DH taken to hospital by ambulance at 11am. How long before I hear anything?

[NewMatress]

Will I hear anything?

I'm sick of the Covid rules now . He was in hospital for 2 months without a single visitor, had to receive the news that his cancer was terminal and there won't be any more treatment, in hospital, on his own, by telephone because the consultant was shielding.

He's seriously ill, we know there's little to be done for him, but the hospice won't increase his pain relief without having him medically assessed because he has new chest pain. I do understand the reasons but...

I wasn't allowed to go with him today and had to see him go, screaming in pain from being moved and begging me not to send him, he's already spent too many of his last weeks in hospital without his family. Although terminal, still no visits until the last days. I understand why he didn't want to go, I couldn't get the pain relief he needs without having him assessed though.

He's not answering his phone, I don't know if he's well enough to contact me and I haven't heard anything.

How long do I wait before calling the hospital?

@Latelatelate

So in your effort to force your way into the department you could be bringing Covid into an area that’s full of sick people. Whilst your main concern is, naturally, your sick husband, the staff are responsible for the protection of every patient in the department. How would you feel, say, if your elderly mother had to go in due to a fall, and contracted Covid from a patient’s visitor then died?

Did you really have to type that?
What is wrong with you?
Not the time to lecture the OP.

FFS

I think you've misunderstood... She wasn't lecturing the OP, she was replying to a selfish, idiotic pp.

Cancer patients are very vulnerable due to the treatments and on my DH ward it was cleared twice due to covid during his admission in January. He ended up with hospital aquired covid and nearly died. So those that say get up there and sod covid are naive at best. My DH wasnt for resuc as are many others on the unit. He was already vulnerable due to the treatment he was on. He has had a terrible time since his diagnosis and I would have been very upset that he ended up dying of covid due to folks thinking the rules dont apply to them.

@Soontobe60

I think, as I read it, that OP knew you were referring to a PP, not her. OP said:
She wasn't lecturing me, but the PP who felt I should have pushed harder. That was lecturing me!

(The 'she' above being you!)

'Sending you hugs, NewMatress. My mother died of cancer 3 years ago and I have often thought during the past year just how awful it would be if she was undergoing treatment now. I cannot imagine the anguish.
Covid has done so much collateral damage.'

I agree with this. My Dad died in 2019 with cancer. He had hospital visits then was in a hospice where he passed away. Visitors kept him going and up until the end he was cheerful. I just couldn't imagine him being on his own with no one to visit. Thinking of you and feel very angry that you are being treated the way you are.

I’m so sorry for you NewMattress but I’m really glad they’ve let you in, maybe you could just need to make sure you drop him something off each day (hopefully he’ll be home soon). My mum was diagnosed, and treated for lymphoma at Clatterbridge at the end of last year - she had no visitors from the point of her diagnosis (about six weeks). Her prognosis was good, until a few days before she died. When it suddenly became critical, the hospital let myself and two of my brothers in for her last three days, we slept in her room and cared for her - it was so tough, and tough that she’d been on her own for so long, but the compassion they showed at the end allowing us to visit in what were very difficult circumstances for everybody have made her passing a bit more bearable - I can never thank them enough for those days particularly as her illness was unexpected, and she had been transferred from a place with very strict border entry requirements and I hadn’t seen her for almost a year.

I really hope your DH is comfortable and that he can be treated in a hospice/at home soon

Couldn't read and run.

My heart goes out to you, OP. I'm glad you've managed to see / speak to him tonight. Hope he's home with you soon and more comfortable.

@NewMatress

Sooo. He's now on the ward. They called to say they couldn't get hold of one of the drugs he's on, could I take them and drop them with security at the door.

Security rang the ward and couldn't get through. He told me to take them up to the ward. I got to the ward door and despite being seen, was ignored, so I walked through the ward to the nurses station and was still ignored until I explained why I was there. Nurse took the pills and asked if I wanted to see him

I hope you got to see him

If you can bear it, or get a friend to do it, it's worth writing to your local MP. Different hospitals seem to have different rules.

Hospitals have different criteria based on the RAG rating of the ward. My DH was amber so was strict booking system. Writing to an MP wont make a blind bit of difference if your local hospital is in red.

I hope you said yes OP!

The Covid restrictions sound unbelievably cruel. I'm sorry you and your DH are going through this.

OP I know this may be inappropriate in your case but DP had lung cancer. He insisted he didn't want to stay in hospital. GP arranged for district nurses to come in daily and also we had the hospice nurses at home. They arranged for a hospital bed at home. He died at home with a lovely hospice nurse in attendance.. We are in the north east. I don't know if this is standard practice. The hospice nurses were great. I really feel for you. It's so hard. Covid is shit. DP got his diagnosis alone. It was only because of a really sympathetic nurse who let DD and I into a day room to be with DP that he was able to cope. Sending you lots of love.

God, that's hard, feellikeanalien

Hello OP. I am so sorry that you and DH are going through this. I am a HCP. I wanted to let you know that where I work , the hospital is relaxing it’s visiting rules . Patients can have a nominated visitor once daily and at the end of life have been allowed two family members at a time ( and the arrangements have been very flexible). The individual ward sisters have been able to use their discretion to allow visitors in at the end the life the whole time this year - hopefully you will find someone kind and pragmatic. Big hug

How was he today, @NewMatress? X

Hope you're both doing ok OP

@NewMatress how are you and your husband doing today? I hope he's managed to get his pain settled a bit now x x