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Original poster

Mil mostly feeding toddler soup

129 replies

BountyIsUnderrated · 28/04/2021 10:28

Just wanted to rant really but not give too much detail away as it might be outing.
Basically my nearly 1 year old is being looked after once a week by mil for a whole day, which we are both grateful for as it saves us a lot of money, but there's one thing that really grinds my gears. . She mainly feeds him just soup and avocado's every time he's there.

I wouldn't have a problem with this but it really upsets his tummy and gives him diarrhea, I think because he's not having enough solid food that day as he's fine the rest of the week.
Dh has already brought this up once before.. She's very peculiar about food as she has gluten intolerance and an autoimmune condition so thinks wheat is bad, potatoes are bad, cereals etc anything not organic is full of 'toxins' and and she's just been getting worse.

She also says nursery just feeds him crap when I actually think it looks pretty healthy, chicken dinners, pasta nutritious food, more nutrious then her just giving him the same stuff every week.
She is generally quite nice but very stubborn in her ways, not sure what to do about it really, but like I said it upsets his tummy and gives him runny poos to be fed mostly soup (and I have to deal with the end result!). Sad

OP posts:
SeaTurtles92 · 28/04/2021 11:39

She wouldn't even administer my baby his medication instead trying to give him a more natural topical treatment so we pushed that.

This is concerning in itself. I wouldn't let her look after him anymore.

Imissthegym · 28/04/2021 11:41

Is it actually causing your baby distress when his poos are runny?

It’s probably just high volume of veg causing it. I’m sure if an adult had veg soup for every meal they’d have runny poo too!

If it’s not making him unhappy, his stomach will mature anyway, then it’s one day a week. She clearly has serious issues around this and you’re unlikely to change her so it’s paid childcare as an alternative.

FWIW my mum has serious choking fear and wouldn’t feed my kids anything they could choke on when they were in her care when they were weaning. She only ever had them for a short period of time though. Could that be part of it too?

derxa · 28/04/2021 11:41
Hmm

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

1 year olds Families
Jobsharenightmare · 28/04/2021 11:43

The exact same soup three times a day?

If it is an ingredient in the soup no wonder it is making him poorly. I agree if she won't give a packed lunch you provide then you need to stop the arrangement as you've already spoken with her and eventually 'gave in' as she sees it.

CaraherEIL · 28/04/2021 11:44

It is proven that a liquid diet with little fibre can cause diarrhea so maybe explain to her that his food needs bulking up with a fibre source some buttered brown bread, and a yogurt and banana later rather than more soup.

swimlittlefishy · 28/04/2021 11:46

It is proven that a liquid diet with little fibre can cause diarrhea

Yes, a full liquid diet. But not in 8-12 hours of one day of the week!

CaraherEIL · 28/04/2021 11:47

But it depends what’s in the soup? It could be full of fibre she needs to communicate better about why she won’t do simple things you ask. Also when he’s developing all his new tastes it’s bloody boring.

CaraherEIL · 28/04/2021 11:50

Well it depends with such a small system that still has a big liquid intake in milk anyway plus if she is giving him large amounts of water. At the same age my babies bowels were fairly quick and reactive to an overload of 1 thing over a day ie too many strawberries would produce loose bowels within the same day.

Thatwentbadly · 28/04/2021 11:51

[quote BountyIsUnderrated]@RebelByLight It could be an allergy but I've noticed if he has too much liquids his poos get runny.
She does offer finger food like cheese sticks etc so that at least it good.
It's just he's supposed to be more on solids by now, I don't mind soup for lunch but she's doing it for breakfast, dinner and lunch. Shock

I guess it must be easy to prepare.[/quote]
Comfort milk and cheese jumped out at me. Why is he on comfort milk? Could be have CMPA? My oldest was diagnosed with it at 11 months old.

nitsandwormsdodger · 28/04/2021 11:56

Soup should not affect his poos ? Unless he was in pain I'd not worry about it
I would provide the things she doesn't eat in a packed lunch as she should not have to buy and prepare things she is allergic to
Maybe send links to healthy eating to back up your request

NerrSnerr · 28/04/2021 11:57

I have said we would say something but we can't really afford other childcare, we are barely affording our mortgage at the moment and other debts.

You might need to look at the balance of work/ childcare if it's affecting his health. You have to ultimately put your child first.

NeilBuchananisBanksy · 28/04/2021 12:02

So she feeds only soup and refuses to administer medication? That's not on op.

I know finances are tight but you need to find other care.

Original poster
BountyIsUnderrated · 28/04/2021 12:14

@Thatwentbadly He was put on comfort milk for bad reflux which settled it but he's not had problems with dairy since in the week so I doubt its that.
Could be too little fibre maybe as he's having very little on those days, I think the soup is normally chicken based now I think about it.
To the other poster, we get up around 4 in the morning, there's no way I can wake the baby up that early for breakfast without disturbing his sleep.

OP posts:
RickiTarr · 28/04/2021 12:20

Maybe send links to healthy eating to back up your request

Probably better not to get into a debate about what constitutes “healthy eating” with her.

Remaker · 28/04/2021 12:28

I think you need to find out the ingredients in the soup. Onions, leeks and lentils can all cause tummy upsets and diarrhoea.

June628 · 28/04/2021 12:30

@BountyIsUnderrated

I guess I can trying insisting again but we've already spoken to her twice about it, she's very stubborn and I don't want to offend her. She wouldn't even administer my baby his medication instead trying to give him a more natural topical treatment so we pushed that. (thankfully he's not too bad and it's only once a week) If it happens again this week we may have to have another word :( I've definitely noticed if I give him too much to drink he's runnier but he's fine the rest of the week and in nursery.
Stopped reading after this. This would be an absolute no for me. Pay for an extra day at nursery. I appreciate the cost is big but the health of your baby needs to be your priority. You mil does not sound capable of looking after him. You’ve tried to speak to her about it and she won’t listen so I don’t see that you have much choice to be honest.
Devlesko · 28/04/2021 12:32

If she won't listen you'll need to find a nursery or chid minder.

InkieNecro · 28/04/2021 12:32

He's very thirsty there? Is there a lot of salt in the soup?

Thistimelastyear · 28/04/2021 12:40

There are no two ways about it, either she feeds him the food you provide or she cannot look after him anymore. Explain how he is suffering and that a GP has advised on his diet.

Megan2018 · 28/04/2021 12:45

As your child gets older, do you want your child exposed to her batshit views? She’s not providing suitable childcare. Stop sending your child there to eat. Normal accompanied visits only.

Chatanooga1 · 28/04/2021 12:45

Ask her how she would have reacted if her mother in law had gone against her wishes regarding the care of her child?

That’s what I said to my children’s grandmother on their fathers side when she wanted to put a ‘drop’ of brandy in a cup of milk when my son was a toddler.

Whilst grandparents can have a great input in many aspects of a child’s life there are times when the parents must dictate what is allowed and what is not in the care of THEIR child.

If she can’t grasp that then she must not see the child unsupervised.

SunshineCake · 28/04/2021 12:52

It really wouldn't matter if once a week he has the same meal. Plenty of people always have a roast on a Sunday or always fish on a Friday. The issue is what she is giving him is giving him an upset tummy. That is the problem that needs to be dealt with.

Megan2018 · 28/04/2021 12:54

@SunshineCake

It really wouldn't matter if once a week he has the same meal. Plenty of people always have a roast on a Sunday or always fish on a Friday. The issue is what she is giving him is giving him an upset tummy. That is the problem that needs to be dealt with.
I think the same meal - soup for breakfast, lunch and dinner even if once a week is not appropriate. One meal is fine. 3 meals of soup a day is not on, upset stomach or not.
SunshineCake · 28/04/2021 12:55

I didn't see that he was having three lots of soup when I posted that.

If the formula is upsetting him why not stop immediately ? You are giving him something you know upsets his tummy.

Puttingouthefirewithgasoline · 28/04/2021 12:57

so annoying when people present a situation with a clearly very awkward person and say " have a chat" shes had a bloody chat a few times! People are like because they are stubborn and know best and people cant get through to them. Reasonable people who take things on board are probably not discussed on here because they do not need to be.

OP for some reason she is totally rigid on this so you either accept it and the care OR you say - we will have to stop you caring for him, I do not think you understand how strongly I feel about this - this is not negotiable and Iwill put him in nursery.