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Original poster

DH taken to hospital by ambulance at 11am. How long before I hear anything?

165 replies

NewMatress · 21/05/2021 14:06

Will I hear anything?

I'm sick of the Covid rules now . He was in hospital for 2 months without a single visitor, had to receive the news that his cancer was terminal and there won't be any more treatment, in hospital, on his own, by telephone because the consultant was shielding.

He's seriously ill, we know there's little to be done for him, but the hospice won't increase his pain relief without having him medically assessed because he has new chest pain. I do understand the reasons but...

I wasn't allowed to go with him today and had to see him go, screaming in pain from being moved and begging me not to send him, he's already spent too many of his last weeks in hospital without his family. Although terminal, still no visits until the last days. I understand why he didn't want to go, I couldn't get the pain relief he needs without having him assessed though.

He's not answering his phone, I don't know if he's well enough to contact me and I haven't heard anything.

How long do I wait before calling the hospital?

OP posts:
Mysa74 · 21/05/2021 14:32

Hand hold for both of you Op. I can't think of much worse. If he wants to be at home with you make sure they know that you're fully aware of the prognosis and that he's only there to sort the pain relief. Hopefully they'll sort his meds and get him home very soon. We went through this with my dad last year. It was hard but so much better than the alternative. xx

Original poster
NewMatress · 21/05/2021 14:41

Still holding Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
NewMatress · 21/05/2021 14:49

Ok, so they finally answered but all they could tell me was he has a bed allocated. No known reason. Which is what he was worried about. He didn't want to spend any more time away from home.

I'm to call back in an hour when if he has gone to the ward they might be able to tell me more and be on hold for another 30 min

OP posts:

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GreyhoundG1rl · 21/05/2021 14:51

Flowers. Hope all is as well as it can be.

ncgy · 21/05/2021 14:52

Just keep pushing & ask to speak to a doctor.

twointhemorning · 21/05/2021 14:56

That's awful. I've just been diagnosed with cancer. My husband has been allowed to attend appointments and stay with me in a side room. I'm having fluid drained and he was allowed to stay while theyy did the procedure. I'm sure he would be allowed to stay and hold my hand but he's gone off to do some errands.

Can you try going to the ward yourself?

osbertthesyrianhamster · 21/05/2021 15:00

Oh, poor you and DH! Please keep phoning them.

NoNobramma · 21/05/2021 15:00

That’s awful. He’s end of life if his illness is terminal so you should be allowed to be with him. Have you got a local PALs service or even your MP.
Shockingly bad level of patient care, that is not patient centred or even bloody humane. I’m so sorry.

Joeblack066 · 21/05/2021 15:01

So sorry you and your DH are going through this OP

Justcallmebebes · 21/05/2021 15:01

Keep calling the Ward. If you have no luck getting through to the Ward email the Chief Exec's office.

If your husband is terminal or end of life you can insist on seeing him. I did with my mother 3 weeks ago and I was eventually allowed on the Ward but I had to make myself heard and insist.

My mum died on the Friday and the following Monday my dad was admitted (not terminal or end of life) and again, I insisted and was eventually allowed on the Ward to see him.

You have to absolutely insist and go to Chief Exec if you have no luck. Good luck OP

B1rthis · 21/05/2021 15:06

Cannot believe the way that medical staff have treated their patients during covid.
I'm so sorry that you are not getting the answers and he's in so much pain.
Could you go to the ward as he's possibly paliative? Everywhere should be supporting 1 visitor a day.

Walkingthedog46 · 21/05/2021 15:07

If you don’t get any information from the hospital, as your husband is already under the Hospice maybe ask them to chase things up for you. They were very helpful at expediting things for my husband.

Original poster
NewMatress · 21/05/2021 15:08

Possibly once he's on the ward. I don't know.

OP posts:
Sagelistener · 21/05/2021 15:09

Flowers sorry that sounds really difficult.

ncgy · 21/05/2021 15:10

If you look at the hospitals visitor policy, they should specify what's allowed.

mynameisbrian · 21/05/2021 15:10

My DH has a terminal diagnosis too and has had three admissions this year. He was discharged yesterday but I was allowed to visit. They were strict and he had to have two named visitors. Couldnt go at the same time or same day and couldnt be changed. I would call back and ask for the name of the ward and ask about there visiting policy.

It is really hard and I didnt see my DH in January until week 5 of his admission as they thought he was going to die. However things have loosened somewhat. I am in the UK though so appreciate you could be elsewhere. Hugs from me as it is so hard

Chamomileteaplease · 21/05/2021 15:16

Is he not able to go to a hospice? They will be able to manage his pain and also have a kinder visitor policy.

Original poster
NewMatress · 21/05/2021 15:18

@Chamomileteaplease

Is he not able to go to a hospice? They will be able to manage his pain and also have a kinder visitor policy.
His pain relief is managed by the hospice but because he has new chest pain they insisted on hospital assessment before they were prepared to review the pain relief.
OP posts:
Kyph · 21/05/2021 15:19

Does he have a CNS or palliative care nurse or some kind of liaison you could speak to? Oncology wards usually have macmillan and specialist nurses?

MightNeedABiggerGlass · 21/05/2021 15:19

This is awful OP, it's making an horrendous situation even worse.

Patient care has failed him spectacularly, you need to start stamping your feet and demanding to be with him.

Sending you and your DH virtually hugs Thanks

LIZS · 21/05/2021 15:19

Our local hospital has updated visiting guidance just this week to allow one one hour visit , one visitor, prebooked, on most wards. Once he is settled there may be a time available although it may also be a limited number in total per ward/bay. Call back a little later and see what they say. However if he needs tests or interventions visiting may not be appropriate.

loulouljh · 21/05/2021 15:20

You poor things. I hope he gets sorted soon and comes home or the hospice.

FunMcCool · 21/05/2021 15:20

Can you just go up there?

babbaloushka · 21/05/2021 15:23

This is inhumane. I hope you get through to someone who can help OP.

Itsokay2020 · 21/05/2021 15:23

This is beyond awful, I am so sorry Flowers

Whilst not as serious as your situation, an elderly relative is in hospital and had surgery on Tuesday following a fall at home on Sunday. The family has no idea how the surgery went etc, there has been zero communication and I cannot understand how this can be considered acceptable! Keep calling and insist on the earliest possible discharge