Have you ever been to a wedding where someone was jilted?

[JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows]

Me and my friend tonight watched a (so bad it's good) film where a bride jilts the groom and he runs off with her sister as they sing a Cher song together we were discussing jilting, she said at Uni her friend's wedding was called off the night before when the bride had discovered an affair. And I remember as a teen my parents coming home only a couple of hours after they left for a wedding. The groom didn't show up to the service, he was seen leaving the hotel in the car of a woman waiting outside is jilting very rare? Have you ever known anyone jilted or a wedding cancelled last minute?

Six weeks before my own wedding I went to a family party and my cousins best friend turned up. I'd been "in love" with him for years (unrequited). Proceeded to get absolutely shitfaced on virtually neat gin and fessed up to my husband to be while sat at a bus stop (no idea why). The wedding still went ahead but we split up less than 3 years later (he went off with someone he met at work). 35 years later and we are still friends. I asked him fairly recently why he still married me and he said it was because it was all booked, some of his family had paid for flights from Ireland and he'd have felt guilty. The best friend was of course a total knob and I have no idea why I was so keen on him at the time

I’m 48, @AfterSchoolWorry. I have no idea whether it’s generational — I was certainly at school with several siblings born in the same calendar year. I don’t know anyone who would use the expression ‘Irish twins’.

ancientgran
@NameChangedForThisFeb21 You might not realise but "Irish Twins" is really offensive.

^Really? I had no idea! I'm Irish and an 'Irish twin' (sibling & I born opposite ends of the same year). I've never found it offensive*

I had been wondering about this, as the only person I have ever heard use this in real life was an Irish colleague who was an "Irish Twin" and cheerfully said so. The conversation came about because we were talking about spacing between babies - mine are three years apart, but my neighbour had her first two 10 months apart. I said she must be fond of a treat and it must be harder than twins, because they are at different, very demanding, stages of development. She them said "Ah! Irish Twins! I'm an Irish Twin myself." and told me what they were.

She seemed quite cheery about it.

There will be people think think it’s fine, @SchadenfreudePersonified, just as there are women who are fine with being called things other women would find insanely sexist.

You're right Calamine - and it's not a term I've ever used myself, but I must admit that's possibly because I've never come across another set of babies born so close together, so I've never been tempted to.

@CalaminePink

I’m 48, *@AfterSchoolWorry*. I have no idea whether it’s generational — I was certainly at school with several siblings born in the same calendar year. I don’t know anyone who would use the expression ‘Irish twins’.

I'm 5 years younger than you and we had none in my school year. The most common gap was two years.

Has this thread converted to 'Irish Twins' now? Lol

Someone confided to DH when drunk she didn’t love her husband to be but he had a good job. Went ahead, didn’t last long before she was sleeping around and it ended.

Not a jilting but knew someone who didn't want to marry but went through with it because they couldn't face cancelling. Left him one month later and the whole debt of the wedding to pay, couldn't understand why his family hated her

Noisy (!!) downstairs neighbour and her fiancé split when they went to get married and the guy leading the ceremony ask the fiancé when he'd got divorced. Turned out he hadn't.

As a kid I was bridesmaid for someone who got left literally at the altar - bridal party arrived to the church to be told no groom, so we circled around a bit and then someone said he’d run off to Grimsby with another woman.

I’ve always been a bit suspicious of Grimsby ever since.

Poor woman kept a brave face during the day but I’m told was obviously heartbroken that evening. She was a friend of my mum’s, despite being her not bridesmaid I didn’t know her well.

I worked with a girl who dated a man for several years he went on holiday to visit family in Pakistan and came back with a bride (arranged marriage) then calmly stated that nothing had changed between them. Worst thing! she was contemplating it. What a louse and what an idiot.

A had a quick fling with a guy, who blatantly was still in love with his ex, but he ended things with me because he hadn’t fallen in love with me on our first date like he had with his ex.....

Said ex dumped him two weeks before their wedding and did a runner, leaving him to sort out everything. He had to rehome his dog, sell their house, all after telling everyone it was off. He had just started, or was just about to start, a new job too.

He made me sit through a photo session of photos of him the ex and the dog. I think that’s when I knew it was doomed as he still wasn’t over her. It had been about five years before that too.

@AngelDelightUk

A had a quick fling with a guy, who blatantly was still in love with his ex, but he ended things with me because he hadn’t fallen in love with me on our first date like he had with his ex.....

Said ex dumped him two weeks before their wedding and did a runner, leaving him to sort out everything. He had to rehome his dog, sell their house, all after telling everyone it was off. He had just started, or was just about to start, a new job too.

He made me sit through a photo session of photos of him the ex and the dog. I think that’s when I knew it was doomed as he still wasn’t over her. It had been about five years before that too.

I don't mean to be unkind but I think I can see why she did a runner, although of course she should have cleared up her half of the mess.

No, but I wish I had !

he’d run off to Grimsby with another woman.

Grimsby! Sensual hub of the erotic universe!!!

Not quite the same but I had an old friend who’d lived with her partner for nearly twenty years before they decided to tie the knot. He then apparently cheated on her with a friend of the family and now they’re separated. At least she got some financial protection out of it.

My grandparents were made to get married by their parents in the late 1940s due to having my uncle. They stayed together and by all accounts were happy later life but the first 10 years or so were rough.
My grandfather tried to talk my dad out of getting married, he did and my parents divorced. At my brothers wedding my dad was telling him it wasn't too late as the bride was arriving after months of pressuring him not to do it.
I eloped and first dad heard was when I got home again

Should read dad did get married

A former work colleague was dumped by her fiance 3 months before the wedding. She assumed everything was cancelled. However she found out that the wedding and reception went ahead as planned but with a different bride! This was in 2002 before social media.

I cancelled my wedding to ex-p with 3 months to go. We stayed together for a short time before splitting up. Best decision I ever made.

Personally I’m now quite cynical about weddings. They seem to often be a massive performance to a really standard script and all about the show rather than personal to the bride and groom. I can completly see how people get caught up in the event and the social pressures and end up getting married when they don’t want to.

There's a grim fascination to this. Decades ago when it was very difficult and expensive to get a divorce, did people think longer and harder before getting married? Or, given that sex before marriage was so frowned on, did people rush into marriage out of lust? And of course there would have been lots of shotgun marriages back then - that must virtually have died out now. You'd think the chances of those working out would have been lower than a marriage contracted after a longer engagement where both parties had time to think if they were doing the right thing.

I agree with PP that the enormous expense, convoluted arrangements and huge guest list of some weddings won't help. Marriage is about the long term, not the wedding day. People put off getting married until they can afford a perfect wedding, but the whole reason for getting married is to get legal protection and to have the relationship recognised in law*. The need for that starts when the relationship gets serious and they live together, their finances become intertwined and they may have children together. A simple ceremony early on would do the job, or a civil partnership, I suppose. Have a big party for a big anniversary later, if you want.

*Not everybody would be better off getting married, but most women who are going to have children would be. Read up on it and make an informed decision about what's best for each partner and for both of you as a couple/family.

One anecdote to contribute. 30+ years ago a colleague was getting married. I remember us all standing around one day wishing him well. He was given a card and probably a present from the department. He didn't look radiant, but he wasn't really that type of person, so I didn't think too much about it. He was marrying his long-term girlfriend. They'd been living together for several years.

I was young and naive then, so I was absolutely flabbergasted to learn a few weeks later that very shortly after the wedding he'd left his new wife. He'd been having an affair for months with a colleague in another department. Same as many others on this thread - his fiancee and family were totally caught up in the wedding arrangements and he just couldn't summon up the courage to tell her it was all off.

Dreadful thing to do to another person. I often wonder how it worked out with the OW, as I believe they moved in together.

There's a grim fascination to this. Decades ago when it was very difficult and expensive to get a divorce, did people think longer and harder before getting married? Or, given that sex before marriage was so frowned on, did people rush into marriage out of lust? And of course there would have been lots of shotgun marriages back then - that must virtually have died out now. You'd think the chances of those working out would have been lower than a marriage contracted after a longer engagement where both parties had time to think if they were doing the right thing.

I think the expectations of marriage, especially from women, were much lower.
As far as some women were concerned so long as he didn’t beat you too often it was ok. Remember that rape within marriage was only became a legally recognised offence in the 90s.

@FrenchFancie

As a kid I was bridesmaid for someone who got left literally at the altar - bridal party arrived to the church to be told no groom, so we circled around a bit and then someone said he’d run off to Grimsby with another woman.

I’ve always been a bit suspicious of Grimsby ever since.

Poor woman kept a brave face during the day but I’m told was obviously heartbroken that evening. She was a friend of my mum’s, despite being her not bridesmaid I didn’t know her well.

What a cruel man to leave her to turn up at the church as a bride with him not turning up because he was shacking up with someone in Grimsby.