Fed up of other peoples dogs complicating my life.

[CrystalE]

I don't mind dogs. We don't have them because of environmental concerns - we have vegetarian pets.

However recently I am fed up as trying to arrange to meet various family members seems to be totally constrained by their dogs . Here are examples:

Lets meet up for a pub lunch - family member A - "are dogs allowed"
Lets go for a country walk - family member B "can it be dog friendly"
How about a beach visit - family member C - "will dog have to be on lead"

I want to see family - not their dogs. Why can't the dogs just stay at home ...............

We love our pets but we don't want to take them everywhere with us.

Dog people always assume that every one loves their animal as much as they do. They don't

To be fair, many people think this about their children, too.

And in the same way that I wouldn't take a dog to a restaurant/ pub on an evening, I don't want to see or hear other people's badly behaved or too-young-to-know-not-to-screech kids there either.

Agreed, a dog is different from a hamster, budgie or rabbit. Or even a cat. A dog is a real part of the family.

Cats are also aprt of the family, but they are the stroppy teenagers whole wouldn't be seen dead with you in public.

Many country walks are not suitable for dogs where we live/ are planning to meet because of livestock.
I don’t understand this. I live in the Yorkshire dales which is absolutely full of livestock and I still take my dog all over it. I just have him on a lead
There is no way I would agree to go on a long country walk without my dog, because I’d have to go on another long country walk when I got back to satisfy my dog.
I’d happily go to a pub without my dog though. Remember adult dogs can’t be left at home alone for more than around 4 hours though so that may be a factor.

I'm with you OP.

I had a friend who brought her dog on every walk. I like dogs in general but hers is a whiny wee thing with poor recall. Every walk was taken up by her hollering after him, him pissing off people by running up to them, she never had enough poo bags, couldn't go in certain places etc.

Did my head in so I avoided meeting up with her after that if she had the dog.

I have a dog I regularly meet with friends who don't own dogs and go for a walk. They find that as someone who walks daily that I know many lovely walks that they are unfamiliar with. We regularly walk through livestock I just keep my admittedly well behaved dog on a lead, in fact my non dog owning friends are the ones who are reluctant to walk through fields with livestock in because they are not used to it. I do go to the beach a lot but the sort of beaches I walk to/on allow dogs so this is not an issue there a more of them than beaches that don't allow dogs; usually tourist hot spots are no dogs. With regard to carrying bags of dog poo if I can't find a bin I just carry the bag and don't comment this is one of the downsides of dog ownership but c'est la vie. I also meet friends and go to pubs and even hotels for lunch etc I don't always take the dog because he finds it boring as hell on these occasions if he's not coming and it's say part of a whole day out I arrange for someone to look after him.
Dog ownership is a commitment (I used to own horses so really do know what a commitment to an animal means so dogs are a walk in the park in comparison) but generally it doesn't stop me doing the things with friends that I want to do.
Perhaps a tiny bit if compromise on both sides?

I wouldn't mind that much if it was literally just a walk and the dog was well behaved. And I didn't have to be involved with muddy paws and poo bags etc
Arrive in separate cars, go for walk and (hopefully) a chat then home again, that's fine.
The words 'dog friendly pub' make my heart sink a bit though.

@CrystalE

What's weird to me is why everyone, after 20 years of child rearing graft would then want to tie themselves down with another committment. I also question whether the humanising of pets has gone too far - if they didn;t bring dog and just left it at home with lunch - would the dog actually be thinking - oh no am missing out on lovely family day out?

I totally sympathise. When a friend announces they are thinking of getting a dog I get pretty sad because I know that’s the end of lots of good times with that friend. Most of my friends have kids that are now age 9+ and so are more independent. Quite a few have got dogs in the last couple of years. We cant do lots of the things we used to and when we do go out, even if it’s a dog friendly place, the dog stops the flow of conversation constantly. The dog is pulling on the lead at other dogs, playing / interacting with other dogs, getting into conversations with other dog owners (strangers) Dog does a shit, dog goes off lead and needs to be called back, dog gets constant treats. It’s literally like having a permanent toddler with you. And it’s almost every time we arrange to meet, the dog has to come. That’s even before I get to the fact that when I meet up with the friend I have to remember not to wear any nice trousers or shoes because the dog is jumping up with muddy paws lots of times and my clothes get dirty. Really hate it. The dog will be there for 15+ years too so 15 years of having a toddler?? At least kids grow up!

I'm a dog owner, but have also been a dog free, child free (mine are grown up) person and I think you are just trying to make life difficult!
Want a dog free day with family..then give them enough notice to arrange dog care! Theatre trip and a meal..? No problem, let me know the date in advance and I'll organise a dog sitter. Day shopping in London? Ditto.
But if you ask me to go on a lovely country walk ending in a pub, you can be damn sure I won't be going without my dog because for me that is the bond we have.. long walks mean the company of the animal that I love. It doesn't mean I can't hold a conversation, my dog has never slobbered over anyone, shaken over anyone's meal ..she lies down and snoozes after a decent walk.
You sound jealous, like a toddler who can't share attention and are picking the activities which as your family to do a 'pick me!' dance.

You simply can't compare a guinea pig as a pet to a dog (I've had both)

@supercee

I'm with you OP.

I had a friend who brought her dog on every walk. I like dogs in general but hers is a whiny wee thing with poor recall. Every walk was taken up by her hollering after him, him pissing off people by running up to them, she never had enough poo bags, couldn't go in certain places etc.

Did my head in so I avoided meeting up with her after that if she had the dog.

Yep this. Totally agree OP. Dogs seem to be taking over. Went for walk with friend after not seeing each other for ages, ruined by dog disappearing as has no recall, friend hysterical, walk trashed. Another friends dog barks relentlessly at me whenever we see them and has trashed a pair of dds shoes. Another friend came round with her pita hound who terrified my cats, they disappeared outside and refused to come in, didn't eat for a day due to being so traumatised. The dog whinged, whined and barked throughout taking over the entire visit. Dog owners please take note.. leave them at home!! I'm more blunt about it now, if we're meeting up I enquire if the dogs going to be there and if so will arrange another time. Walks are ruined by dogs as the owner has to be totally focussed on the dogs behaviour and can't relax and chat. Even if the dog you're with can behave then other dogs can't and will approach the dog you're with and they'll be some kind of awkward altercation. And these poodle mongrels that are all the rage are a pain, happy, snappy, badly behaved nightmares.

This thread has made me laugh. Guinea pig poo

I live in the country. Everyone we know has a dog. My parents adore our dogs.

But if we have friends around who aren't keen, we keep them away from the friend and try to put them in the house with a bone.

And I do sometimes meet people without my dogs if I won't be out for more than 4 hrs.

Going for a walk without my dog would be annoying. I’m not a big walker and the dog would still need walking so I’d want to combine the two, or decline on the walk.

Pub is a different matter though! I’d leave the dog at home in most instances, even if it was a dog friendly pub!

I like dogs more than I used to, but I feel your pain op. Dogs are a faff and if you’re with someone who has a dog with them, it’s your faff too. Even going for a walk with a dog owner I find frustrating as you’re always having to stop while the dog poos, weeks, sniffs around, bothers another dog, or in some cases, while the dog owner has a 10-minute chat with any other random dog owner! I like getting into my stride and I don’t like chit chat, so it makes me want to scream.

However I do agree with PPs that some activities people are going reasonably want to bring their dog and you have to lump it, or make some non-dog-friendly plans with those people.

I mean if people want to come round to my house they’re going to get my cat and they have to make their own choices about that. It’s a bit like kids - in many cases they will be there and you have to put up with it.

@StillMedusa has it right. What's the point of a country walk without your dog with you?

Happy to arrange the dog sitter (at £40 for the day it can't be a regular occurrence though! =

YANBU I think the OP came across a bit badly so you are getting a lot of hate but my DM has the worst behaved dog in the entire world and every single thing is about the dog. None of then even like the dog, it's just a burden now. Can't go on walks as she barks from the second she gets out of the car until the second she goes back in. Can't go away anywhere because of the dog...not even to meet grandchild for the first time. Whole palava about cars whenever we visit as the dog has to be locked away from children as she is basically feral and she can't just be in the kitchen because she will bark continually. We have moved local and I'm dreading being asked to go in and help if they are at a wedding or something because I can't stand the whole situation.

[quote CrystalE]@KaleSlayer - Hopefully they will realise that humans are more important than dogs.[/quote]
See there’s the thing... my dog’s welfare (she can’t be left alone), and the inconvenience of my treasured giant van (driving somewhere to meet friends/family means losing my parking space in our road and faffing about with height restrictions and finding a long enough parking space for a lwb) mean that most humans just don’t meet the threshold for me being that arsed about seeing them. Especially if they don’t care that much about my circumstances/limitations and only want me to socially accessorise their day out, which seems to be what you want. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Maybe your family and friends feel the same?

why do some dog people insist that dogs are the same as children, family etc, but then also say that non dog pets cannot be a part of the family? We have guinea pigs and a cat, and a toddler, and the guinea pigs and cat are part of our family but obviously are not the same as a child. My SILs are like this, apparently children and dogs are equal, non dog pets don't count.

If you don't like dogs and don't own one you will never understand.

This is easily sorted tbh. Family members who bring dogs must sort outing so you have no stress regarding this. You can show up on the walk and enjoy their schedule (pub/coffee) which fits around their dogs. You will have happier family all round if you compromise. It's not that big a deal unless dogs are dangerous ones, of course.

If my 2 DDs come out with me when I meet a friend I will be the one to sort arrangements so the most demanding party members have their needs met which makes for a much more pleasant day all round. However, my friends don't consider my children a burden just like how I don't consider my dog-owning friends fur babies to be a burden.

We do of course make time to see each other 1-1 with planning and organisation a few times per year. I think you're being a bit grumpy tbh.

What's the point of a country walk without your dog with you?

Looking at this thread the point would be to have an uninterrupted chat with a friend who doesn't share the dog enthusiasm I suppose.

I completely understand this OP. My Mum has a fur baby and any meet ups with her have to revolve around the dog's needs. This means she never comes with us with the kids to places like zoos etc. For my birthday one year she came to visit our area and I booked afternoon tea and it was a big drama because the posh hotel wouldn't allow dogs. It was winter, so she left the dog in the car and checked it every ten minutes. The dog gets left at home for a few hours whilst she works so I'm not sure why it needed checking so much. Really ruined the occasion. It's like she couldn't put her daughter first above the dog for a couple of hours.

This means she never comes with us with the kids to places like zoos etc

Clever mum.

I feel the same About children

You don’t want to see em that much do you 😂

Pick a dog non friendly activity and take it from there. Maybe alternate between a dog friendly meet and a fog free nice evening meal or something ?

@Skyliner001

I feel the same About children

I think a lot of people do but unfortunately the difference is you can’t leave children home alone to go an meet friends.

you can’t leave children home alone to go an meet friends.

You can't necessarily leave dogs either, it depends on the dog and how long you'll be away. If I want to visit my mum I have to make sure DS1 is home or book dog daycare/Walker