Does it make someone a LGBTQ ally if they wear the pride lanyard but object when a transgender person uses their restroom ?

[thecatmother]

In my workplace we are very open and inclusive and many colleagues chose to wear their IDs on the Pride lanyards and are very active participants in all the Pride related events.
So far so peaceful, or so I thought, we had a new colleague joining recently, it is a lady who is transitioning from being born a man. She is very polite and just gets on with her work and day. I wasn't surprised to see her using the Ladies, unfortunately a number of my colleagues have formed an opinion about that. The management has been supporting the new colleague, and they held "conversations " with the complaining parties.
However, those people are still wearing their Pride lanyards, I can't get my head around that. The lanyards are purely on volunteer basis, we have generic ones. I generally wonder whether they actually realise that being an ally is not about getting drunk on Pride , but actually to be supportive to the people of LGBTQ.

I’m not sure why the TW’s feelings trump the feelings of the women who have been to management about their worries? You have made judgments about these women for wearing a rainbow lanyard without asking why?

@Gumbomambo

I’m not sure why the TW’s feelings trump the feelings of the women who have been to management about their worries? You have made judgments about these women for wearing a rainbow lanyard without asking why?

Because males’ feelings take priority. Always.

I don’t understand how people can use the argument that the trans person is unsafe in the men’s changing room whilst simultaneously arguing that all trans women are not dangerous to women in the ladies. You don’t know that.

It’s just the assumption that we have to protect the trans women from the men. As they can’t possibly be expected to just behave themselves. So we are going to pass the problem on to women and people that use the ladies to deal with.

@MNHQ
The biscuit/flower/breast emoji still seems to be an option in the emoji section. Can you provide clarification of whether we will be deleted for using it and an explanation as to why a poster has been deleted for using it. As someone who likes to stay within talk guidelines but uses this emoji which you provide, I’m very confused.
Much appreciated. (Using as a flower there)

[quote Waitwhat23]@asofanearyou. I agree with you about the bullish behaviour. I too started off as a supporter/ally and found myself being thoroughly put off by TRA's language and behaviour towards anyone who didn't give unquestioned, complete agreement. The response to JKR's thoughtful, balanced essay was an eye opener for me.

Women being 'educated' into the 'right' behaviour, particularly in the work place where they can't object without fear of losing their job or being labelled 'difficult' is chilling. There are so many reasons why single sex spaces are important![/quote]
I had much the same experience! I've been left wing all my life and believed, and still do believe, in kindness towards trans people, and support in preventing them being discriminated against. The JKR essay was a turning point for me. Here was a woman calmly and considerately laying out several very valid points about the impact policies to do with single sex spaces and self ID have on women - something that any self respecting "progressive" person who cares about the welfare of all vulnerable groups should be concerned about - and the response was so vitriolic and unconcerned by what she had actually said, that it became very apparent to me how inconvenient these people find considering women alongside considering trans people. How quickly feminism is swept away when there is a new, hotter topic.

Since then all I have seen is silencing of women that talk about what is happening TO THEM, often ironically, by straight white males who think they are being the height of progressive, but haven't thought about the fact that it's their privilege that means they don't have to think about these concerns. Even women who, from a balanced point of view, don't say anything that could be construed as genuinely transphobic, people who say all the "right" things about trans women being women and not themselves being a threat, but just want to discuss the risk to women from other males as a result of these policies are immediately attacked and socially banished as bigoted.

And now we have well meaning people like OP who admit they know little about this topic, perpetuating this behaviour as though it is not only unquestionably right, but admirable. It's scary stuff.

[quote KaleSlayer]@MNHQ
The biscuit/flower/breast emoji still seems to be an option in the emoji section. Can you provide clarification of whether we will be deleted for using it and an explanation as to why a poster has been deleted for using it. As someone who likes to stay within talk guidelines but uses this emoji which you provide, I’m very confused.
Much appreciated. (Using as a flower there)[/quote]
I was just thinking of asking the question on site stuff...

A lot of people come along and ask 'innocent' questions

I’d wear the lanyard. I support trans people having sex based rights just like everyone else.

[quote FelicityBeedle]@HermioneWeasley In this case it seems to be a woman daring to use a (presumably cubicled) bathroom. Why don’t you care about this woman’s safety in having to use the men’s toilets? Also don’t call someone people who identify (and are!) women male, it’s rude and I don’t believe MNHQ approve either[/quote]
Funny how they were perfectly safe using the men's toilets previously.
The men are also work colleagues who know this person are you seriously saying that all the men at this workplace are going to turn violent because a male colleague who now identifies as a woman is in their toilet? I mean seriously? The only reason the TW wants to use the female toilets is for validation it has nothing to do with their perceived safety and they don't give a flying fuck how the women who want single sex spaces for their safety, privacy and dignity feel.

This oh so inclusive agenda persistently, wilfully and deliberately excludes swathes of woman - adult human females who are the only people the term woman refers to.

I wonder why the OPs management are not supporting all the lesbian gay and bi staff who do not want to share communal toilets with the opposite sex?

What about those who object for religious or cultural reasons ?

The management and the OP don’t sound very kind or inclusive to me.

I fucking hate the anti-trans brigade on mumsnet.

It is interesting how protecting womens sex based rights is seen by some to be anti trans. When people are suggesting perfectly good solutions to the problem. That would suit everybody and protect womens single sex spaces which we need as history has shown they are there for a reason.

I fucking hate the anti-trans brigade on mumsnet.

Show me this brigade and I’ll join you in reporting. I just haven’t seen them yet. 👀 (really hoping eyes emoji is still ok to use)

@ElaborateSalad

I fucking hate the anti-trans brigade on mumsnet.

It’s so funny how we’re the ones accused of hate for saying “no” to males yet the “kind”ones can literally admit to their hatred of non-compliant women and still think they’re in the right.

@ElaborateSalad

I fucking hate the anti-trans brigade on mumsnet.

No one gives a fuck.

@KaleSlayer

I fucking hate the anti-trans brigade on mumsnet.

Show me this brigade and I’ll join you in reporting. I just haven’t seen them yet. 👀 (really hoping eyes emoji is still ok to use)

I’m not sure its safe

Biscuit used to mean no comment....and now it means something bad enough to be deleted, may ‘fuck off and die’ something like that

Fuck knows what eyes mean 😩

Good point alltheusernames

It proves the point how little women are allowed to say when a jammy dodger is deleted. But someone saying I fucking hate the anti-trans brigade on mumsnet is absolutely fine.

Lgbt was always a silly conflation.

I agree. But it was certainly a very clever move to get that ‘T’ added in there. And now women are being punished for this ‘oh so inclusive’ little letter. Very clever indeed.

It proves the point how little women are allowed to say when a jammy dodger is deleted.

Absolutely. I’ve seen some things deleted on here, actual words and sentences, that I didn’t understand the reason behind being deleted. But to delete an emoji, as silly as it sounds, it shows we are heading in an even more disturbing direction that I thought.

*than I thought

The men are also work colleagues who know this person are you seriously saying that all the men at this workplace are going to turn violent because a male colleague who now identifies as a woman is in their toilet? I mean seriously?

It seems that this is exactly what some posters are saying or at least alluding to.

But then, 'safety' can also refer to having a mental health 'safe space'. And it also seems that any other female staff member's mental health should be denied according to OP.

Really glad that I don’t have to wear a rainbow lanyard for this reason.... does NOT wearing one in workplaces that require you to wear one get interpreted as being ANTI alphabet soup???

@ElaborateSalad

I fucking hate the anti-trans brigade on mumsnet.

I fucking hate the anti women's rights brigade.