Have you ever been to a wedding where someone was jilted?

[JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows]

Me and my friend tonight watched a (so bad it's good) film where a bride jilts the groom and he runs off with her sister as they sing a Cher song together we were discussing jilting, she said at Uni her friend's wedding was called off the night before when the bride had discovered an affair. And I remember as a teen my parents coming home only a couple of hours after they left for a wedding. The groom didn't show up to the service, he was seen leaving the hotel in the car of a woman waiting outside is jilting very rare? Have you ever known anyone jilted or a wedding cancelled last minute?

[CatarinaJ]

This thread reminds me of poor pregnant Fanny in Far from the Madding Crowd going to the wrong church as a bride and being dumped by Troy as a result and dying destitute in childbirth.

[zebrapig]

I have a friend whose DW had been cheating on him for months before they got married, he eventually found out 6 weeks after the wedding and left her immediately.

I felt so sorry for him, his parents died when he was a teenager, he spent months working in Dubai to get the money to pay for the wedding. Came back to the UK, started a new job a month before the wedding, went abroad to get married and then discovered what had been happening. I always wonder why she didn't do the decent thing and say something rather than go through with it.

[MrsPetty]

Didn’t jilt my ex husband but did marry him with grave reservations. It didn’t last. Divorced and annulled.

[pbvincent]

My parents were married in 1952, and remained happily so until my fathers death in 1988.
A saying from that age was,

'Love is blind, but marriage is an eye opener'

Sorry but some of these posts transported me down memory lane

[Whatawaytogo]

@MrsPetty

Didn’t jilt my ex husband but did marry him with grave reservations. It didn’t last. Divorced and annulled.

But if annulled, you didn’t need to divorce?

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Religious annulment? I believe this is different from a legal annulment, which is rare these days, and granted on different criteria from a divorce.

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

On a similar note, I've been wondering about all the people who say things like 'divorced three months after the wedding'. Not in the UK. You have to be married for over a year before you can start divorce proceedings here. Annulment is possible earlier, if you meet the criteria.

[contrary13]

Was discussing this thread with my great-aunt, who reminded me of something I already knew (but like to forget) - when my parents married, my mother was engaged to another man... and weeks away from having to go through the ceremony. My father didn't know anything about him (this may well "out" me, but my parents married 6 weeks to the day of having met one another on a blind date) until my mother took him with her, to the first fiance's family home to break it off. They'd been married for a week by that point.

Further, my mother ran away on the night before her wedding (to my father) and was found by her best friend/chief bridesmaid, who had set my parents up. Words were exchanged, best friend was punched, she was out of the wedding (she apparently had a black eye). My great-aunt insists that my mother told her best friend about the first fiance and that's what the row/withdrawing from the whole debacle was about.

50 years later and my parents are still (un)happily married. I do wonder if my mother would have been happier being married to the first fiance - but I suspect not.

[TatianaBis]

@Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g

On a similar note, I've been wondering about all the people who say things like 'divorced three months after the wedding'. Not in the UK. You have to be married for over a year before you can start divorce proceedings here. Annulment is possible earlier, if you meet the criteria.

Separated perhaps or at least decided to get divorced.

[AlexCabot]

My Dad had a secretary in the early nineties who was married in the September and separated by Christmas.

The wedding was lavish with a capital L. My parents reckoned it cost at least 50 grand (her parents were very rich but you could have bought a decent house with that money back then!) and she had given up work to be a wife (and presumably a mother eventually) so the first my Dad knew was when she phoned him to ask for her job back.

She ended up working for him until he recently retired, never remarried and never spoke of the ex husband.

[BlackAmericanoNoSugar]

@Sumasi

Not a jilting, but at a friends uncles wedding 40+ years ago an ex girlfriend claimed during the ceremony that they were married.

They weren’t.

The wedding had to stop. I don’t know what happened Re the reception but the uncle and fiancé married at a later date (he had to prove he wasn’t married first) and ex’s name was mud!

How do you prove that you're not married?

[Sumasi]

I assume that you must be able to do searches just as you can search for births and deaths - they couldn’t get married that day.

[BlackAmericanoNoSugar]

But what would they search for? I suppose you could enter his name and her name and give a date range of a couple of years, but not finding anything isn't really proof. When we adopted DD I kept searching for her new 'birth' cert and couldn't find it for nearly a year after we adopted, it not existing wasn't proof that the adoption hadn't happened (I think the court hadn't submitted it properly or something, DS's new birth cert had been available within weeks).

Suppose the woman had said they'd been married in another country and wouldn't give the name of the country? That would be impossible to prove false, you'd have to give her a time limit to prove it true and then assume her statement was false.

[Sumasi]

Good point re overseas. I know on the day she admitted it wasn’t true (but they still couldn’t go ahead as the accusation had been made). I don’t know how they provided proof 🤷‍♀️ just know my friend said they couldn’t marry until proof was provided and that the wedding went ahead at a later date.

[BoomBoomsCousin]

@Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g

On a similar note, I've been wondering about all the people who say things like 'divorced three months after the wedding'. Not in the UK. You have to be married for over a year before you can start divorce proceedings here. Annulment is possible earlier, if you meet the criteria.

People mean they split up and so started the divorce process.

[BoomBoomsCousin]

@Sumasi

I assume that you must be able to do searches just as you can search for births and deaths - they couldn’t get married that day.

You can only search for births and marriages if you know which registry office and what date (roughly, at least) to search. Divorces, similarly, are filed by public records office and your need the date and names in order to find them.

So you can’t prove a negative that way. If they waited it would have had to be for the Ex to provide more details and those to be checked, not simply for the groom to “prove” he’d never been married.

What an awful thing to do to someone, though.

[Milkywaystars]

I didn't know this couple but we had mutual friends who went to their wedding. The bride apparently rang her dad in the middle of the night to collect her from the hotel. They were due to fly out to their honeymoon the next day. It was a very lavish Asian wedding & the couple met whilst working together in London. Nobody knew the exact reasons for the separation & subsequent divorce.

[DeltaFlyer]

My sister was with her fella for 10+ years, living together and engaged for most of it.
The wedding was a no expense spared affair but even though they both had good salaries they still managed to rack up a good 20K debt for it. They never even stayed together long enough after the wedding to collect the photos.
They had some issues with drifting apart for a while then looked happy with the wedding planning but then it was all stress and pressure to be perfect, they had a massive fall out on their honeymoon. Sister went straight into rented accommodation on their return. I honestly think in their case that they wanted the wedding to save the relationship but once it was over there was no longer a focal point to look towards and all the old issues came to become a problem again.
Sister is still paying off her share of the debt

[steppemum]

@VenusClapTrap

My cousin went awol a week before her wedding. No one knew where she’d gone. She was eventually tracked down staying with friends at the other end of the country, and said she just couldn’t go through with the wedding.

Her MIL-to-be had completely taken over the wedding planning and steamrollered everything into a big shebang that wasn’t at all what my cousin wanted, constantly saying “In our family we do things this way”. Cousin said she’d had a sudden realisation that if she married the guy then she’d be stuck with this woman organising her whole life. She didn’t know how to stop it all so she’d just buggered off.

Her dm and immediate family were furious and didn’t speak to her for months. My dm (her aunt) was appalled by this, found out where she was staying and went over to tell her that she’d absolutely done the right thing, and it was much better to not go through with a marriage in the first place than to get divorced later.

your mum is very lovely x

[COPPER3]

Following this fascinating and awfully sad thread...

[Scarby9]

One of my great grandma's favourite anecdotes was a wedding she had been at in the 1920s when the groom's actual wife stood up at the 'anyone know of any impediment' bit and said 'He's still married to me!'
She was a bit hazy on exactly what happened next but reenacted the drama with great relish

[VenusClapTrap]

Thank you, @steppemum, she was indeed.

[Wabe]

The wedding was a no expense spared affair but even though they both had good salaries they still managed to rack up a good 20K debt for it. They never even stayed together long enough after the wedding to collect the photos.

I used to know a photographer who did a lot of weddings, and he said this happened surprisingly often!

He also claimed to be able to predict with a fair degree of accuracy from the wedding whether this would be the case, but I'm not necessarily convinced by that. (Though I suppose someone who did what he did artsy verité-style photos of everything from the bridesmaids getting their makeup done to dawn 'survivor' photographs at a barndance reception might actually be able to get an accurate enough picture of various people's states of mind...)

[steppemum]

I went to a friend's wedding.
None of us liked the groom. He was just crass and loud-mouthed and not a very nice person.

At the reception, people were openly talking about how long it would last. Most gave them 2 years max.

Funnily enough, they are still together. I don't know how happy they are, but she decided to stick it out I think. I have lost touch as there wasn't much fun meeting up with him there.

[TeddingtonTrashbag]

he’d run off to Grimsby with another woman.

Doubtless you will now get outraged posters piling into derail the thread about the dissing of Grimsby...