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Original poster

Isn’t sex over rated ?

161 replies

SadFlower98 · 09/04/2021 10:55

Sure it’s lovely in the beginning of a relationship

But other times it’s just a bit meh

Anyone else agree ?

OP posts:
SelkieBeag · 09/04/2021 20:18

Yes, agree, i devalued it to be cool. Now i feel tired and exposed when i think about finding a partner. No. Cant be bothered any more

deeplyambivalent · 09/04/2021 20:37

@TheVanguardSix so sorry. I'm in the same place. You're not alone.

Larahey · 09/04/2021 20:48

My god this thread makes me depressed....no ones ever been able to make me climax I'm just a sorry case. I've never understood why people hype up sex, yes it feels nice in the moment but it lasts all of 5 to ten minutes and that's just it..its just nice 🤷‍♀️

osbertthesyrianhamster · 09/04/2021 20:54

@Larahey

My god this thread makes me depressed....no ones ever been able to make me climax I'm just a sorry case. I've never understood why people hype up sex, yes it feels nice in the moment but it lasts all of 5 to ten minutes and that's just it..its just nice 🤷‍♀️
I feel the same and I've always been able to climax multiple times every time, through penetrative sex and foreplay or both. Still CBA'd
BurbageBrook · 09/04/2021 20:58

I think the PP point about it being life affirming is spot on. For me anyway. Not only does it feel unbelievably good on a physical level but the loving connection with my partner makes me feel truly alive like nothing else.

BurbageBrook · 09/04/2021 20:58

@Larahey can you climax alone?

Sarahtrue11 · 09/04/2021 21:04

I can climax alone all the time.

In my whole life , I have climaxed twice with men.

I think the issue is that a lot of men are too rough and hard with their hands/mouths, and don't like receiving direction.

NutellaEllaElla · 09/04/2021 21:06

Like PP, I climax every time, love my DH intensely, he's generous and good in bed.

But it's not life affirming, doesn't change my (wonderfully close) connection with him and I don't obsess about it. Sometimes we do it several times a week, some times we have long gaps in between.

I'm not doing it wrong. I'm not with the wrong person. It's ok to be up for it all the time, none of the time and all shades in between.

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 09/04/2021 21:07

I used to orgasm everytime with my ex I still found the whole thing utterly boring, all that work for a quick buzz. Single and can't be bothered any more.

Devlesko · 09/04/2021 21:11

@SadFlower98

Sure it’s lovely in the beginning of a relationship

But other times it’s just a bit meh

Anyone else agree ?

Not if you are with the right person. 30 years together and still as exciting as the first time. If it's same old you will be bored.
CaesarsDream · 09/04/2021 21:18

In relationship, if you're not in love/deeply intimate with your partner and they're a knobhead, then it sucks.

If you are with someone who values intimacy and adores you, then it's wonderful.

Likewise, if it's new territory with a potential partner or ONS and there's mutual attraction and effort, sex will be enjoyable. If not, it will be pretty shitty. IME

Larahey · 09/04/2021 21:19

@BurbageBrook yes in a matter of minutes. But even when I get myself there it's never an overwhelmingly good sensation. It feels nice for a about 10 seconds then it's just like okay cool that was that. Makes me feel like I'm doing it wrong but my orgasms just arent breath taking and sex to me just isnt amazing

userxx · 09/04/2021 21:26

@Toilenstripes

In menopause and feel absolutely hormoneless, but back in the day it was great fun.

Yep, fun fun fun or not.

LittleOverwhelmed · 09/04/2021 22:50

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

girlofnow · 09/04/2021 23:34

With this sort of thread you'll get loved up people who say it's the be all and end all and you'll get people who have been there done that and can't be arsed. They are the be all and end all people five years later after marriage/kids and life. But cycle round again and you're separated, meet someone new, sex is great again. For a while. I don't think it's in the. Least important to my life anymore and I'm glad to be free of it. But each to their own.

Branleuse · 09/04/2021 23:41

Im pretty keen on it and always have been. Ive been with dp years and years and we are still having great sex. I dont know why some people seem to lose interest and yet others keep their libido despite long term monogamy, raising family and life stresses etc

Member869894 · 09/04/2021 23:46

After years of loving, wanting, needing sex I'm menopausal and would rather eat cheese and Watch Netflix

Chosennone · 09/04/2021 23:48

Depends on your sex drive. Line was very high in my 30s. I felt intense lust for a series of non committal partners and considered and looked into sex clubs and swinging. Now... I absolutely love a good intense 'session' once maybe twice a month. That'll do.

OhWhyNot · 09/04/2021 23:52

Branleuse because everyone is different

A number of posters have claimed it’s because partner isn’t thoughtful or that it can get better over time that is their experience

For myself after a few years it’s irrelevant how great the sex is or how I feel about that person I just get bored and would like sex with someone else

I don’t think I am unusual to be this way (men are just more open about it) and neither is only wanting sex with the partner you have been with for many years and still finding it exciting

For myself having to spice up my sex life and needing to work at it in this way is an absolute turn off

And great sex for myself isn’t necessarily with someone I’m in love with

We are all different

AnneLovesGilbert · 10/04/2021 00:20

@girlofnow

With this sort of thread you'll get loved up people who say it's the be all and end all and you'll get people who have been there done that and can't be arsed. They are the be all and end all people five years later after marriage/kids and life. But cycle round again and you're separated, meet someone new, sex is great again. For a while. I don't think it's in the. Least important to my life anymore and I'm glad to be free of it. But each to their own.
Perfectly possible to be loved up and having great sex with young children and more than 5 years in, unless I’ve misread your post.
Firebird83 · 10/04/2021 00:23

I agree that it’s exciting at the beginning of a relationship, but just gets boring doing it with the same person all the time.

StarlightLady · 10/04/2021 04:25

Good sex requires passion. If the passion is there it’s lovely.

jclm · 10/04/2021 04:48

@Singlenotsingle

Love my dp dearly, but he's not really interested in sex. I'd like more, but if the alternative is losing him I'll settle for what I get.
I'm in the same boat. Love my DP but he does not have any libido and the last time we had sex was over a year ago. But I'm not prepared to leave for this reason.
merrymelody · 10/04/2021 05:00

Good Lord, no!

Hyperfish101 · 10/04/2021 05:09

All these people saying ‘you’re doing it wrong’.....bit offensive I think. Some people are more sexual than others. It’s just the way it is. Respect that difference.