Mil mostly feeding toddler soup

[BountyIsUnderrated]

Just wanted to rant really but not give too much detail away as it might be outing.
Basically my nearly 1 year old is being looked after once a week by mil for a whole day, which we are both grateful for as it saves us a lot of money, but there's one thing that really grinds my gears. . She mainly feeds him just soup and avocado's every time he's there.

I wouldn't have a problem with this but it really upsets his tummy and gives him diarrhea, I think because he's not having enough solid food that day as he's fine the rest of the week.
Dh has already brought this up once before.. She's very peculiar about food as she has gluten intolerance and an autoimmune condition so thinks wheat is bad, potatoes are bad, cereals etc anything not organic is full of 'toxins' and and she's just been getting worse.

She also says nursery just feeds him crap when I actually think it looks pretty healthy, chicken dinners, pasta nutritious food, more nutrious then her just giving him the same stuff every week.
She is generally quite nice but very stubborn in her ways, not sure what to do about it really, but like I said it upsets his tummy and gives him runny poos to be fed mostly soup (and I have to deal with the end result!).

@giletrouge

I wouldn't say so but I am wondering how long she is keeping this soup for and is she heating it up thoroughly.

They are getting on a bit in years now so we notice they do have moments where they are a bit lapse in their judgement.

I will bring up next time maybe he has an allergy to something, or it could just be the change in diet that day who knows.

Stop using her as childcare and up the nursery days. She doesn’t listen to you and has previously failed to give medication so clearly cannot be trusted. And poor child, breakfast soup is just grim! That said, it’s much more likely that it’s poor food hygiene or an a food allergy to something in the soup or the avocado that’s making him unwell.

How odd. Provide a lunch /dinner etc for your child that can be heated up. All snacks, drinks provided by yourself. If she refuses to use them and continues the soup/avocado combo, I would be hastily reconsidering my childcare options!

Your baby is less than a year old. Many babies of that age have little solid food at all and survive on milk, and they don’t have diarrhoea.

If one plate of soup is making your child ill then either they are intolerant to what is it or they have a medical problem and you need to take them to see the doctor.

What is comfort milk? Is it a brand of formula ? Once your baby is 12 months old they can have cows milk to drink. Although if they are having tummy problems it might be best not to introduce new foods until you’ve seen a doctor.

Does your baby have cows milk in other foods like yoghurt ?

It's absolutely normal for babies and toddlers to have diarrhea after consuming lots of fruit and vegetables and presumably the soup is vegetable based.

It's called juice-a-rrhea. My son's allergist told us about it.

It doesn't mean it's wrong or bad, but salt levels should be monitored so it doesn't cause dehydration..

@Couchbettato It is vegatable based, she gives him lots of water as well as she says he's normally quite thirsty.
He's fine on cows milk.

If he's having a diarrhea every time he goes to MIL, I think he's more likely to be allergic/intolerant to the food she's giving, not because it's a soup.

You mentioned that he has allergies, are you sure MIL has fully understood these and is avoiding the allergens? It wouldn't be unheard of for her to think she knows best and is attempting to reintroduce the allergens to "prove you wrong" or to "cure" him. I think you need to be very careful here, I hope I'm wrong, but the food issues and her attitude to medication are red flags.

@I0NA it's not one plate of soup she gives it pretty much the whole time he's there, but I get what you are saying.

He has formula at the moment but we've been giving him cows milk as well, he definitely does not have a dairy allergy.

Why is he having vegetable soup for breakfast, lunch and dinner whilst there?
That’s weird

Just tell her he can’t have it three times a day. He can have soup for lunch, but he needs some bread with it ( she can give him gluten free if she can’t be near wheat). And for breakfast and dinner he needs to have an actual meal suitable or your can provide those meals and expect him to be given what you provide and not more soup. If she won’t, then she can’t look after him.

There’s no reason he has to have soup x3 per day because she doesn’t like ‘junk’ food

Breakfast: porridge and banana
Lunch: soup, bread, cheese
Dinner: some carbs/ proteins and veggies

Packed meals or pay for nursery.

Does she have an intolerance or coeliac. If the latter she is perfectly reasonable to not feed him sandwiches.

Soup once a week shouldnt be upsetting his stomach though.

Soup and avocado won't cause diarrhoea in themselves. Soup is only a more liquid version of solid food.

But if it bothers you, just stop using your MIL for child care.

but the soup definitely really upsets him, I think because more liquid coming in than solids.

That shouldn’t cause diarrhoea. Fluids and solids are dealt with differently by the digestive system.

If you’re not happy with soup, then you’re not happy with soup. So say so, but you can’t accuse MIL of “being peculiar about food” while asserting peculiar ideas about food yourself.

Just be more assertive about what you’d like him to eat, and if you really think he is suffering from a loose tummy, consider other explanations than solid/liquid ratio.

@caspianberg

As I said she's very peculiar about food, I believe even porridge is on her naughty list due to food issues.
She believes many things are cancer causing and bad for you including certain meats etc unless they are organic.
She is not a malicious person I don't think she would intentionally give anything he is intolerant to. She just thinks she is helping everyone be healthier.
She is otherwise nice most of the time but very set in her ways, my dh said she didn't always used to be like this until she was diagnosed with her condition.

@rickitarr

I have said we would say something but we can't really afford other childcare, we are barely affording our mortgage at the moment and other debts.

I am just trying to work out why it may be upsetting him as I've said he's done most of the time and sometimes simply changing his diet can make him upset.

We are just going to have to bring it up again this week and maybe come to some kind of agreement of feeding him more variety, hopefully she won't take it personally.

*fine not done.

Couldn’t you give him breakfast at home before he goes to your MIL? That way you get to chose what he eats for at least one meal that day. Soup for lunch and dinner only would be more reasonable.

@maskedrevenger

I would but have to get up very early to start work so don't have time, I work long hours and DH has to get up early to drop him off.

If you are concerned maybe make a thicker soup yourself of blitzed ingredients with pasta in etc and take that. Also maybe an ellas organic yogurt, mango and brown rice breakfast sachet. Then breadsticks and a small portion of blended shepherds pie or something similar. Take the 3 individual meals labelled in separate containers., Explain he is having explosive diarrhea overnight after the soup/ avo combo and that you are doing abit of food elimination. Say please mil just feed this as I really don’t want him to have an upset tummy/ sore bottom etc. If she really won’t do that when you have made it so straightforward and explained it is causing pain/discomfort then you have to make an alternative arrangement.

How early do you both have yo be up? Surely you could get up 20 mins earlier tk feed your child?
Sned a packed lunch and insists he eats that for lunch. Send in something for dinner that she can heat up. If she still goes against your wishes, take him away and send him to nursery for the extra day.

She should respect your wishes...but I am not getting how soup can trigger a dodgy tummy. Soup is just food with water - drinking lots of water does not give people loose bowels. I would ask her for the soup receipe as sounds like he might be allergic to something in it so you can avoid it elsewhere.

Or if you are happy with the the Ellas organic they used to be great, they are in really handy sachets and they do spaghetti Bol, chicken pie, breakfast and pudding choices. If you trialled them at home then they would be so convenient for her to use. I think you need to try and identify if it’s food snobbery or convenience which is driving her behaviour.

Long term alternative childcare
Short term could you try harnessing her food weirdness for good. There's something in the soup that he's allergic/intolerant to could she help you figure out what it is and help think of a solution?

It doesn’t matter what she thinks or is weird about food items. She doesn’t have to eat them.
If your providing general food that she isn’t allergic too, that you are happy for baby to eat, she should give it too him

Otherwise if she really wants to provide meals, you need to sit down with her and see exactly what he’s currently having as something must be setting him off. And decide with her a meal plan she’s happy to provide that provides a few more food groups. You need to discuss what she is happy to provide for breakfast etc.. porridge is completely normal and not exactly the worst junk food, cancer induced food group.

Avocado is fine for dinner at that age. I have a 12 month old, he loves it. But I wouldn’t just give him that, he has something like 1/2 avocado as finger food, with a little bit of fish, some new potatoes and broccoli. Or at lunch he has it mashed onto toast.