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Original poster

Fed up of other peoples dogs complicating my life.

410 replies

CrystalE · 21/05/2021 00:07

I don't mind dogs. We don't have them because of environmental concerns - we have vegetarian pets.

However recently I am fed up as trying to arrange to meet various family members seems to be totally constrained by their dogs . Here are examples:

Lets meet up for a pub lunch - family member A - "are dogs allowed"
Lets go for a country walk - family member B "can it be dog friendly"
How about a beach visit - family member C - "will dog have to be on lead"

I want to see family - not their dogs. Why can't the dogs just stay at home ...............

We love our pets but we don't want to take them everywhere with us.

OP posts:
Cemist · 21/05/2021 07:15

Your family are not obliged to see you just because you feel like seeing them. I might enjoy my family's company but not enough to exclude my dogs. Your family probably prefer their dogs' company anyway.

Confusedandshaken · 21/05/2021 07:15

I'm not a pet owner but I completely understand why friends bring their dogs on walks. Dogs need walking and there are only so many hours in the day , why go for one walk with me and then another dog walk after? I quite like it if they bring them to the house too. A well behaved dog in a lead is no bother and can be good company for me as well as the doting owner. A badly trained dog is a nightmare but luckily I only know one of them and I deliberately arrange meet ups with its owner at venues that don't take dogs

Theredjellybean · 21/05/2021 07:15

The problem is you are suggesting typical dog friendly activities.
If someone asked me to go fir a walk and pub lunch, I'd presume they knew I'd bring my dogs.
Your being ridiculous about a non issue, all footpaths in the UK are open to walkers and dogs... So they put dog on lead when in fields with life stock in it.
The dog goes back in car if pub is no dogs...
Really op, you are making up problems that don't exist.
Suggest a dinner at a restaurant or day out to a city if you don't want people to bring their dogs.
Better still just invite them to your house and you can say no dogs allowed

Sparklingbrook · 21/05/2021 07:15

I have a cat and she goes to the cattery if we go on holiday. Also if my friend who isn't a cat fan comes over I make sure the cat either goes out or goes upstairs.
Because I want to see my friend and don't want her being uncomfortable.
Isn't it all about compromise rather than 'I own a pet and you have to deal with it, tough if you don't like it?'

ElephantsNest · 21/05/2021 07:16

Dogs are a tie, as some first time owners are now realizing. I like them but it’s the main reason I don’t have one. The walk issue is a minor irritation but having to be home for the dog when you are doing activities where dogs cannot come is really limiting.

My single parent friend with a lockdown puppy now has to clock watch and rush from every activity we do together so her dog isn’t stuck in their house for more than 4 hours. There’s no one else at home who can let it out for her. She’s being a responsible owner sure, but it’s sad that activities we all enjoyed that were day long events with our kids now have to be shoehorned into a couple of hours. Spending the best part of a day paddle boarding and picnic, or a trip on the train together to the city watch the team we support play or do a museum and lunch is no longer possible with her.

ouchmyfeet · 21/05/2021 07:17

Just react as you would if it was a woman who was BF for eg or a single mother with no support. That's probably the easiest way to think about it. It's not personal - it's just not something they can do for now and possibly a few years yet or longe

Possibly the most ridiculous thing I've read on Mumsnet HmmConfused

Nonbibblebibble · 21/05/2021 07:19

Are you sure your DC wouldn’t like to see the dogs and benefit from that? Or are you planning on giving them a phobia about them too?

I don’t know where you live but honestly can’t think of anywhere around here that brining dogs or parking a camper would be an issue.
Give the relatives a spot and leave it up to them to find out if dogs or vans can go there and if for some reason it’s no, then they can find somewhere more suitable.

Oblomov21 · 21/05/2021 07:19

Surely you dog owners on this thread do go out? Occasionally? Dinner? With your husband. A party?

So not 100% dog centred?

Sparklingbrook · 21/05/2021 07:20

Are you sure your DC wouldn’t like to see the dogs and benefit from that? Or are you planning on giving them a phobia about them too?

What the what now? Grin

bunburyscucumbersandwich · 21/05/2021 07:21

YANBU. One of the things with pubs only being open outside was that loads of people brought their dogs and then didn't control them, so while eating there were various dogs coming over, begging for food, barking and generally being annoying. Dogs shaking and getting their fur in the food 🤢

Dog people always assume that every one loves their animal as much as they do. They don't.

21Flora · 21/05/2021 07:21

Why can’t the dogs go on a lead? Then you can walk through a field of sheep if they aren’t well behaved enough to not chase

Nonbibblebibble · 21/05/2021 07:21

‘ Spending the best part of a day paddle boarding and picnic, or a trip on the train together to the city watch the team we support play or do a museum and lunch is no longer possible with her.’

She needs to get herself a dog Walker! Or a friendly neighbour to help out. As a single person she may be getting far more out of having a dog than going to a match but she’s really unnecessarily restricting herself it sounds like.

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 21/05/2021 07:21

@Oblomov21

Surely you dog owners on this thread do go out? Occasionally? Dinner? With your husband. A party?

So not 100% dog centred?

I wouldn't be so sure. On another thread at the moment people claim it's utterly impossible to not take their dog it o the office (and so allergy sufferers just have to lump it).
EnoughnowIthink · 21/05/2021 07:23

We want to see them - unencumbered by dog complications

My dog is part of my family and is treated as such. If you want to go on a walk, he will be coming too. If you want to eat in a pub before/after/during a walk, he will be coming too. Is that so hard to respect? If you don’t want me to bring my dog, suggest something where dogs wouldn’t be - restaurant?

21Flora · 21/05/2021 07:24

@Nonbibblebibble please don’t walk around field margins with your dog... stick to the footpath. Field margins are specially planted for wildlife and don’t need your dog sniffing about them, especially the ground nesting birds.

looptheloopinahulahoop · 21/05/2021 07:24

@Pinchoftums

What the fuck is a vegetarian pet?
One that doesn't eat meat, clearly. Rabbits and guinea pigs being the obvious candidates. Probably vegan actually as I doubt they eat cheese either ;)

You are absolutely right OP. You will have loads of responses saying "but they're part of the family" but would they expect to take their kids everywhere, or would they meet you at a time they are in childcare/school or plan an adult evening out?

And yes dinner out at a fancy restaurant isn't a dog-friendly activity, but you should also be able to go for a dog-free walk or lunch out too. Interestingly I mistyped dog to god then. Their owners do think they are little (and big) gods!

I think it's very reasonable to want a "human adult only" evening out.

And when did it become not ok to leave a dog at home for a couple of hours? Is the dogs having the separation anxiety, or the owners?

looptheloopinahulahoop · 21/05/2021 07:24

I think it's very reasonable to want a "human adult only" evening out

(or day out)

SchadenfreudePersonified · 21/05/2021 07:24

We just get up in the morning, think - its a lovely day, lets go some where lovely and go there without having to worry about any of this shit (other than making sure guinea pigs have ehough hay for the duration)

Guinea pigs NEVER have enough hay for the duration.

We've had guinea pigs.

You can pack them against the back of the hutch with half a stone of fresh veg and by the time you've got the door closed they've scoffed the lot and are sitting on a huge pile of poo squeaking for more! But yes - they can be left.

I think that what a PP said is right - the reason your family want to bring the dogs is a combination of getting the dog a good long walk, and importantly, not leaving the dog for too long alone in the house - and I'm on their side for both of these reasons.

However, it shouldn't be up to you to have to find dog-friendly walks - that is their responsibility. There re a lot of rights-of--way that you can go on with a dog on leash, (I always keep my dogs leashed on country walks, even if is seems safe to let them off - you never know when you will brow a hill or turn a corner and be face-to-face with a sheep etc) but TBH I don't if they go through fields of livestock but I don't because I am frightened of cows and horses, so I wouldn't go down those routes anyway.

Carrying poo bags is a faff, but it's one of the "joys"* of dog ownership and it's not that difficult a job.

*One they never seem to mention on the Dogs' Trust adverts for some reason Grin

cupofdecaf · 21/05/2021 07:26

I sympathise OP. A lot of the time I see DM is complicated by her dog being with us. It restricts what she can do with her DGC but it doesn't seem to bother her and the dog and children are apparently equal. Well they are not that's madness. Why she prioritises her bloody dog over grandchildren winds me up.

Sparklingbrook · 21/05/2021 07:27

My dog is part of my family and is treated as such. If you want to go on a walk, he will be coming too. If you want to eat in a pub before/after/during a walk, he will be coming too. Is that so hard to respect?

How about respecting the wishes of someone who isn’t related to the dog as you are? Who doesn’t want a dog around them while eating?

SchadenfreudePersonified · 21/05/2021 07:29

On another thread at the moment people claim it's utterly impossible to not take their dog it o the office (and so allergy sufferers just have to lump it).

Even I, a dog obsessive, think this is ridiculous,

Assistance dogs only in offices. - and not just because of allergies - what if everybody takes one in? And they start to chase round? Or make a racket? Or fight? Or steal sandwiches?

It's just silly.

ThankYouHunkyJesus · 21/05/2021 07:29

I really don't get why it's not ok for them to bring their dog if you're going for a walk in the countryside. That's where plenty of dogs get walked. If they're a responsible dog owner they put their dog on a short lead around livestock and pick up their own dogs poo - really not sure what your problem is here except that you don't like dogs generally.

You really can't compare Guinea pigs and dogs. Guinea pigs are fine but as far as a pet goes, they're not patch on what you get out of having a dog.

Branleuse · 21/05/2021 07:29

If i was going on a country walk or hike for hours Id want to take my dog, otherwise ive still got to walk her later.
Not the same as bringing your dog for a pub lunch

CursedEngagement · 21/05/2021 07:31

@CrystalE

Because it imposes a restriction about route - can't go across fields with baby lambs/ big cows, b) might get shot by farmers c) have to carry bags o shit wondering when dog shit bin will appear d) can't go on certain beaches

Without dogs you can just look at map, find a nice walk, look at Trip Advisor, find a nice pub. Bobs your uncle

a) Yes you can, put them on a lead. b) Not if they're on a lead in any fields with livestock c) You don't have to carry anything - they aren't your dog. What difference does it make to you what someone else is carrying!?] d) Go to other beaches - it's really not that deep. Honestly, you're coming across like a petulant child complaining about things that don't actually effect you. I understand you like to judge people who have dogs because they aren't vegan but honestly, this problem is in your own head.
Nothingyet · 21/05/2021 07:32

@OppsUpsSide

We love our pets but we don't want to take them everywhere with us.

That’s because it’s not a dog.

Agreed, a dog is different from a hamster, budgie or rabbit. Or even a cat. A dog is a real part of the family.
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