The Yorkshire shepherdess and the snowflake generation

[Marcia1989]

www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-9438725/Our-Yorkshire-Farm-star-Amanda-Owen-gave-birth-eighth-child-husband-ASLEEP-upstairs.html

Sorry for link to the Daily Mail. It was the only non-paywalled article but her comments are also reported in The Times and The Telegraph.

She runs a sheep farm in a remote part of Yorkshire and has 9 kids. She thinks that parents do not raise their children to be sufficiently independent, to look after themselves. She didn't really do home-schooling with them because she doesn't want to be a helicopter parent - she expects them to just get on with it. She expects all the kids to help on the farm and they don't really do devices/TV etc. Having watched her TV series, I agree that her kids seem admirably self-sufficient and mature and I do think generally it's really good for children to have some responsibility. But, I do also wonder whether a lack of individual attention is detrimental to them. And there will be some kids who don't get on with it, and is it really right to just leave them to it?

What does everyone think?

Of course she's good-looking @picknmix1984 why do you think she books like a fruitcake?

I am in awe- haven't seen her show or read her books. Have no desire to. But whatever I've read about her, she sounds a remarkable woman. Maybe in her dotage she will be a real life Granny Aching

@MiddleParking

Why is it we’re meant to be bothered about the opinions of this inappropriately dressed, unintelligent-sounding nobody?

Ooh get out of the knife drawer, Mrs Sharp 🙄

In fairness, I think people would warm to her if she wasn't quite so "I'm right and everyone else is wrong/snowflakes/my parenting is right and yours is wrong"

I find the idea of shepherdessing in rural Yorkshire fascinating. And I'd love to see and hear more about it. But no, I'm not interested in hearing a woman diss other people's choices and ways of parenting just because they're different to hers.

They seem an absolutely wonderful family, and I would agree many children are mollycoddled, DH & I am definitely guilty of mollycoddling our DS’.

@middleager

How does the children's education work?

They go to school!

All the children from large (4+ children) families I knew growing up have chosen to have 2 or fewer, with a fairly high proportion (of my friends) choosing not to have children

Yes, I'm from a family of 4 kids... 2 of us had 2, one had none, and one had 3 (I'm not sure the last was entirely planned :) )

I raise my kids completely differently to her (all the gadgets all the way), but they're also independent enough, caring and polite.

There's no one way to raise kids that's correct

@MiddleParking

Why is it we’re meant to be bothered about the opinions of this inappropriately dressed, unintelligent-sounding nobody?

Interesting that you're so unbothered and uninterested that you know what she wears and came in a thread specifically to comment

And @picknmix1984 cane on here specifically to criticise her looks and brains.

You two sound delightful. I assume you're both supermodel Mensa members since you certainly aren't winning awards for decency and kindness?

She looks like a normal 46 year old woman who spends a lot of time outdoors which is very refreshing, she has a few wrinkles as we all do at that age and good on her for not feeling the pressure to fill her face with botox.

I'm sure her kids do benefit from having little screen time but I do wonder how they feel having to compete for time, I have two aged 6 and 8 and they get jealous sometimes over who's sitting on my lap, or reading with me etc. I imagine it must be hard being one of 9.

I don’t agree with a lot of her methods but she’s right in general - parents are raising a woke snowflake generation that have no emotional resilience and don’t know how to look after themselves or survive in the real world.

It wouldn't have worked for us. But my kids were diagnosed with SEN at the ages of 12 & 13 respectively. Even without the diagnoses I knew they needed a lot more input/support than I had ever intended.

@Amrapaali Personally I don't think she is. If you stuck her in 'Yorkshire Life' she would look drab by comparison. Her fashion sense seems weird. She just looks a bit 'kooky' but then you would have to be to have 9 kids on a farm!

I think any ideology-driven, highly stylised 'lifestyle' only works if you have children who do what it says on the tin. I would feel very sorry for a child of hers who didn't fit the mould, was emotionally more needy for whatever perfectly valid reason, struggled with bullying or minor learning difficulties, or other issues that wouldn't be picked up or dealt with appropriately.

I work in a rural school and teach a lot of farm kids. They're a very particular breed!! They're very skilled and independent. Think driving tractors at 7 or 8 years old and being given their own animals to rear or crops to grow from a very young age. Their approach to school and academic learning can be a little haphazard but they are often the kindest, most generous and respectful kids you could wish to teach. My 80s suburban upbringing would look snowflaky to a lot of today's rural families even though it would appear distinctly 'free range' to a lot of urban or suburban kids of today.

The kids are very close to each other and they are together a lot as a family. She involves them in all she does around the farm. They are very resourceful, intelligent and mature. The eldest is at uni doing medicine.

@Hoppythehippo This too. Farm kids have acres they can roam in relative safety compared to most other kids.

The older children are at school 2 hours drive away so they spend hours every day on a bus. So not as great as it may seem

I used to think she was fabulous and still love the programmes. I follow her on IG too. Or at least I did. She's starting to sound super smug and doesn't seem as 'real' as she did when it first started.
Nobody could raise their kids the way she does if they didn't live on a rural farm surrounded by acres of land.
It's a bit like listening to a rich person saying private education is the only way to educate your kids when you couldn't afford to do it yourself.

I have noticed she wears quite weird clothes for someone on a farm. Lots of jewellery and heavy make up too. It does jar. I wonder if it’s all going to her head a bit. She runs an air B and B and owns two farmhouses now. She’s doing well.

Anyone who trudges about the moors with an armful of jangling bangles, wearing a mini skirt, is a force to be reckoned with in my book.

The children are delightful, real characters.

Only time will tell if she got it right.

On the other hand, my DC are able to look after themselves. I don't need anymore telling me that my parenting is sh*.
My DC can cook, do their own laundry, keep themselves clean as well as their rooms and arrive in school on time.

I always thought that DC are able to do most of these things by the time they are 12/13.

Lately I've thoightshes beginning to sound like a bit of a plonker tbh but I really can't fault her based on the kids being so wonderful. I don't even like kids (other than my own ), but honestly all those children are a credit to her and the husband.

@mermaidsariel

I have noticed she wears quite weird clothes for someone on a farm. Lots of jewellery and heavy make up too. It does jar. I wonder if it’s all going to her head a bit. She runs an air B and B and owns two farmhouses now. She’s doing well.

Saucer of milk?

I admire her. I ‘m not meaning to be bitchy at all but sorry if that’s the way it’s coming across.

@Toomuchleopard

The older children are at school 2 hours drive away so they spend hours every day on a bus. So not as great as it may seem

The school bus takes two hours. They are actually about half an hour away from the secondary school which is pretty standard in a rural area.

I agree with her. I don't think she is specifically saying that all kids should be brought up as if they were on a farm, just that there is a generation of children that aren't really expected to grow up, possibly because most families only have one or two children these days and can put a lot of effort into them.

But we have reached a point where lots of perfectly capable children aren't having to lift a finger or fight their own battles. They aren't becoming resilient and we are doing them a massive disservice not giving them the skills to deal with adversity and the word no.

I think what she is trying to say is it's ok to make younger children get themselves dressed, make their own sandwiches, be bored etc. They won't break.

I don’t think she realises how fortunate she is. Letting your kids be semi feral/independent is great on a farm (same sort of childhood I had) but can’t be done for 90% of households.

It’s great her kids can have that sort of independence which I do believe gives them confidence. But it’s a bit unfair to them slag off kids who haven’t had those same opportunities.

The term “snowflake” against the younger generation is pigeon holing and a bit ageist.