Have you ever been to a wedding where someone was jilted?

[JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows]

Me and my friend tonight watched a (so bad it's good) film where a bride jilts the groom and he runs off with her sister as they sing a Cher song together we were discussing jilting, she said at Uni her friend's wedding was called off the night before when the bride had discovered an affair. And I remember as a teen my parents coming home only a couple of hours after they left for a wedding. The groom didn't show up to the service, he was seen leaving the hotel in the car of a woman waiting outside is jilting very rare? Have you ever known anyone jilted or a wedding cancelled last minute?

I know of two situations. One wedding my parents were invited to, they turned up only to find it had been cancelled at the last minute by the groom who had found out the day before that the bride was seeing her ex again. Apparently she and her family begged him to go through with it because of the money spent and the embarrassment, but he rightly refused and told anyone who asked the reason why.

The other should have been cancelled after the groom had multiple daliances with other women, but it went ahead because the two families were good friends and the parents basically decided it was happening regardless as it had been their dream since the bride and groom were kids. Amazingly they are still married. I guess she must have just decided to accept that's how he is because there's no way he would be able to keep it in his pants forever more.

An aside, but is 'Irish twin' offensive?

I've heard it twice in my life, both regarding the 'other' girls secondary school in my town, a Catholic convent school. In both cases, both sets of girls referred to themselves as Irish twins!! One pair were actually Irish, the others weren't.

It was funny, not offensive!

I am reminded of my Irish obstetrician in Australia in around 2000. I'd just had my first, and, as a slightly older mum, asked about when I might get pregnant again.

He said 'Anytime, but avoid Irish twins!! By which he meant 'two kids in the same school year' 😂

Don't go looking for offence.

My ex's brother in law walked out a month after their marriage. I was stunned.

All the time that I had known them he was clearly besotted with the woman and proposed a few times before she accepted. I obviously cant give the reason as i dont know, but I did wonder if he finally got what he wanted and then lost interest?!

I also have a colleague who left his wife shortly after marriage. They had been together 10 years, their parents had spent £££ and they felt under pressure. He knew he wasnt doing the right thing.

I didn't attend the wedding but someone I worked with married a man from overseas, Standing at the altar at the end of the ceremony he apparently announced 'thanks, I needed to be married to stay in the country' and walked out of the church never to be seen again. She had a mental breakdown and ended up in hospital for a time

I know a couple of people this has happened to. The thing is they were both warned by parents, relatives and friends this was the reason why they had proposed but both went ahead with the wedding as they didn’t believe it and thought their relationship was different. One at least made it through the weekend before leaving. One walked out during the reception.

I know another couple who everyone warned the bride to be that the guy she was marrying was really not right for her. Again the warnings landed on deaf ears. She left him in the honeymoon hotel, flew back and filed for divorce within a few days of their marriage

I couldn't attend the wedding of friends as had very young baby & toddler at the time, family and friends attending and I had no childcare, decided to sit it out.
At the wedding reception there was a photo booth, the bride and bestman were in there, out comes a photo of them kissing, it was seen by the mother of the bride but she kept quiet. They managed to keep it quiet for 4 months, bride then left her new husband, bestman sort of left his wife, kept her sweet insisting they would work things out he just needed time. Suddenly 7 months after the wedding the bride and best man are using wedding photos of them both on social media and are in a relationship ! For anyone not involved it suddenly looked like it had been their wedding.
The bestman was my husband ! He was abusive and I was in a bad way mental health wise, had no social media and was cut off from family and friends because he had made life so impossible to continue any relationship outside of him. So I didn't actually know until another 3 months later.

@everydayiwritethebook

No, but at my husband's cousin's huge expensive wedding I remarked that it wouldn't last. The bride looked like she didn't want to be there. She filed for divorce within three months. Turned out she'd been shagging her ex. The groom was utterly broken. Jacked in his job and took himself off to Australia where he met his lovely wife, and he's now very happy.

I went to a wedding (my best friend's sister's wedding) where the guests were taking proper bets (with money and everything) about how long it would last. Reason being that the bride was shagging her boss and they had spent the previous weekend together and she pretended to her fiance (and swore her friends to secrecy ' hah!) that she was at her hen do.

i said 6 months. They separated on the honeymoon. The fact the boss ahd booked a room in the same hotel for it may have had something to do with it.

Poor groom spent a good 4 years begging her to come back to him. I lost touch after that but always hoped he found someone worthy of him. This bride was someone who told everyone I was a 'complete slag' because (and only because) I got my hair permed in high school.

Turns out that I am an Irish twin, who knew? You learn something new everyday.

A friend of mine went to pub one evening and met an ex-boyfriend from a few years before. They talked all evening and then he went home and told his wife of three months that he was sorry, but it was over, he was going back to my friend.
Last time I heard from them they were very happy and had a little boy, but I did feel desperately sorry for the wife, I hope she found happiness eventually.

@Nameregretter If the wedding was in Essex in the late 90s then I knew 😂. It was awful, sitting at a reception of a beautiful wedding knowing the groom was gay and shouldn't have gone through with it - I did tell him not to do it.

A good friend has had terrible luck with husbands. She seems to pick serial cheaters. She proves the rule that women marry men lie their fathers.

She wasn't jilted by her third husband but in hindsight jilting would have been better. They were undergoing IVF as she couldn't conceive naturally. He left her the day after the wedding to move in with their mutual colleague who had three small children, saying the colleague could give him the family she couldn't. My friend was left rattling around in their beautiful new build home which she had to sell because she couldn't afford it on her own. Being a new build it had dropped in value the day she moved in and he eventually bought out her share at the lower market value leaving her with a financial loss. Bastard.

She is now married for the 4th time. I hope to god this one works out. She is so lovely and doesn't deserve these awful men.

My cousin went awol a week before her wedding. No one knew where she’d gone. She was eventually tracked down staying with friends at the other end of the country, and said she just couldn’t go through with the wedding.

Her MIL-to-be had completely taken over the wedding planning and steamrollered everything into a big shebang that wasn’t at all what my cousin wanted, constantly saying “In our family we do things this way”. Cousin said she’d had a sudden realisation that if she married the guy then she’d be stuck with this woman organising her whole life. She didn’t know how to stop it all so she’d just buggered off.

Her dm and immediate family were furious and didn’t speak to her for months. My dm (her aunt) was appalled by this, found out where she was staying and went over to tell her that she’d absolutely done the right thing, and it was much better to not go through with a marriage in the first place than to get divorced later.

My DH is Irish. My 2 Irish PILs have 31 siblings between them. Inevitably there are sets of Irish twins on both sides. They see this a source of some pride. A mate of ours had a brother in the same school year as himself (the older one was born in September, his younger brother was born the following July). The two of them loved the novelty of being the Irish twins in their year.

@newusername2009

Since when is Irish twins offensive. My SIL has Irish twins, we are Irish, call them that and no one is offended. She’s not an idiot either and has very much wanted children.

It’s offensive because it draws on negative stereotypes of Irish people as being feckless and breeding like rabbits. I mean, feel free to use the term, but as a lot of people find it violently offensive, I wouldn’t be throwing it around in other people’s hearing.

I don't know a real story - but when Jackson stops April's wedding in Greys Anatomy!! Loved that!

@NameChangedForThisFeb21, I think it’s a formerly offensive term that has since been reclaimed by those it was supposed to offend. Language changes over time and if loads of Irish people find it inoffensive (as shown on many posts on this thread) perhaps it’s time for those that previously found it offensive to have a rethink, and stop clinging onto past perceived injustices. I know a number of Irish Catholic families that joyfully and proudly proclaim their Dsibling children born within a year of each other as Irish twins! (I’m also of Irish descent)

This threat is so sad

I think people are sick of the thread getting derailed now. Can you all not just accept I didn’t know and stop pointing out my mistake and stick to what the OP actually asked about?

[quote Notjustanymum]@NameChangedForThisFeb21, I think it’s a formerly offensive term that has since been reclaimed by those it was supposed to offend. Language changes over time and if loads of Irish people find it inoffensive (as shown on many posts on this thread) perhaps it’s time for those that previously found it offensive to have a rethink, and stop clinging onto past perceived injustices. I know a number of Irish Catholic families that joyfully and proudly proclaim their Dsibling children born within a year of each other as Irish twins! (I’m also of Irish descent)[/quote]
As an Irish person who spent 25 years living in the UK, I can assure you that it’s not a matter of ‘past injustices’, but of anti-Irish stereotypes being alive and well, and living in Middle England. I can’t feel that ‘Irish twins’ is a cute, inoffensive term suitable for reclamation while my experience shows that thick, superstitious, feckless, violent, priest-ridden bogtrotter Paddy is still current.

The newer twist was that there seemed to be a correlation between people who said these things and the ones who would then tell me, with an air of having done something extremely savvy, that they’d just applied for an Irish passport by virtue of a grandparent.

@HeechulOppa

Jesus H Christ, I’m going to start a thread about the phrase ‘Irish twins’ and maybe that will get filled with stories of people being jilted at the altar

Indeed.

It’s boring now and derailing a very interesting thread otherwise. Take your sanctimony and need to school (predominantly Irish people including the poster who first used the phrase) to another thread for discussion. It’s pretty offensive and rude anyway to keep derailing the thread with these rants and anecdotes. Can we keep it on topic?

I've been following this thread the whole way through, it's been fascinating, sad, emotional and everything in between -

But the absolute de-railing of this thread is ruining for all who are actually interested in the topic of started with!

I keep waiting for it to be taken down because of something that has nothing to do with the original op.

For those wishing to talk about the derail topic, please feel free to make another thread. Scrolling past endless posts on the detail topic is getting so tedious.

I didn't attend the wedding but someone I worked with married a man from overseas, Standing at the altar at the end of the ceremony he apparently announced 'thanks, I needed to be married to stay in the country' and walked out of the church never to be seen again. She had a mental breakdown and ended up in hospital for a time

I find that hard to believe. A wedding isn't enough to help anything at all, immigration wise. It wouldn't have achieved anything for him.

Actually I've seen this happen a lot. The user doesn't at the time realise that just being married won't get them immediate citizenship. When they are enlightened after they've abandoned their new husband/ wife , they try to crawl back. I know some people who have gone ahead and sorted out the immigration paperwork despite the fact that the other person has walked out. I think it's to try and prove to themselves that the marriage wasn't about immigration when obviously it was. I obviously know people who have refused to do anything and reported them to immigration and had them removed.

@momtoboys

I'm with Disconnect - I'm Irish, I am an "Irish Twin" and gave birth to "Irish Twins". Not offended by the term.

Same. Born in the same calendar year as sibling, not in the slightest offended.

Maybe it's a generational thing.

About 30 years ago it was in the local papers that a male stripper had gone to far at a hen night in a local nightclub and had sex with the bride to be onstage. The police were called and both spent the night in the cells. I don't think she got married 2 days later.

I have met a handful of women over the years who have admitted that they went to the altar thinking "there's always divorce"", because everything had been arranged and they had gone along with it.

@ginislife no it was in 2018! I’m sure it was really common in the past sadly, but you’d hope not so much these days.