled out and stormed off slamming the door saying what’s wrong with me?? I started to cry. The next morning he looked at me and mockingly sniggered and said who cries during sex?

I’m just so sad. No other ties to him so could leave easily. I’m 36, 37 at the end of the year though. It’s so scary to think about starting over. I feel sick when I think about staying and sick when I think about leaving. I will end up alone either way.

OP posts:
LemonPeonies · 22/05/2021 10:10

Starting over after an 11 year similarly abusive relationship was scary for me too. I'm 32 now but mid 30's is not old. My current DP literally brought me flowers this morning for no reason and we have a beautiful 18 month old boy. I no longer suffer panic attacks since I got rid of my ex hairy bum hole. Good luck.

Footloosefancyfree · 22/05/2021 10:10

Hes emotionally abusive if you got pregnant the abuse would ramp up significantly get out whilst you can.

Crazycatlady83 · 22/05/2021 10:10

It's scary OP, but you are stronger than you think. Leave him and make a better life for yourself without being abused on a daily basis

Cam2020 · 22/05/2021 10:10

What an absolute prick. I'm not someone who is liberal with my LTBs, but this isa, definite, LTB. He's an abusive arsehole.

Palavah · 22/05/2021 10:11

@wdjav

Yes I had wanted a family. 37 in November and I am in tears thinking about that.
The sooner you leave, the sooner you can start the rest of your life.

Stop thinking about the worst thing that can happen if you leave him, and think about the best.

Ju11tne · 22/05/2021 10:11

How long have you been with him OP? Any reason you don’t have kids already together? I tell you what it’s a blessing!!!

Up and leave OP you have no kids and that’s a big bonus more than you will ever realise.

Tbh I wouldn’t have sex with him again. Crude man!

QueenofDestruction · 22/05/2021 10:11

He is horrid. My husband would never tell me to shave and he shaves or waxes himself but I don't bother, currently not even legs or armpits which I probably will for summer but he would not dream of saying anything either way. Neither would he want me to be either other than happy during sex. This man is so awful please run he is not what you deserve,

torquewench · 22/05/2021 10:11

@RaininSummer

I think it sounds much scarier imagining a life with this awful person than starting over late 30s.
☝️this.
Gucci1961 · 22/05/2021 10:11

If you really want a baby, go it alone, but do NOT have a child with this abusive predator.

I am having therapy once a fortnight and I really recommend it and wish I'd had it before I got involved with my x 20 years ago. I'm ok, so I didn't desperately need therapy, but I'm glad i made the move.

Lipz · 22/05/2021 10:11

If you choose to stay this is your life forever and it'll get worse. I know what I'd choose. If you even consider having children with him you are knowingly and willing to subject them to this abuse.

DanceWithYourBalloon · 22/05/2021 10:11

If you had children with this poor excuse for a human being I can guarantee he will undermine your parenting and use those children as weapons.
You deserve much, much more than this 'man' will ever give you! X

TheQueef · 22/05/2021 10:11

This man is an abuser, imagine how he will parent a daughter?
Fuck that.

Don't settle lass.
This isn't your lot.

ncgy · 22/05/2021 10:12

You must start over. Anything is better than this. However before you go trample all over his self esteem, that's what I would do.

Gucci1961 · 22/05/2021 10:12

Pressed submit too soon!

So if you fear that the starting (to look) again will be hard for you, go to see a therapist to give you that crutch.

End it with that man and the self-efficacy of having made that decision will be good for you.

You will gain self-esteem immediately from having made a decision for your own life.

It's a really positive loop.

x

GlutenFreeGingerCake · 22/05/2021 10:12

He would be a terrible father and co-parent if he is this controlling and sexist. You would be much better off single and childfree than trapped in an abusive relationship with a man who mistreats you and the kids. That's not to say you might not meet someone else and have a lovely family.

WannabePilot · 22/05/2021 10:13

Posts like yours make me genuinely sad OP. I hear about these dick heads time and time again and can’t believe how lovey women get caught by them. You must leave him OP. If you want a family you still have plenty of time.

Daisychainsandglitter · 22/05/2021 10:13

Leave. What a pig of a man

NuffSaidSam · 22/05/2021 10:13

If you want children then you have to leave because you can't have children with him. Imagine what he'd do to them psychologically.

cupoftea2021 · 22/05/2021 10:13

How you think feel or present yourself is Your choice not anyone else's.
Crying is a perfectly natural response to stress and abisive behaviour you are enduring.
Someone else will accept and appreciate you 37 or not.
How do these repulsive men come to be so I wonder.

Quiero · 22/05/2021 10:13

You know what you need to do, he is abusive. I get the age thin but even if you stay, how could you possibly have children with someone like this? Abusive behaviour escalates in pregnancy. How would he cope with you being pregnant? Your body changing, a baby puking in your hair? Potentially no sex for months?

Would you want him to tell your daughter what to wear?

Get rid my love, you are worth more than this.

Imperialheaven · 22/05/2021 10:14

Regarding children you still have a few years left to have them with someone else, it can happen into early forties. Imagine having a daughter with him and when she gets older he criticizes her make up or lack of, or he has a son that he brings up to treat women the way he treats you now. Down the line when you split up anyway (which you will) he will have unsupervised access to any children, imagine the damage to them from such a man? Run and don’t look back x

Heathcliff27 · 22/05/2021 10:14

What would you tell a best friend if she told you all this about her partner?

You know you have to leave and I understand it's scary starting out again but thill will not get any better if you stay Thanks

ArnottsUnderpass · 22/05/2021 10:14

I am not a frequent one for this but LTB. Run for the hills. This man is not someone you want or need to spend any more time on.

You deserve far better!

LividBlabber · 22/05/2021 10:15

Let me promise you something.

The actual leaving will be difficult but once it’s done, you will feel SO FREE.

You WILL look back on this time and wonder what the hell you were thinking.

You WILL be so proud of yourself for getting out.

custardbear · 22/05/2021 10:16

You can't stay, he's abusive and you'll crumble. You can't have children with him
Either, he'll break them too. Find someone you deserve, it's not this atsehole