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Original poster

Fed up of other peoples dogs complicating my life.

410 replies

CrystalE · 21/05/2021 00:07

I don't mind dogs. We don't have them because of environmental concerns - we have vegetarian pets.

However recently I am fed up as trying to arrange to meet various family members seems to be totally constrained by their dogs . Here are examples:

Lets meet up for a pub lunch - family member A - "are dogs allowed"
Lets go for a country walk - family member B "can it be dog friendly"
How about a beach visit - family member C - "will dog have to be on lead"

I want to see family - not their dogs. Why can't the dogs just stay at home ...............

We love our pets but we don't want to take them everywhere with us.

OP posts:
Original poster
CrystalE · 21/05/2021 01:55

They are family. Not just friends. My DCs especially would like to see their DCs.

OP posts:
NiceGerbil · 21/05/2021 01:59

Oh family? Sorry.

Agree with pp just say non dog friendly things.

Have you actually said to them look I'd rather meet up without the dog as its just different and I'd like to spend time with you without distractions...?

KaleSlayer · 21/05/2021 02:00

They are family. Not just friends. My DCs especially would like to see their DCs.

Well then if there is no compromise from their side, you have to decide what’s more important, your children’s wishes to see the other kids or your annoyance at the dogs being there.
If the dogs having to be there means you never get to do what you want to do, then I can see that would be annoying and I’d probably just see them less and still do the walk or whatever it is that you want to do on the other days. There has to be give and take in all relationships.

1forAll74 · 21/05/2021 02:10

You sound like a bundle of fun, I rather like the company of dogs, moreso than many people.. Would you also object to going for a walk,with a person who has a guide dog.. And what about me, could I bring my parrot along,. He doesn't chase sheep,or need a parrot bag, he just talks too much. !

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 21/05/2021 02:18

This is why I love cats. They don't have to go everywhere with you. They go where they want. I find the sight of animals being hauled about on leads bloody awful.

NiceGerbil · 21/05/2021 02:19

Well if you like dogs more than people (many people do!) then you're going to prioritise the dog over family friends etc. Which is fine obv! But then you may well not see some people nearly as much. Which is fine too!

youshallnotpass9 · 21/05/2021 02:56

I am not sure if you have said, but are there dogs that have been bought in the last 14 months?

I ask because our dog (8 years old, had for 8 years) got use to us not being here for up to four hours a day and suddenly we were here all the time and now we are starting to get back to normal, he is getting really anxious, so we are trying to do things were we either can take him with us or one of us stays with him if we are gone for longer than 20 minutes (at the moment) it is going to take us some time to get him back to his four hours

Mintjulia · 21/05/2021 03:04

It's a pain OP, I agree. I had exactly the same conversation when meeting a sister I hadn't seen for six months, it had to be somewhere with no farm animals, no water etc.
Thankfully my family have two dogs between seven households and both the dogs and the people are fairly flexible so there is usually someone willing to dog sit for a day (or a week).

redcarbluecar · 21/05/2021 03:28

I think dog owners’ lives ARE somewhat constrained by their dogs and they can’t always just be left at home. Bit of compromise called for, or don’t see the people.

Embracingthechaos · 21/05/2021 04:23

This is just how life goes. Some people have dogs, some people have kids, some are allergic to stuff, some need wheelchair access, some can't speak the language, some are too tall or fat to comfortably use certain facilities, some can't afford it, some need to park their massive vehicles... the list is endless.

If you are getting a group of people together then there will usually be constraints and complications that you don't have to deal with when you go alone or just with your partner. It is annoying but it is part of having a social life. It's up to you whether or not these people are worth the hassle.

amylou8 · 21/05/2021 04:59

Vegetarian pets due to environment concerns. Do you realise how much methane those little buggers expel eating all that cabbage 😂

TeddingtonTrashbag · 21/05/2021 05:10

Completely agree OP!
Now am unconstrained by young children would love just to meet up spontaneously anywhere but since lockdown everyone now has a dog and the dog dictates events.

SmiledWithTheRisingSun · 21/05/2021 05:47

Jeeze you are a bundle of joy aren't you op?! Hmm

blueangel19 · 21/05/2021 05:56

Vegetarian pets. WTF

Dazzylazzy · 21/05/2021 05:58

I think part of the problem is you are suggesting long activities not so much the lunch I wouldn’t take my dogs out for lunch that’s more hassle than I need. But a long walk or a beach day are long events so either the dogs can’t be left for that long which is understandable, or if it’s an hour or twos walk then you have to go home and go for another hour long walk. My DC happily walk but not to come home and walk again!

blueangel19 · 21/05/2021 05:59

Suddenly many people are vegetarian so annoying to accommodate them. I love BBQs and Sunday roast. I would happily swap those vegetarians for dogs any day.

8monthsinandcranky · 21/05/2021 06:06

Honestly this irritates me too Hmm lockdown seems to have massively encouraged people to treat dogs like they’re children and expect people to award the same level of importance to them.

Animals are not people!! I’m a massive animal lover but seriously they are not to be made the centre of plans, dictate events or be included on every lunch/day out. I don’t even expect that for my toddler Hmm although do try to include them where possible given no one saw them for over a year and they are their family.

MIL’s life is ran by her very old and unwell pet and it’s so hard to deal with as she’s currently suffering awful MH, reached out for help and whilst we are very keen to help and would happily have her move in with us we simply can’t accommodate this high needs animal but she obviously won’t leave the pet. Total catch 22.

InTheNightWeWillWish · 21/05/2021 06:09

If you’re just suggesting a lunch and it’s local, I don’t need to bring my dogs. If you’re suggesting a place that I need to drive an hour to, then a country walk, then a lunch, then an drive home, in either going to want to bring my dogs or they need to go to daycare. If the dogs go to daycare, that’s an additional cost to seeing you on top of the parking, lunch and petrol. It may make the day unaffordable. Even if I can get away with not sending three to daycare, I have to come home from a country walk and big pub lunch to excited dogs in need of walk.

All the activities you are suggesting, I would do with my dogs without meeting someone else. So those things are dog related activities. I have friends who are OK with or love dogs and I have friends who aren’t ok with dogs. I wouldn’t bring my dog on a walk with someone who wasn’t ok with dogs but I’m also not going to be able to spend all day with them, it needs to be shorter activities.

Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 21/05/2021 06:09

Yeah-totally agree. Am allergic to dogs and have no interest in poorly trained jumpy barky animals that shit everywhere, lick everything and slobber over you. People don’t just have one but three massive dogs. Hopefully this fashion for multiple dogs will die off. The government needs to regulate dogs in the workplace (except where working dogs) and inside pubs and cafes (except assistance dogs) and life can go back to normal. My husband was in a pub where dogs were allowed and had a dog shove his face into his food. Should be able to go about without dogs and their sometimes feckless grinning (but he is friendly) or downright nasty owners impacting on my health and well-being.

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 21/05/2021 06:13

It didn't take long for people to compare having a dog to
A. Having a child
B. Being disabled

It's like the Twilight Zone on here sometimes

AlmostSummer21 · 21/05/2021 06:17

Why on Earth would you expect someone with a dog, to go out for the day on a walk, without their dog?

It's a walk, not afternoon tea at a swanky hotel.

Personally I'd rather meet up with my brothers dog, than my brother

AlmostSummer21 · 21/05/2021 06:20

@Ritasueandbobtoo9

Yeah-totally agree. Am allergic to dogs and have no interest in poorly trained jumpy barky animals that shit everywhere, lick everything and slobber over you. People don’t just have one but three massive dogs. Hopefully this fashion for multiple dogs will die off. The government needs to regulate dogs in the workplace (except where working dogs) and inside pubs and cafes (except assistance dogs) and life can go back to normal. My husband was in a pub where dogs were allowed and had a dog shove his face into his food. Should be able to go about without dogs and their sometimes feckless grinning (but he is friendly) or downright nasty owners impacting on my health and well-being.
No. We do not need the Govt to regulate. Pubs etc can choose for themselves whether they're dog friendly or not. Just ask if dogs are allowed or not before you book - it's not difficult.
drpet49 · 21/05/2021 06:25

* We don't have them because of environmental concerns - we have vegetarian pets.*

^You have children so you aren’t bothered by environmental problems really are you.

Sparklingbrook · 21/05/2021 06:34

Why on Earth would you expect someone with a dog, to go out for the day on a walk, without their dog?

It's a walk, not afternoon tea at a swanky hotel

If it's just a walk then fine as long as I don't have to have anything to do with the dog. It's the options for eating afterwards. Looking for 'dog friendly' places where there's lots of other dogs. It certainly does rule out afternoon tea at a swanky hotel and a lot of really nice places to eat...

BananasAreEvil · 21/05/2021 06:34

I like dogs even though I don't own one. However, if I want to see a friend and have a proper chat, I find the presence of a dog can often take over the dynamics. My friend won't be as attentive to me (rightly so), I'll be in the middle of a sentence and suddenly my friend will screech in my ear to try and stop their dog from eating other people's picnic, the flow of the conversation will be constantly interrupted, etc.

So I just adjust my expectations. If I just fancy a quick catch up and a walk, then I am more than happy to do a dog walk with my friend. If I want a proper chat and feel like I want to be heard and not be limited by the presence of a dog, then I won't meet a friend with a dog.

Dogs are never 'just dogs' to their owners, they're beloved members of their families, and rightly so.