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Original poster

Isn’t sex over rated ?

161 replies

SadFlower98 · 09/04/2021 10:55

Sure it’s lovely in the beginning of a relationship

But other times it’s just a bit meh

Anyone else agree ?

OP posts:
BurbageBrook · 09/04/2021 14:10

No, it’s brilliant. Maybe your DP is bad in bed.

Northernsoullover · 09/04/2021 14:14

@Toilenstripes

In menopause and feel absolutely hormoneless, but back in the day it was great fun.
Same. I honestly never thought I'd see the day where my libido left the building.
cookiecreampie · 09/04/2021 14:22

If you're with someone you're not attracted to or doesn't make you orgasm then yes it can be boring. With a compatible partner it can be amazing. I've always had a high sex drive and need to orgasm regularly so during the periods in my life I was having mediocre sex, I probably got myself off more than I do now, now I have a satisfying sex life with my husband.

YouJustDoYou · 09/04/2021 14:38

My husband is honestly amazing at sex. I wouldn't swap him or what he can do for anything. Sex just isn't a priority for me, but if I have the mental time for it it's fantastic.

Boho7 · 09/04/2021 14:39

@Pyewackect

I get very grumpy if I don't have a good seeing-too on a regular basis.
😂
justamushypea · 09/04/2021 14:43

@Toilenstripes

In menopause and feel absolutely hormoneless, but back in the day it was great fun.
This is me! I love DH and he is very good at it but I just have zero inclination anymore. Occasionally when we do it's great but I could happily go without
Elsiebear90 · 09/04/2021 14:47

Why can’t some people just understand that not everyone has a high sex drive? It’s not always because you’re having shit sex, I’ve had numerous partners, my fiancée is the best I’ve ever had and makes me orgasm every single time, but I’ve always felt that sex is overhyped.

It’s nice when I do it, and sometimes (not that often) I do really crave it and it’s amazing, but I don’t really understand why some people are so obsessed with it. I’ve always thought since I lost my virginity “is this what all the hype is about?”, I genuinely don’t get it.

PermanentTemporary · 09/04/2021 14:52

I spent 32 years having really not very pleasurable sex and was very much a once a fortnight girl, but everything has changed in perimenopause and I feel deeply deprived without it, probably my favourite hobby. A bit scared of losing all that with menopause but I know it's different for everyone.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 09/04/2021 14:56

@Elsiebear90

Why can’t some people just understand that not everyone has a high sex drive? It’s not always because you’re having shit sex, I’ve had numerous partners, my fiancée is the best I’ve ever had and makes me orgasm every single time, but I’ve always felt that sex is overhyped.

It’s nice when I do it, and sometimes (not that often) I do really crave it and it’s amazing, but I don’t really understand why some people are so obsessed with it. I’ve always thought since I lost my virginity “is this what all the hype is about?”, I genuinely don’t get it.

This! I don't get the "you're just not having sex with the right people" comments. It's like if I said I don't like chocolate and people start saying "you just haven't tried the right chocolate."

Everyone is different, some people are asexual and are not sexually attracted to anyone at all.

daisyjgrey · 09/04/2021 14:57

You're having the wrong type of sex. Or you're having the right sex when the wrong person.

Singlenotsingle · 09/04/2021 15:00

Love my dp dearly, but he's not really interested in sex. I'd like more, but if the alternative is losing him I'll settle for what I get.

TwoBlondes · 09/04/2021 15:02

I don't know, I can't remember

AledsiPad · 09/04/2021 15:03

Boring. So very boring. (With every partner after a while, so obviously my fault Hmm )

justamushypea · 09/04/2021 15:08

@Singlenotsingle
Are you my DH Grin
That is what he says Confused

JSL52 · 09/04/2021 15:09

@AgeLikeWine

If you think sex is overrated, you’re doing it wrong, or doing it with the wrong person.
Not necessarily, I've had sex with quite a few people and I'm just not that bothered. Everyone has a different drive.
Angrymum22 · 09/04/2021 15:11

Through menopause I thought that I’d never have sex again, just no interest but with the help of a little HRT and now my own hormones are not going from one extreme to another I’m definitely back on the horse.
I’d forgotten how much fun it is and DH is loving the return of my libido.
Just a shame we have teenagers in the house, so no jumping of wardrobes for at the moment.

Angrymum22 · 09/04/2021 15:12

*off wardrobes for us

Ratched · 09/04/2021 15:13

@Elsiebear90 spot on!
Pisses me off when i read comments like 'you're with the wrong bloke' or 'he must be crap at sex'.
I have been with tge same man for 40 years. He loves sex. I can take it or leave it. I would rather leave it. I have always rather left it. Nothing has changed, I just am not interested.
He is 'the right bloke' because apart from a few whinges in the early days, he has been supportive of me and never made me feel shit for just not fancying sex.
I assume he was quite good at sex because he had a number of very happy partners before I met him.
I just don't, and never have, enjoyed sex.
I have three (grown up) children, so I clearly did something right😁

I think its brilliant if you love sex, 'worship the knob', could never live without it seventy times a day. Good on ya!
But stop with the partner blaming for those of us who would rather read a good book, eat chocolate and drink wine instead !

FizzyPink · 09/04/2021 15:18

I have a very low sex drive and whilst when we do have sex it’s very enjoyable, a lot of the time I’d rather just have a cuddle and go to sleep.
I do often wonder if coming off the pill would make a difference but I have a friend who was exactly the same so she stopped taking it and she wasn’t any more interested in sex so perhaps not.

Luckily DP is exactly the same and generally too tired from work to notice that we don’t do it much

MiddayMadDog · 09/04/2021 15:21

I used to feel like this but then I found a partner who made me realise that I actually had just been having crap sex all my life.

TheSugarRefiner · 09/04/2021 15:21

I wouldn't say it is overrated but it can vary in quality depending on a number of factors. Emotional connection probably being the most important followed by the environment. If I'm not comfortable then I won't enjoy it as much. Can't understand why some people enjoy doing it in public...

SelkieBeag · 09/04/2021 15:21

I agree, exciting to begin with, then boring.

Glad I'm single and don't have to pretend.

PermanentTemporary · 09/04/2021 15:23

Interesting Midday. I feel like my past sex life was in black and white and it only came into colour in the last 3 years.

Livpool · 09/04/2021 15:24

I love it! But each to their own 🤷🏼‍♀️

TheVanguardSix · 09/04/2021 15:30

It is overrated when you sort of have to tell yourself it is. Not having a go at you OP or anyone. It's more about my own marriage which is void of it completely (DH has all sorts of supposed health-related issues- that's for another thread). I've learned to live without it but it's a silent heartache for me knowing that I will probably, very likely to be honest, never have sex again. I'm 49. It was such a wonderful aspect of being alive. It is so bloody life-affirming, sex is. It is soul food for a relationship! So, not having it at all... well I can't even write about it or I'll get all upset and I can't really go there. Anyway, it is overrated (is the lie I tell myself to get through life without it).

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