Does it make someone a LGBTQ ally if they wear the pride lanyard but object when a transgender person uses their restroom ?

[thecatmother]

In my workplace we are very open and inclusive and many colleagues chose to wear their IDs on the Pride lanyards and are very active participants in all the Pride related events.
So far so peaceful, or so I thought, we had a new colleague joining recently, it is a lady who is transitioning from being born a man. She is very polite and just gets on with her work and day. I wasn't surprised to see her using the Ladies, unfortunately a number of my colleagues have formed an opinion about that. The management has been supporting the new colleague, and they held "conversations " with the complaining parties.
However, those people are still wearing their Pride lanyards, I can't get my head around that. The lanyards are purely on volunteer basis, we have generic ones. I generally wonder whether they actually realise that being an ally is not about getting drunk on Pride , but actually to be supportive to the people of LGBTQ.

@ElaborateSalad

I fucking hate the anti-trans brigade on mumsnet.

Oh dear. What a shame. Never mind.

Just because a person holds a view does not mean that they are anti, it means they are pro something.

I think you mean : you hate those women that support other women's rights and won't be told what to think despite me calling them names....

Thankfully the Disabled toilets (depicting someone in a wheelchair - needs to be changed I think) were changed to Accessible toilets so that anyone could use them.

I'm disabled. I'm fed up of having to give spaces away that were fought long and hard for. Just thought I'd mention that, because perhaps you think we're all fine with this. We're not.

She is NOT male, only in the physical form.

It’s that physical form that is the rub.

Thankfully the Disabled toilets (depicting someone in a wheelchair - needs to be changed I think) were changed to Accessible toilets so that anyone could use them.

How lovely for the disabled users 🙄

Thankfully the Disabled toilets (depicting someone in a wheelchair - needs to be changed I think) were changed to Accessible toilets so that anyone could use them.

Not the answer at all. The accessible toilets need to be available for those that need the additional features and facilities, not any random person.

So as a disabled female, I've been doubly shat on. AND I'M NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT.

So as a disabled female, I've been doubly shat on. AND I'M NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT.

I would still wear the lanyard to show my support towards lesbian women.
The same women who are now told that they must date transwomen with a penis or else they’re transphobic with all the consequences that come with that, these days.

“She is NOT male, only in the physical form.”

What other forms of male are there exactly? Astrophysically male? Transsubstantially male? I wear pyjamas instead of a nighty male?

@Unicorn34

From living with my born-female child while they started their transition to male (which actually didn't happen in the end as they now know they are non-binary) I can fully appreciate this lady's need to use the ladies toilets. She is NOT male, only in the physical form. It is a very difficult situation and when I brought this up in the LGBTQ+ meetings at work, was something they had not realised. Thankfully the Disabled toilets (depicting someone in a wheelchair - needs to be changed I think) were changed to Accessible toilets so that anyone could use them.

The new lady IS a lady - NOT a man. I am unsure about the lanyard thing, its a bit superficial to be honest. Many people believe that supporting LGBTQ+ and Pride is a must and they should be seen doing it. The real support is acceptance of peoples choices and differences without the need to wear a badge.

Of course they are a man. Feeing like a woman does not make it so. Act and dress how you like but males cannot gain access to female spaces based on how they feel, women absolutely have the right to speak up on this.

She is NOT male, only in the physical form

In day to day life, though, we are usually dealing with the physical form rather than a metaphysical or religious form - we don't make laws about souls and spirits but about human beings, which are male and female. We can't really interact with others on the basis of their religious beliefs as there are just so many varied ones and they don't all align with each other. We have to base our policies and rules on material reality.

Being disabled is not a choice - relabelling those is not in my view appropriate. Choosing say you identify as female a female which is different from birth or vice versa is a choice. Toliets and changing rooms are places which people have to use they don't have a choice.

I am open mouthed at some of the comments on here - looking mainly (but not only) at you @FelicityBeedle and your disgusting tattoo comment.
Personally, in the past I was never too fussed about transwomen in toilets but I appreciate that my opinion isn't the only one that counts and many women are fussed about it. I have no right to discount those women to make a male born person feel comfortable. Now with the whole "anybody is who they say they are" shit I do object to transwomen using female toilets.

The problem with TWAW is that you have to accept that they are women in every single situation not just in public toilets. That means women's prisons, sports, rape crisis centres, domestic violence refuges, all women short lists etc etc. And that can only be harmful to women.

So trans can identify in to the disabled loos. Shame people with disabilities can’t identity out of needing the disabled loos.

She is NOT male, only in the physical form.

and female toilets are for females, not males.

Thankfully the Disabled toilets (depicting someone in a wheelchair - needs to be changed I think) were changed to Accessible toilets so that anyone could use them.

How fucking progressive stripping away facilities for disabled people and denying them of their access and rights under the Equality Act which deems disability as a protected characteristic.

TRA's and their allies just shit on anyone and everyone FromHere, they don't give a toss about the protected characteristics of other people.

Toilets are segregated by sex.
Not by sexuality, shoe size or gender identity.
(They can't possibly be segregated by gender identity as there are more than 2 gender identities.)

Yes, the "thankfully" the disabled toilets have been done away with was a bit of a shocking comment.

The new lady IS a lady - NOT a man.

People really cannot change sex and toilets are NOT gendered. They are for the needs of people of that sex. Therefore female toilets are for the needs of females including for privacy.

Regarding safety, including from sexual abuses such as voyeurism, does any person advocating for female toilets to be opened to a subset of males have any statistics to prove that transitioning removes the male propensity for male crimes? Any at all?

And if not, why do you believe you have any right to shame others who wish to retain single sex spaces. Not 'gender' spaces.

I am a woman and am dead against anybody that isn't a woman being allowed into my seed protected spaces.

I was groomed as a child, repeatedly raped, beaten and raped by my first serious boy friend and generally just treated like shit by the men in my first 25 years.

I've got my knickers around my ankles and I'm struggling to change my mooncup, my hands are covered in blood (thanks fibroids!) and in the next stall I hear a male voice. Or a urine stream from what is clearly not a seated position. Do people have any idea how vulnerable that can make some people feel? The dry mouth, heart racing , hot stomach twist of anxiety and impending stress diahrea of feeling exposed with an unknown, unquantifiable risk in the next cubicle. And when I have finally managed to sort my moon cup out I've then got to stand at the sinks washing blood off my hands while I worry I'm going to be called transphobic for "triggering" a man that is sad they don't have the privilege of being able to menstruate.

Men, even ones in dresses that FEEL wimminy - belong in the men's toilets. Or the gender neutral toilets. Or even the disabled toilets. But not ever in the women's. And your work place is very likely breaking the law by allowing a man into a sex protected space.

[quote FelicityBeedle]@HermioneWeasley In this case it seems to be a woman daring to use a (presumably cubicled) bathroom. Why don’t you care about this woman’s safety in having to use the men’s toilets? Also don’t call someone people who identify (and are!) women male, it’s rude and I don’t believe MNHQ approve either[/quote]
If men pose a risk to the (trans identified) man that claims to be a women, why should women allow that (trans identified) man into their spaces? People with male dna don't announce that they are rapists, abusers etc so why is that one person less likely to be one simply because they present in women's clothing?

From living with my born-female child while they started their transition to male (which actually didn't happen in the end as they now know they are non-binary

So are they male or female? It's not possible to not be either, biologically. People with sex characteristics more usually associated with the opposite sex have a medical condition caused by sex development issues in utero.

Not adhering to sexist stereotypes or thinking you're not like other girls or young women doesn't make your female child male, and it doesn't make your female child not fully female.

Well described @ChiefBabySniffer and I’m sorry about what happened to you