The Yorkshire shepherdess and the snowflake generation

[Marcia1989]

www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-9438725/Our-Yorkshire-Farm-star-Amanda-Owen-gave-birth-eighth-child-husband-ASLEEP-upstairs.html

Sorry for link to the Daily Mail. It was the only non-paywalled article but her comments are also reported in The Times and The Telegraph.

She runs a sheep farm in a remote part of Yorkshire and has 9 kids. She thinks that parents do not raise their children to be sufficiently independent, to look after themselves. She didn't really do home-schooling with them because she doesn't want to be a helicopter parent - she expects them to just get on with it. She expects all the kids to help on the farm and they don't really do devices/TV etc. Having watched her TV series, I agree that her kids seem admirably self-sufficient and mature and I do think generally it's really good for children to have some responsibility. But, I do also wonder whether a lack of individual attention is detrimental to them. And there will be some kids who don't get on with it, and is it really right to just leave them to it?

What does everyone think?

@Veterinari To answer your questions...

she doesn't have to say those things but they are implied.

Ok so one DC is at uni. Let's see how the other 8 do.

Sorry but I can't take 'parenting advice' from anyone who chooses to have 9 children while working the land, as that seems counter intuitive given global warming and over-population in the UK.

I don't quite see how she is an expert. If she had 3 kids no one would be interested in her. All it shows is that when you have a huge family, kids have to fend for themselves a lot.

Personally, I think she ought to think more along the lines of 'People in glass houses...' before opening her mouth.

@Viviennemary

I wonder what attracted her to this older man with his 1000 acre farm.

You mean the Tennant farm he doesn't own and that she works on 365 days/year as well as running numerous diversification activities.

Honestly if the best you've got is a snide implication that she's a gold-digger you're going to have to try harder. And maybe reflect on why you feel the need to be so unpleasant about a happy successful woman

I think that they definitely prioritise helping on the farm over education, but the character the kids develop through their home life probably means they are more able to work independently on their education anyway. It helps them learn to be self-starting in all sorts of areas.

I wonder whether actually it is better to focus on developing your child's character, which then has various side-effects like them better engaging with their own education without the parents having to helicopter. I had a very free-range childhood and parents who took no interest in my education beyond saying 'well done' if I passed an exam. I did well academically and was very motivated.

@mermaidsariel

Your user name offers a clue. This thread is depressing. Far better to be stuck as an only child in a flat in London on a PlayStation all day than living a life in the fresh air with animals and loving, present parents. Of course, this is not indicative of all children but why not make sweeping judgments like so many others on this thread?

Your comment about only children "stuck" in flats is far more offensive and judgemental than the comments you don't like.

@mermaidsariel

If you haven’t watched the TV programmes it’s easy to make assumptions. You need to watch them and how they interact. See how they speak to each other and what is going on. Of course it’s edited, but the loving way they interact, their resourcefulness and can do attitude is really admirable.

I think this is a phenomenon in large rural families, sometimes homeschooled families too... they have to get on and be company for each other as doing out of school clubs and playing at friends houses is less available to them. I’ve even seen a shift towards this with my kids in lockdown... having to play with each other in the absence of other kids to play with and less outside influence/peer pressure on how they speak and behave towards each other. It has been one very small silver lining amidst all the activities and social life they’ve missed out on, and the times they’ve driven each other up the wall too.

@RainingBatsAndFrogs her attitude towards teaching is totally what I admire. I still have young kids but I find it really hard to be patient and encouraging, and to include them in what I'm doing.

It's the price of fame.

Yes and no. I suppose I'd be more impressed with her ambition if she worked herself up from a trainee shepherdess to owning her own farm, rather than marrying someone who already owned a farm shortly after arriving as a young trainee Fuck's sake. You know nothing about how hard it is to buy your own farm. Or indeed nothing about farming at all.
Fair play to Amanda she must work incredibly hard. What impresses me is the way she talks to her children and about them
I follow her on Twitter and her posts are incredibly twee though.

@Viviennemary

I wonder what attracted her to this older man with his 1000 acre farm.

It’s not his farm. He’s a tenant farmer. He had two boys from a previous marriage. The judgemental bitching is something to behold on this thread.

[quote MillyMollyMandyish]@Veterinari To answer your questions...

she doesn't have to say those things but they are implied.

Ok so one DC is at uni. Let's see how the other 8 do.

Sorry but I can't take 'parenting advice' from anyone who chooses to have 9 children while working the land, as that seems counter intuitive given global warming and over-population in the UK.

I don't quite see how she is an expert. If she had 3 kids no one would be interested in her. All it shows is that when you have a huge family, kids have to fend for themselves a lot.

Personally, I think she ought to think more along the lines of 'People in glass houses...' before opening her mouth.[/quote]
Right so you admit that you've attacked her based on things you have imagined her saying and your own assumptions. Not based on anything she's actually said.

Sorry but I can't take 'parenting advice' from anyone who chooses to have 9 children while working the land, as that seems counter intuitive given global warming and over-population in the UK.

Where has she given 'parenting advice' ? Again I think you're making assumptions to support your own prejudice.

How does having 9 children and working the land undermine any parenting advice she may actually give? I can understand it undermining advice of carbon footprints and climate change - that may be a bit hypocritical, but she doesn't do that.

She seems to be Twitter and instagram constantly, maybe needs to limit her own screen time and interact with her family more.

Maybe as the dc are so used to her having a phone in her hand filming everything they may grow up to be reality stars too. Not 'soft' ones though, oh nooo.

[quote Marcia1989]@RainingBatsAndFrogs her attitude towards teaching is totally what I admire. I still have young kids but I find it really hard to be patient and encouraging, and to include them in what I'm doing.[/quote]
But we only see what the TV shows.

It's all highly edited.

Who knows what it's like really.

@CaMePlaitPas I'm not referring to anyone as a snowflake. I'm just interested in child-rearing. Particularly because I've got young kids and I'm struggling to give them the childhood I had.

I have noticed a real difference though in my generation between the kids who had urban/suburban upbringings and those who were brought up in the countryside/on farms. My town friends seemed a lot more immature for a lot longer. Now we're in our early thirties they finally seem 'grown up'.

"The judgemental bitching is something to behold on this thread"

Rich coming from someone slagging off only child families.

Put them in a city and would they be streetwise? Well, Raven at least has gone to uni in a city (yes, a small one, but v different from the farm). One assumes that she's doing OK. And actually yes, I'd think that after the adjustment period anyone would need coming from rural to urban, they'd be very well able to find their way around and deal with things.

Put them in an investment bank as a new grad and could they cope with 80 hour weeks? Should anyone have to? But again, I'd suspect they have the stamina and work ethic to do so, yes.

Being able to muck in and muck out are not life's only challenges. Being able to muck in is very valuable and highly prized across the board.

Her idea of independence seems to be to have all the kids helping out with everything or just left to their own devices and to place very little importance on school. Do they 'place very little importance on school'? The children all attend school. Raven has gone to uni; one assumes that if and when any of the others prove academically inclined and ambitious, they'll have the chance to do the same.

baby strapped to her back while she portrayed a shepherdess 'portrayed'? She IS a shepherdess. It's hard and skilled work. She worked hard to become one.

I decided to watch some of 'Our Yorkshire Farm', influenced by this thread. I didn't see much, it isn't really my sort of thing, but they appear to be decent people. I know the husband is a lot older than Mrs Owen but he seems like a fit, not unattractive man. They have a lot in common apart from the children and if appearances are anything to go by, are happy.

The area in which they live is lovely, I went there some years ago and always intended to go back for a holiday. I don't suppose I will now.

@Veterinari I think you must be reading a different article linked to me.

Her comments are around the snowflake generation.
She may not be openly 'giving advice' but she is criticising the way other people bring up their children and saying her way is better.

" Where has she given 'parenting advice' ? Again I think you're making assumptions to support your own prejudice"

I'll give you she doesn't give advice. She just does the smug "our way is best thing"

And yes, I've read all the books and watched her on TV, and follow her on Instagram.

It reminds me a bit of Jamie Oliver being plucked from the River Cafe.

As I said, I like the rural/nature thing, and I don't find her as obnoxious as I find a lot of people on this thread (whose over-investment in defending her at all costs is a bit weird tbh) but I do find her smug and unwilling to counter any argument that doesn't fit in with her worldview. If you read the earlier books, the slant has definitely tilted from what she started off as, to what she's portraying now.

I think she’s pretty detached from reality. I don’t think we’re creating a snowflake generation at all!
Most people are nice people and most children are nice children. Everyone is just doing what is best for their family and lots of different approaches work. I’m very happy with my choices and lifestyle, which are a mile away from this woman but I’m sure our children will all grow up to be kind and hardworking regardless of our differing choices!

'Her comments are around the snowflake generation. She may not be openly 'giving advice' but she is criticising the way other people bring up their children and saying her way is better.'

Exactly which surely therefore encourages some critique of their hands off 'parents evenings are for softies' style of parenting.

I think she comes across as a bit of a twat, to be honest. Did we find out PP saying how good looking she is were her PR?

Put them in a city and would they be streetwise?

You know what, that is not an essential in raising children for me.

There is more to life than creating a street wise child. A street wise child who doesn't know their own worth and responsibilities is not really ready for the street or anywhere else. A well rounded, secure child can be warned and educated at the appropriate age as the need arises. But I don't raise my children to survive on the streets, I raise them to know themselves and what they need to do to be fulfilled and responsible - as this parent seems to do.

@Geamhradh

"The judgemental bitching is something to behold on this thread"

Rich coming from someone slagging off only child families.

What? I didn’t do that. I was saying that most people here are slagging off her big family and implying one child or a small family would be better. There are problems with one child families just as much as large families. It’s a personal choice.

As a side note, why are so many people disliked so intensely just for existing?

If I disliked someone (Piers Morgan disliking MM for instance) I wouldn't broadcast it. It makes people look petty.

I agree with post upthread about Jamie Oliver... it’s a very difficult line to cross from a “this is me welcome to my life” type tv show, to becoming a social influencer. Often these crusades about sugar, school dinners and whatnot come from an earnestly good place - but the sting in the tail is finding yourself defending the sugar content of your own recipes.