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Original poster

would you give them the money?

139 replies

henryagm · 19/05/2021 18:42

NC for obvious reasons.

My sister and BIL recently both made redundant. It is very hard to find jobs in their sector. They are looking. They’ve asked me to help pay their mortgage, the majority of it, while they look for work. Realistically it could be a year before anything comes up. They are looking for other jobs too but because of where they are trained it is not as easy as just going into any other area, even no skill jobs are hard to come by where they live very remote).

They was 650 a month. My take home is around 3,200. They know this.

What would you do? I feel conflicted as I do have the spare cash but obviously this is quite a hefty sum. There’s no way they could pay it back and if they did it would be a long time.

OP posts:
Original poster
henryagm · 19/05/2021 18:43

They want*

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 19/05/2021 18:45

Uh NO!

HollowTalk · 19/05/2021 18:46

Did they get a redundancy pay out?

Original poster
henryagm · 19/05/2021 18:46

Yes but tiny amount.

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 19/05/2021 18:46

I think you share too much info with them if they know exactly how much you take home.

AnxiousFTMFriendlyAdvicePlease · 19/05/2021 18:47

It’s cliche advice but never give any money if you are expecting it back only give what you can afford to lose and treat it like a gift.
Have they tried looking to see if they are entitled to any benefits? It is a lot of money to expect you to pay out each month.

Atalantea · 19/05/2021 18:47

They need to get jobs outside their training

huuuuunnnndderrricks · 19/05/2021 18:47

Not your problem , they will have to sell and downsize if they can't get work ! Some people are cheeky feckers ! 🙄

stairgates · 19/05/2021 18:47

If you do go ahead and want it back get something written up between you incase it turns sour.

Gem176 · 19/05/2021 18:47

Suppose it depends on what your disposable income is more than what your take home is.

If you have what they are asking easily left over each month without going short anywhere yourself then, for a sibling, I would. I'd stipulate a set amount of time. Say 6 months to allow them some breathing space without worrying about losing their home. This would be with no expectation of being paid back. Hence why I'd only do it if I could easily afford it.

MadeForThis · 19/05/2021 18:48

Only if you can spare the cash. And strictly as a loan.

huuuuunnnndderrricks · 19/05/2021 18:48

They can work in Tesco or cleaning etc to earn enough to pay that !!

Allllchange · 19/05/2021 18:48

They can take a six month mortgage payment first? When that is over then consider whether you can help and whether you want it repaying and what the conditions of that will be (in writing). I would rather help than family lose their home but not if they were taking advantage or forcing me.

MadMadMadamMim · 19/05/2021 18:48

Not a chance. I'm sorry they are out of work and struggling. I wouldn't commit myself to paying someone else's mortgage for them, on top of my own. Presumably any 'extra' money you have goes into savings for precisely this type of scenario.

I would never expect anyone else to pay my mortgage for me (or financially support me in any way). They will need to look for other options.

SkyeIsPink · 19/05/2021 18:48

That is a really long term commitment and a lot of money. I wouldn’t do it tbh.

Can get they get a lodger in?

If they were made redundant, didn’t they get redundancy pay? Also, they might be eligible for benefits.

Just because you earn a lot of money doesn’t mean you should do this. Only do it if you really want to and can afford to lose it.

Original poster
henryagm · 19/05/2021 18:49

I’d be left with around 1,000 spare cash if I did it. So I feel a bit mean not doing it but also feel it is a lot. I will have to save for holidays etc rather than just use take home pay. Which I know compared to losing a home is nothing. Just conflicted.

OP posts:
Aurorie11 · 19/05/2021 18:49

No, assume they have redundancy payout and should use that. Also they should be looking for any job, I was made redundant late last year earn about 40% of what I did before. Still looking for another job but this brings in money for now

SnarkyBag · 19/05/2021 18:49

They need to broaden their job search and take anything they can to pay the bills. I wouldn’t agree to pay the mortgage

Dugee · 19/05/2021 18:50

@henryagm

NC for obvious reasons.

My sister and BIL recently both made redundant. It is very hard to find jobs in their sector. They are looking. They’ve asked me to help pay their mortgage, the majority of it, while they look for work. Realistically it could be a year before anything comes up. They are looking for other jobs too but because of where they are trained it is not as easy as just going into any other area, even no skill jobs are hard to come by where they live very remote).

They was 650 a month. My take home is around 3,200. They know this.

What would you do? I feel conflicted as I do have the spare cash but obviously this is quite a hefty sum. There’s no way they could pay it back and if they did it would be a long time.

Why can't they just take a mortgage holiday?
HollowTalk · 19/05/2021 18:51

If you do it for your sister, that's one thing, but for your BIL? That is really cheeky. And why is the job hunt going to take a year? Why are they going to be more employable in a year's time than they are now?

1vandal2 · 19/05/2021 18:52

Just no.

WhoEatsPopTarts · 19/05/2021 18:52

My 18 year old works part time in a pub and earns more than that a month, they should get any job going.

DancesWithDaffodils · 19/05/2021 18:52

You think it will take a year at 650/month.
Can you afford to, and are you prepared to, basically give them £8000.
If yes, by all means go ahead. If that is too much to give to family, you have to decline,

Orangebug · 19/05/2021 18:52

I think a strict 6 month period would be a good compromise. That gives them time to look into downsizing as well as getting new jobs. And make it clear that you mean it. NO to an open ended arrangement.

That is assuming that you have a good relationship with them and you feel that your sister would do the same for you if the situation was reversed and you don't have an urgent need for the money. If any of these don't apply, feel free just to say no.

NoSquirrels · 19/05/2021 18:53

If where they live is very remote and any jobs are hard to come by, even low-paid unskilled work, and they’re both looking for employment, then it sounds like they’d be better off selling and moving.

There needs to be a longer-term plan on a formal basis. I don’t think committing to paying the mortgage indefinitely is a good idea, even for family.

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