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Original poster

would you give them the money?

139 replies

henryagm · 19/05/2021 18:42

NC for obvious reasons.

My sister and BIL recently both made redundant. It is very hard to find jobs in their sector. They are looking. They’ve asked me to help pay their mortgage, the majority of it, while they look for work. Realistically it could be a year before anything comes up. They are looking for other jobs too but because of where they are trained it is not as easy as just going into any other area, even no skill jobs are hard to come by where they live very remote).

They was 650 a month. My take home is around 3,200. They know this.

What would you do? I feel conflicted as I do have the spare cash but obviously this is quite a hefty sum. There’s no way they could pay it back and if they did it would be a long time.

OP posts:

osbertthesyrianhamster · 19/05/2021 19:10

NO. No way, not on that level of pay. They've got more front than Tesco's to ask you that. CFers.

Cotswoldmama · 19/05/2021 19:11

No way. I would never ask that of anyone however much money they had! I would do any temp job I could find and if it came to it sell my house!

WorkingItOutAsIGo · 19/05/2021 19:13

I would do it for my child, but not my sister.

And if I did do it, I would do it in such a way that I wasn’t encouraging them to take the piss - proper paperwork, repayment plan, etc. Otherwise they have little incentive to stop using your money.

worrybutterfly · 19/05/2021 19:15

Can they talk to their mortgage company about moving to an interest only mortgage? The monthly costs will be much lower, meaning they should be able to afford it themselves.

If you want to help out and there is a charge to change/move mortgage then you could offer to pay it. At least that way you know it's not a monthly payment that could drag on for ages.

ItsSnowJokes · 19/05/2021 19:16

I got made redundant in January, I worked in a role that was quite unique. I am now in a shitty admin role that I hate to keep a roof over my head and pay my bills without asking anyone for help. They need to take any job they can get and not hold out for a year while others subsidise them.

DurhamDurham · 19/05/2021 19:17

I wouldn't do it, I mean there's no end date, it could on for ages and at what point do you say 'enough'?
I'd help out financially and with some one off gifts but I absolutely wouldn't be paying their mortgage. They'll have to accept any work to pay their bills if they want to keep their house. Night shift in supermarkets, bar work etc

EmeraldShamrock · 19/05/2021 19:19

Let them speak to their mortgage advisors.
Personally I think it's a big ask of anyone and you wage isn't so high that you could squeeze an extra mortgage payment.
If you have it separate in savings I'd do 6 month max.
Let them get another job in the meantime, do deliveries, residential cleaning, like lots of us have to do they're a bit C.F imo.

Blankspace101 · 19/05/2021 19:21

Just because you can afford it doesn’t mean you should do it. There are plenty of things that I can afford but choose not to do.

celandiney · 19/05/2021 19:21

@huuuuunnnndderrricks

They can work in Tesco or cleaning etc to earn enough to pay that !!

If they can get jobs in Tesco or cleaning,there will be competition...

Di11y · 19/05/2021 19:21

I'd second asking them to take a mortgage holiday. if they have no income I don't see how they're going to pay you back.

Moondust001 · 19/05/2021 19:23

No. They need to get a mortgage holiday. This is good money after bad- if they don't get jobs then you money is smoke. It's sad for them, but that's life. You could just as easily be out of work in a month or two. Will they be paying for you then?

MapleMay11 · 19/05/2021 19:27

I would definitely for an agreed period and wouldn't expect them to pay the money back as they are family and these are exceptional circumstances. However, it depends on your financial situation. £3.2k take home is not that high, so you may feel over stretched unless you are mortgage/rent free with few outgoings.

Blossomtoes · 19/05/2021 19:28

I’d do it with a time plan for repayment agreed and a signed contract. I couldn’t see someone I love lose their home if I was in a position to help them.

lastqueenofscotland · 19/05/2021 19:29

Absolutely not no. I don’t think you’d ever see it back either

Zenithbear · 19/05/2021 19:31

No chance.
People who ask for big money favours imo are cheeky fuckers with no intention of ever paying back.
Most people get any job to pay their way and suck it up until they get sorted and don't eye up other's incomes, family or not.
It's enabling, it only encourages them to get comfortable to come back again.

Shivvy1 · 19/05/2021 19:35

@Gem176

Suppose it depends on what your disposable income is more than what your take home is.

If you have what they are asking easily left over each month without going short anywhere yourself then, for a sibling, I would. I'd stipulate a set amount of time. Say 6 months to allow them some breathing space without worrying about losing their home. This would be with no expectation of being paid back. Hence why I'd only do it if I could easily afford it.

I agree with this and would put a time limit on it or they'll take forever waiting to get the right job. Once back on their feet I would hope that they paid me back as well x

HollowTalk · 19/05/2021 19:35

Ask yourself this. Would your BIL pay your mortgage for you, for an indefinite period of time?

RaiseTheBeastie · 19/05/2021 19:36

Fuck that. They're not even asking for a loan really - just asking you to cover their main outgoing for an indeterminate period.

If it was my sister then I'd say that I'd lend them £2k as a one off loan, so they've enough to cover 3 months of payments whilst they find other work. To be paid back at a pre agreed amount when they've found work. 3 months is plenty of time for one or both of them to find work.

I wouldn't commit to covering any amount for anyone for an indeterminate period though!

HollowTalk · 19/05/2021 19:38

They live in an area where there's no work. They work in an area where there are few jobs. They really need to have a long look at what they're going to do - you can't be expected to stick a plaster on this.

TheQueef · 19/05/2021 19:39

It won't end well.
They have other choices, this will only cause problems sooner or later.

Actuallyabitgreynow · 19/05/2021 19:41

I can't imagine having over 1.5k disposable income every month and watching my sibling lose their house for the sake of less than half that amount.

I would absolutely do it for a set amount of time.

MrsLCSofLichfield · 19/05/2021 19:43

As others have said, they need to ask their mortgage lender for a payment holiday, if they haven't already done so. The FCA has told lenders they should consider up to 6 months - interest will still accrue but they won't record it as arrears or an arrangement on their credit files. If they've exhausted payment holidays they need to ask for alternatives e.g. a temporary period of interest only, extending the mortgage term, time to sell up.

I would also agree with others who have said that if you agree to help you need to be prepared to write this money off, and I probably wouldn't do it for longer than 6 months either.

MrsLCSofLichfield · 19/05/2021 19:45

...and they need to claim Universal Credit, if they aren't already doing so.

SpeakingFranglais · 19/05/2021 19:45

I would offer three months only but make it clear they need to be 100% looking for any job as well as looking into mortgage breaks etc

Georgyporky · 19/05/2021 19:45

I would not - because I did it once & the family CFers took me for a ride & I was very out-of-pocket.
BUT, if you do it, I suggest a solicitor draws up an agreement regarding payments etc, & possibly the property reverting to you if they CBA to get any form of employment.

There must be jobs they can both do to service such a tiny mortgage between them - or is charring & delivery-driving beneath them?

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