Would you do this with your child?

[treesmight]

Would you leave 14/15 year old child alone at home for a week with food in fridge, some money and in a safe village/area? There’s a local shop with food a five minute walk away.

A weekend yes, a week no.

No

At 16, my parents would sometimes stay out overnight if they had a work dinner, but a whole week? Definitely not, and certainly not at 14/15.

@Ninibest

No, few hours in a day time is acceptable. I wouldn't leave my 15 year old alone after 8pm

You're kidding right?

If your child is NT, that's nuts

@treesmight

Absolutely not. At 15, at a push overnight, weekend, but not for a week

NO.

Under 16's should not be left home alone

What, at all? That's insane. As is not leaving a 15 year old after 8pm.

How badly did y'all raise your kids if you are terrified of leaving them alone when they're almost old enough to leave home?

No. Besides everything else, someone might find out that they're home alone and target them. At least if you leave them for a few hours or overnight, you can tell them not to go out or answer the door.

No, definitely not!

I wouldn’t have done it with my daughter but my son at 14/15 would have been fine and my dad, his grandad would have called round every day.

That was years ago though and things are different now so I wouldn’t advise it.

How badly did y'all raise your kids if you are terrified of leaving them alone when they're almost old enough to leave home?

I wouldn't be terrified of leaving them alone because of what they might do. I'd be terrified of leaving them alone because of what other people might do to them.

That said, if I had multiple teens (as opposed to one teenage girl), I'd feel much more relaxed leaving them overnight or for a few hours. I probably wouldn't leave one lone teen overnight if I could help it.

No way.

Thanks for replies. I didn’t mean to drip feed but have had therapy recently and this came up. My therapist was shocked. My parents would do this and later claim I didn’t want to go away with them and there was ‘nothing they could do.’ I didn’t want to go with them as they would take my sibling on higher education/advanced learner holidays. It was horrendously boring and I resented it so would make a fuss about going. They’d just leave money and food and go without me.

Sorry meant to add that I argued with my therapist a bit about it and defended them and wondered if the therapist was just stirring things I guess...I feel horrible and it’s been hard talking about it.

No absolutely not. Mine sometimes has to stay home alone during the day if I'm working but we are in contact a lot and she is quite sensible. Theres no way she would want to stay home alone during the night, she'd be so scared and I fear she will be living at home for quite a few years to come :)

Of course not! What an awful thing to even consider.

I wouldn't be terrified of leaving them alone because of what they might do. I'd be terrified of leaving them alone because of what other people might do to them

That doesn;t make any sense. If your child is at risk it is when they are out of the house, with boyfriends, with friends and with strangers. Statistically they are at risk at home with their male relatives. At home alone what risk are they at? What do you imagine might happen?

What era was this? In the 1980s/early 90s this would be have acceptable to many people.

It was around 2005 I think it would have been.

Sorry, I just read your messages above and realized it was something your parents had done to you. I'm sorry to hear you had to go through that. It's definitely not right.

Well, your update makes it clear that this was at some point in the past, and that the cause was because you refused to go on holiday with your parents and sibling because you didn't like the type of holiday they were going on, and that as you defended your parents to your therapist, you presumably don't feel this was unduly neglectful or dangerous?

Were you actually afraid or lonely, given that several posters have said their children of the same age would be? And if you were, did this situation happy, as you seem to suggest, more than once?

Sorry, did this situation HAPPEN more than once?

My parents left me at 15 and went on holiday with younger siblings. I didn’t want to go away with them as the holiday was in the UK at a holiday park. I loved the quiet and felt quiet important and grown up having the Tv and the house to myself but I also think I felt slightly sad occasionally that I was on my own. Although I now have a 16 and 17 year old and I am still debating about whether or not to leave them at home for 1 night in the summer so DH and I can have a night away for my birthday.

@Fitforforty

What era was this? In the 1980s/early 90s this would be have acceptable to many people.

That’s a good point. Times change. Late 80s when I was 15 and then 16 my parents left me for a week to go on summer holiday abroad.

I didn’t like it though. I liked the idea of it and bragged to my friends but in the house alone I felt lonely and vulnerable, particularly at night, which is probably why I wouldn’t consider it for my kids.

OP, that's just neglect. I hope you were smart enough to keep being home alone under wraps or god knows what they could have come back to. There were lots of predatory people around even when we were growing up.

To give my experience, there were three of us teens at home and my parents would leave us home alone together for the occasional overnight once my older brother turned 16. They'd leave one teen at home alone during the day from about age 13 (for example, if they were off sick from school) but with strict instructions not to answer the door.