Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

The Yorkshire shepherdess and the snowflake generation

507 replies

Marcia1989 · 06/04/2021 17:19

www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-9438725/Our-Yorkshire-Farm-star-Amanda-Owen-gave-birth-eighth-child-husband-ASLEEP-upstairs.html

Sorry for link to the Daily Mail. It was the only non-paywalled article but her comments are also reported in The Times and The Telegraph.

She runs a sheep farm in a remote part of Yorkshire and has 9 kids. She thinks that parents do not raise their children to be sufficiently independent, to look after themselves. She didn't really do home-schooling with them because she doesn't want to be a helicopter parent - she expects them to just get on with it. She expects all the kids to help on the farm and they don't really do devices/TV etc. Having watched her TV series, I agree that her kids seem admirably self-sufficient and mature and I do think generally it's really good for children to have some responsibility. But, I do also wonder whether a lack of individual attention is detrimental to them. And there will be some kids who don't get on with it, and is it really right to just leave them to it?

What does everyone think?

OP posts:
Veterinari · 07/04/2021 10:46

[quote MillyMollyMandyish]@Veterinari I think you must be reading a different article linked to me.

Her comments are around the snowflake generation.
She may not be openly 'giving advice' but she is criticising the way other people bring up their children and saying her way is better.[/quote]
So you think raising children without a work ethic or sense of independence is ok?

That is what she's criticised. It doesn't sound unreasonable, but it certainly doesn't apply to everyone, so it's odd to get defensive to the point of creating a narrative of things she hasn't said in order to unfairly portray her, if her comments are is irrelevant to you and you're secure in your own choices.

Veterinari · 07/04/2021 10:47

@movingadvice

I think she comes across as a bit of a twat, to be honest. Did we find out PP saying how good looking she is were her PR?
Yep because women only have value if they're classically beautiful.

Without that we're worthless

If you're a misogynistic arsehole

Rupertbeartrousers · 07/04/2021 10:49

@ladyvimes

I think she’s pretty detached from reality. I don’t think we’re creating a snowflake generation at all! Most people are nice people and most children are nice children. Everyone is just doing what is best for their family and lots of different approaches work. I’m very happy with my choices and lifestyle, which are a mile away from this woman but I’m sure our children will all grow up to be kind and hardworking regardless of our differing choices!
Great post

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

SueSaid · 07/04/2021 10:54

'As a side note, why are so many people disliked so intensely just for existing?'

Oh I dont dislike them for existing. I just find their high profile media presence with constant TV series at odds with their supposed basic lifestyle. There surely isn't any more they can tell us.

All Dc deserve a bit of privacy growing up. Of course these kids don't object because it is all they've known. A one off TV programme would have been understandable but the constant footage, interviews and aren't we worthy and everyone else isn't is a bit excessive.

Alsohuman · 07/04/2021 10:54

Put them in an investment bank as a new grad and could they cope with 80 hour weeks?

Why would they have to? That would be a circle of hell for most people, let alone someone who grew up in beautiful rural surroundings. Hopefully they’ll do more useful things with their lives than make other people money.

MyPatchworkQuilt · 07/04/2021 10:57

All her children won't go into farming, they'll apply themselves to other things. I don't really see what the news is, one family doing an ok job of raising kids. I'm sure there are things to take from her attitude BUT there are many different ways to raise a family.

MillyMollyMandyish · 07/04/2021 11:01

@Veterinari You assume too much and invent things that I've not said.
I am not being remotely defensive. My children are grown up, living independently, high achievers, happy, rounded young people.

But I am allowed to disagree with someone taking pot shots at other parenting styles, when her own life choices are questionable for all kinds of reasons.

MillyMollyMandyish · 07/04/2021 11:02

@Alsohuman

Put them in an investment bank as a new grad and could they cope with 80 hour weeks?

Why would they have to? That would be a circle of hell for most people, let alone someone who grew up in beautiful rural surroundings. Hopefully they’ll do more useful things with their lives than make other people money.

Like rearing animals for people to eat instead with the money they earn Grin
Marcia1989 · 07/04/2021 11:04

I think, from what I've seen of their approach via the TV programmes, that they are a good combination of old-fashioned 'free range' parenting with the modern attitude towards teaching and nurturing. I think we could all take a lot from that. I know I can.

OP posts:
Marcia1989 · 07/04/2021 11:04

Certainly no one has to agree it's the only way to do it. It just appeals to me.

OP posts:
Alsohuman · 07/04/2021 11:07

Like rearing animals for people to eat instead with the money they earn

Yes that. Far better than making the bloated rich even more bloated. Unless you think feeding people isn’t important?

GappyValley · 07/04/2021 11:14

Put them in an investment bank as a new grad and could they cope with 80 hour weeks?

Farmers daughter turned investment banker here!
I would say the work ethic, the ‘don’t put off til tomorrow a job that can be done in today’s weather’ and the 7-day-a-week mentality of my childhood is exactly what has allowed me to succeed in the City as an adult.

My farming family think I’m insane to do this job and don’t really understand what I do, but I’ll be able to retire in my 40s and play at hobby farming to give DC the best of city and country life

Oh, and the admin, economics, bureaucracy, regulation of farming - probably sets you up for a city career as much as anything else.

It’s not just feeding pretty lambkins and driving quad bikes
You are dealing with horrific DEFRA paperwork and working out when and how to order inputs and modelling potentially income from diversification options...

SecretCiderCellar · 07/04/2021 11:16

Did she once feature on Ben Fogle's programme about lives in the world or maybe someone else's about something similar years ago? I definitely saw a programme about the family a while back, and was vaguely aware of her books etc.

I don't have any strong feelings either way -- apart from being the eldest of a large family in which both parents were similarly primarily concerned with making ends meet, meaning I spent my childhood caring for the younger ones and never getting any individual attention at all, and it really not being a happy set of memories.

But it does seem to me that her hands-off parenting is a necessity because she has so many children and an absorbing 24/7 job -- she and her husband simply doesn't have time to give their children much attention, so it seems a bit much to preach it as something other people should aspire to.

'In order to make a big family work they all need to tow the line. It's not about child labour - it's about pulling together,' Owen told the Daily Mail in an article in 2018.

It may not be about children helping out on the farm, which is entirely normal, but the children are 'towing the line', because their parents' decision to keep having children means they have to. Amanda said that after a week of homeschooling, she stopped logging in and 'threw it back to them.'

'Children have to be independent. I can't be a helicopter parent. We read the papers and they show me some of their projects, but I have yet to be at a single parents' evening. I did pretty poorly at my exams, but look at what I have achieved since then.'

It's hardly 'helicopter parenting' to keep up with your child's school work and yes, it was hard for all of us who were working FT and homeschooling during lockdown and attend the odd parent-teacher meeting.

'The snowflake generation, they can't do anything,' Owen told the Radio Times.

'They don't know anything about how to look after themselves, or a work ethic, all of that has gone out of the window. It's our fault as parents.

'If you put your child on a pedestal, with no sense of independence, and think you have got to entertain them the whole time, what can you expect?

'I rebuff swaddling children, because I want to see them go on and do well and be themselves, whatever that is. I feel like it is their life and all I do is prepare them.

Surely she 'rebuffs swaddling children' because that stops being an option when you have that many, and when any kind of individual attention or adaptation is impossible? It's easier to claim it's a philosophy, when in fact it's a throwback to past times when contraception was unavailable, family size was uncontrolled, and children weren't viewed as needing more than food and clothes.

'What we do on the farm, hopefully, is preparation for the big world. The lessons they get here will stand them in good stead.'

I think that one of the lessons her children will have learned is that their parents simply don't literally have time for them, but have kept having children nonetheless. And her elder children, based on my own experience, will have learned not to bother their parents with their problems and get on with looking after the younger ones.

And her husband had two children from his first marriage before he met her. That is a lot of children.

SecretCiderCellar · 07/04/2021 11:17

Lives in the Wild, sorry!

Veterinari · 07/04/2021 11:19

[quote MillyMollyMandyish]@Veterinari You assume too much and invent things that I've not said.
I am not being remotely defensive. My children are grown up, living independently, high achievers, happy, rounded young people.

But I am allowed to disagree with someone taking pot shots at other parenting styles, when her own life choices are questionable for all kinds of reasons.[/quote]
So you didn't falsely accuse her of calling people snowflakes for not being able to ride a quad bike or drive a tractor then?
And you didn't accuse her of condemning : children and families who can't muck in and do physical work.

I just 'invented' that did I? Right ohConfused
You might want to reread your posts.

I've no idea what your kids are like and tbh I'm not sure it's relevant. Unlike you, I've no interest in criticising someone else's parenting. If your DC are independent and well rounded then good for you. Seems a shame you feel the need to create imaginary slurs to drag another woman down

Frequentflier · 07/04/2021 11:20

This is wild.... My only question: couldn't she just have woken up Clive to help with the birth? apparently her terrier is more useful than her husband.

No doubt some posters on here will say I am jealous, but I assure you I am not jealous of anyone with 9 children:)

MillyMollyMandyish · 07/04/2021 11:27

@Veterinari Maybe you don't know how your own posts come across?
Why are you even bothering to post and join in the discussion if not to criticise other posters?
This is a forum to debate topics. I don't agree with what AO said or how she behaves. That's not 'casting a slur' , it's having a different opinion.

Chicchicchicchiclana · 07/04/2021 11:28

I won't click on a Daily Mail link but I couldn't be less interested in the opinion of such a selfish and irresponsible woman. Her values are shameful, why does she think she's so great? Ugh.

derxa · 07/04/2021 11:31

@GappyValley

Put them in an investment bank as a new grad and could they cope with 80 hour weeks?

Farmers daughter turned investment banker here!
I would say the work ethic, the ‘don’t put off til tomorrow a job that can be done in today’s weather’ and the 7-day-a-week mentality of my childhood is exactly what has allowed me to succeed in the City as an adult.

My farming family think I’m insane to do this job and don’t really understand what I do, but I’ll be able to retire in my 40s and play at hobby farming to give DC the best of city and country life

Oh, and the admin, economics, bureaucracy, regulation of farming - probably sets you up for a city career as much as anything else.

It’s not just feeding pretty lambkins and driving quad bikes
You are dealing with horrific DEFRA paperwork and working out when and how to order inputs and modelling potentially income from diversification options...

Well said. Growing up on a farm is a good grounding for most jobs. But in the end I always wanted to come back. I've just finished lambing. It's hell but enjoyable hell. Yes to the paperwork and bureaucracy. We recently had a farm inspection via WhatsApp which had to be backed up by reams of paper evidence. It's not all fluffy lambs.
Veterinari · 07/04/2021 11:38

[quote MillyMollyMandyish]@Veterinari Maybe you don't know how your own posts come across?
Why are you even bothering to post and join in the discussion if not to criticise other posters?
This is a forum to debate topics. I don't agree with what AO said or how she behaves. That's not 'casting a slur' , it's having a different opinion.[/quote]
You're welcome to your opinion - it's just a shame that it's based on things she hasn't actually said and your own biases and assumptions

You've invented things she's said
You've suggested her children or children from similar backgrounds wouldn't be successful in cities or as investment bankers - as several other posters have pointed out, this is clearly nonsense.

If you want to base your opinion on your own prejudice, and imaginings and then use that to publicly criticise someone else's children and parenting then you are perfectly at liberty to do that

Just seems needlessly unpleasant and irrational to me

MillyMollyMandyish · 07/04/2021 11:43

Just seems needlessly unpleasant and irrational to me

Funny you should say that.

(after spending half the morning being unpleasant )

SueSaid · 07/04/2021 11:43

'But I am allowed to disagree with someone taking pot shots at other parenting styles, when her own life choices are questionable for all kinds of reasons.'

Indeed.

'It's hardly 'helicopter parenting' to keep up with your child's school work and yes, it was hard for all of us who were working FT and homeschooling during lockdown and attend the odd parent-teacher meeting.'

Yes boring home schooling! not quite as exciting as selective farming tales. What next, children's my life on't farm story books and basic no frills not for softies recipe books? Plenty more ££££ to be wrung out if you ask me.

Alsohuman · 07/04/2021 11:52

@Chicchicchicchiclana

I won't click on a Daily Mail link but I couldn't be less interested in the opinion of such a selfish and irresponsible woman. Her values are shameful, why does she think she's so great? Ugh.
So you don’t know anything about her but you’ll criticise her anyway. Typical MN.
Veterinari · 07/04/2021 11:52

@MillyMollyMandyish

Just seems needlessly unpleasant and irrational to me

Funny you should say that.

(after spending half the morning being unpleasant )

Where was I unpleasant?

I haven't criticised any one else's parenting choices, or made up lies to support my points

What I have done is point out a lot of the inaccuracies and judgment on this thread because I'm sick to death of successful women being criticised for their looks and lifestyle. If you think challenging inaccurate assumptions is unkind then I guess we just have different moral perspectives

mermaidsariel · 07/04/2021 11:58

@Chicchicchicchiclana

I won't click on a Daily Mail link but I couldn't be less interested in the opinion of such a selfish and irresponsible woman. Her values are shameful, why does she think she's so great? Ugh.
What on Earth are you going on about? Selfish and irresponsible? Why?? Her views are shameful? What utter nonsense
Swipe left for the next trending thread