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Mil mostly feeding toddler soup

129 replies

BountyIsUnderrated · 28/04/2021 10:28

Just wanted to rant really but not give too much detail away as it might be outing.
Basically my nearly 1 year old is being looked after once a week by mil for a whole day, which we are both grateful for as it saves us a lot of money, but there's one thing that really grinds my gears. . She mainly feeds him just soup and avocado's every time he's there.

I wouldn't have a problem with this but it really upsets his tummy and gives him diarrhea, I think because he's not having enough solid food that day as he's fine the rest of the week.
Dh has already brought this up once before.. She's very peculiar about food as she has gluten intolerance and an autoimmune condition so thinks wheat is bad, potatoes are bad, cereals etc anything not organic is full of 'toxins' and and she's just been getting worse.

She also says nursery just feeds him crap when I actually think it looks pretty healthy, chicken dinners, pasta nutritious food, more nutrious then her just giving him the same stuff every week.
She is generally quite nice but very stubborn in her ways, not sure what to do about it really, but like I said it upsets his tummy and gives him runny poos to be fed mostly soup (and I have to deal with the end result!). Sad

OP posts:
DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 28/04/2021 10:32

Send him with packed lunch.

If eating soup once a week is making his stomach upset then maybe you should get him checked out though. He maybe has allergies.

Ginevere · 28/04/2021 10:32

This shouldn’t be just a ‘rant’ OP; if it’s upsetting your sons stomach then she needs to stop.

I’d make it very clear that if she doesn’t start feeding him correctly she can’t look after him anymore. I know it saves money but it’s about his health.

angelopal · 28/04/2021 10:33

Can you send a packed lunch and snacks for him so she doesn't need to give him anything else.

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SarahAndQuack · 28/04/2021 10:34

Oh, that's a bit grim. Are you sure it's the soup doing it? I suppose if I were her I'd be wondering how you knew it was that. I guess maybe soup is quite easy for her to make up, too. Can you make him a little packed lunch for that day, or would it offend her?

BountyIsUnderrated · 28/04/2021 10:34

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult I've tried packing food, stuff like Bananas etc she doesn't touch it.

He does have a bit of a dodgy tummy due to comfort milk which I will be dropping soon, but the soup definitely really upsets him, I think because more liquid coming in than solids.

OP posts:
FizzyApricot · 28/04/2021 10:34

Echoing PP send a packed lunch. If it carries on consider another day at nursery.

FizzyApricot · 28/04/2021 10:35

[quote BountyIsUnderrated]@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult I've tried packing food, stuff like Bananas etc she doesn't touch it.

He does have a bit of a dodgy tummy due to comfort milk which I will be dropping soon, but the soup definitely really upsets him, I think because more liquid coming in than solids.[/quote]
You need to insist and if it carrys on look at ending the arrangement ASAP.

fistasledge · 28/04/2021 10:37

Did your MIL start a thread earlier in the week about a 'fat' nursery manager by any chance 😆

In all seriousness, I agree with others. I'd be having a conversation with her about the food he eats at hers. Obviously she's doing you a big favour so could you send him to her with precooked food?

romdowa · 28/04/2021 10:40

If she wont listen and wont feed him food you send with him then you probably will have to find alternative childcare for that day.

BountyIsUnderrated · 28/04/2021 10:41

I guess I can trying insisting again but we've already spoken to her twice about it, she's very stubborn and I don't want to offend her.
She wouldn't even administer my baby his medication instead trying to give him a more natural topical treatment so we pushed that. (thankfully he's not too bad and it's only once a week)
If it happens again this week we may have to have another word :( I've definitely noticed if I give him too much to drink he's runnier but he's fine the rest of the week and in nursery.

OP posts:
RebelByLight · 28/04/2021 10:42

One meal of soup a week is not going to have that much of an effect. MIL is the same, she likes feeding the Dc soup because it's easy to heat up, can be made the day before etc etc. I think you need to ask what she is putting in the soup and see if there is a common ingredient that could be causing issues.
What else does she give him? Could she be giving too much fruit?

starfishmummy · 28/04/2021 10:42

It does sound as if the "different" food she gives him does not suit him.

If you've already told her it is upsetting his tummy and she continues then I'd send food with him. You could tell her that you need to monitor what he eats to work out what is causing his problems (true) with maybe just a hint that it is on medical advice???

bunburyscucumbersandwich · 28/04/2021 10:43

Soup should not cause diarrhoea because of the liquid, otherwise everything we drink would cause us to go to the toilet.

What does she put in the soup? Is it homemade or out of a tin?

FizzyApricot · 28/04/2021 10:44

Your update re: medication is more worrying. She doesn't respect your decisions as parents.

FizzyApricot · 28/04/2021 10:44

And yes find out what is in the soup!

BountyIsUnderrated · 28/04/2021 10:45

@RebelByLight It could be an allergy but I've noticed if he has too much liquids his poos get runny.
She does offer finger food like cheese sticks etc so that at least it good.
It's just he's supposed to be more on solids by now, I don't mind soup for lunch but she's doing it for breakfast, dinner and lunch. Shock

I guess it must be easy to prepare.

OP posts:
starfishmummy · 28/04/2021 10:45

Oh, Ive read that she wouldn't give him his medication. In that case maybe its time to make other arrangements.

Mrsjayy · 28/04/2021 10:46

It is probably the food rather than lack of solid that is upsetting his stomach she either listens to you or not frustrating and inconvenient as it is you might need to look for alternative childcare. Fwiw avocado gives me an upset stomach it might be that but you need to find out.

ComDummings · 28/04/2021 10:46

Your MIL is a dick. If you want your child to eat certain foods then you should provide them but her not giving medication is not on, not at all. I would be cancelling this arrangement and extending nursery time or finding a childminder who will look after your child properly. It is not acceptable to give children food that harms them by causing an upset stomach and also not acceptable that she will not give the medication your child needs.

BountyIsUnderrated · 28/04/2021 10:48

@mrsjayy maybe it is the avocado that doesn't agree with him, he does have a few allergies already so we are under a dietician.
I will have to ask what is in the soup but it could be a combination of things.

OP posts:
swimlittlefishy · 28/04/2021 10:48

but the soup definitely really upsets him, I think because more liquid coming in than solids

Yea, that's not how stomachs work though.

Motnight · 28/04/2021 10:50

I would give her one more chance, make it clear that she has to respect your requests or you will stop allowing her to look after her grandchild. And then follow it through.

Probably most effective if your dh delivers the message!

MobyDicksTinyCanoe · 28/04/2021 10:50

That shouldn't give him an upset tummy. It sounds like he has some sort of intolerance to something in the soup.

PussGirl · 28/04/2021 10:53

Agree swim - he'd wee more not have diarrhoea

Something in the soup &/or the avocado is doing it - it's probably full of lentils or something who has soup for breakfast anyway?

giletrouge · 28/04/2021 10:56

Agree it's not the soup but has to be an actual ingredient that disagrees with him - or is there any reason to suspect that her hygeine is sub-par?

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