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Original poster

Isn’t sex over rated ?

161 replies

SadFlower98 · 09/04/2021 10:55

Sure it’s lovely in the beginning of a relationship

But other times it’s just a bit meh

Anyone else agree ?

OP posts:

Frenchdressing · 10/04/2021 21:10

Some people are allowed just not to like it. That’s all.

jessstan2 · 10/04/2021 21:18

@Cannotgarden

I'm breastfeeding and the thought of sex, particularly in my overtired state, makes me recoil. Sex with anyone, even if whatsisface from bridgerton said o made him burn I'd just ask him to use it to boil me a cuppa

:-) :-) :-)

osbertthesyrianhamster · 10/04/2021 21:20

@Frenchdressing

Some people are allowed just not to like it. That’s all.

This. I had a terrific introduction to sex. I was quite good looking, but I'm fine with ageing. I've had some amazing sex in my life. I just CBA'd now. I really can't. I don't care for it. And that's fine with me before someone comes in with that tired old 'See your GP' tripe. I don't want to see a fucking GP about it. There's nothing wrong with me. Things have changed with time. And I'm alright with it.

wireleaf · 11/04/2021 10:25

I think tv, films, etc vastly overestimate the amount of sex women have and want. I know someone who writes tv scripts and has been told a few times to include more sex because it attracts viewers, rather than because it's a representation of the characters' lives. There's little fictional representation of people for whom sex isn't a big part of their lives - they're all portrayed as frustrated or in bad relationships. I wonder if that's why so many pps seem to think it's all about the quality of sex - if it's good you'll love it - that's what tv and films tell us.

I reckon at least a third of my female friends are long term single and not having sex, the ones in relationships range from regular, enthusiastic sex to no sex at all. Of course some aren't happy with what they have and are in mismatched relationships, but many are happy - 'normal' is a huge range. I wish I saw this reflected in cultural representations of our lives.

merrymelody · 11/04/2021 23:31

Until I was 48, I thought sex was overrated. It was okay, even quite good sometimes but I honestly didn't understand what all the shouting was about. I got quite skilled at faking orgasms. And then I fell in love with a man I'd been friends with since we were teenagers and I had absolutely mind-blowing sex. I Also experienced my first orgasm during penetrative sex with him. I don't know why or how he did it for me but wow. So never give up if you're interested in having sex - it's never too late.

sammylady37 · 12/04/2021 06:49

@Sarahtrue11

"Those would be the same ancient cultures where people died young and horribly from preventable, treatable or eradicated diseases under western medicine? Ancient cultures where maternal mortality in childbirth was terrifyingly high? As was infant mortality?

Sorry I completely agree with @therocinante

What on earth makes you think that you became lazy and unmotivated due to the 'energy' that your partner was transferring to you via his knob? This is just a lazy way for you to avoid the fact that you allowed yourself to be moulded into his form to make yourself more palatable to him. I long ago learnt not to make friends with people who embodied my worst traits. Be more self assured and set better boundaries would appear a better lesson than ' he had magic sperm.'"

Why on earth be so nasty about it? What on earth do you have to gain from that? I study a lot of reiki, ayurveda and tai chi. They all talk about energy centres in the body.

You believe what you want. I respect that.
Let other people believe what they want.How is it hurting you?

I’ve read a lot of total bollocks on MN over the years but your previous post and defence of ‘I study a lot’ are up there with the most full of shit ones.

It’s just so misogynistic and offensive to view sex in that manner, but hey, it allows you not take responsibility for becoming lazy and unmotivated when you were with someone similar- blame the intangible ‘energy’ instead. Jeez.

StarlightLady · 12/04/2021 07:44

For those saying that is offensive for those who find it overated to be told that they aren’t doing it right, you may have a point.

But is it not equally offensive for those who get enormous pleasure, and satisfaction from it to be told that it is overated?

Orgasms can provide significant stress relef.

NutellaEllaElla · 12/04/2021 07:52

You can't tell the difference between someone saying "I find this thing overrated" and "there's something wrong with you/your relationship then"? Strange.

shallIswim · 12/04/2021 18:22

Overrated in that sometimes when I look around in media land it seems to be everywhere (or the promise at least).
But I'd blimmin miss it if I didn't get it. It worries me a little tbh... I've largely handled the menopause ok but what if one of us just stopped for medical of psychological reasons?
I am a worrier tho

cheezy · 12/04/2021 18:26

I’d be fine if I never had sex again. And I’ve had very ‘good’ sex. I’d just rather do something else with my time.

hairymorag · 12/04/2021 19:36

I have always enjoyed sex and have had good and bad experiences. I view it as being key for my relationship and if there was zero sexual chemistry its a no from me. Obviously I am older now however my OH and i have always had a passionate relationship. Havent had sex for a while now as he is terminally ill and likely wont have again. I am just pleased I enjoyed it when I had the chance.

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