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At what age does a weekend feel like a ‘break’ when you have kids?

181 replies

kalokoli · 05/04/2021 09:19

We’ve got a 15 month old and pretty full on jobs, and at the end of the week the weekend just feels like more hard work! In some ways when it gets to Monday it feels like we’re getting more of a rest going back to work!

It might be worse because of Covid and how little there is to do at the moment, and also we think our son potentially isn’t the easiest child. We get lots of moments of real joy from him but he’s also extremely quick to cry and scream if we do anything other than intensely interact with him eg unloading the dishwasher or other household tasks or even just chatting to each other for a few minutes. And he screams in the car and will often have meltdowns if we try to go out for more than an hour or so on eg a nice country walk which means we tend to just hang around the house. Hard to tell if this is just normal baby/toddler behaviour though as we don’t know any others!

We try to do shifts so that we each get some time off to ourselves at the weekend, but really we’d like to spend time all together as a family but have it actually feel like a restful break after a week of work rather than be exhausted at the end of it! This is probably wishful thinking for the immediate future but we were wondering at what age it might start to feel like the weekend is actually a break and you end it feeling ready for the week ahead?!

OP posts:
crashbandicootwarped · 05/04/2021 10:35

When they can get up, make themselves breakfast and entertain themselves safely u til you wake.

The earlier you facilitate this the better.

Cereal and bowls etc that are kid friendly and easily reached. Milk in a jug they can lift and pour etc.

TalkedTooMuchStayedTooLong · 05/04/2021 10:40

@crashbandicootwarped

When they can get up, make themselves breakfast and entertain themselves safely u til you wake.

The earlier you facilitate this the better.

Cereal and bowls etc that are kid friendly and easily reached. Milk in a jug they can lift and pour etc.

My friend and I labelled this stage "cereal independence"! Yes, it's a breakthrough...

I have Ds16 and DTs 13 and I'd say weekends started to feel like a "break" about 4 years ago... this coincided with my XH leaving so he may be a factor in that!

Ikora · 05/04/2021 10:43

When DS was about that age we used to let him roll around on the floor of our bedroom and he had a toy basket so we could have longer in bed. He would also come in to bed between us. When he got older we used to all watch tv in bed together on Saturday morning. Then it was off to his football match each week from age six for ten years. Used to enjoy chatting to other parents and one woman and me are still very close friends. Then he would clean up in the car and change out of his kit and we went out for lunch. Occasionally a pub meal if an away match but usually to a lovely Thai restaurant and they would cook stuff off menu for us.

Every weekend felt like a break, not having to commute in to the city centre through horrific rush hour traffic and DH off 25 miles down the motorway for 2 days was great.

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Joeblack066 · 05/04/2021 10:44

All some people do these days is whinge.
Stop and take a look at yourself.
You have a job, kids, a partner; things that many many people can only dream of.
Did you think parenthood would be all Insta and Hinch?

MeadowHay · 05/04/2021 10:45

@Beetlewing

I have a 30 year old and when adult children decide to descend on you because it's the weekend and they've got nothing else to do.....
Haha, I'm about that age, wait til they start bringing the grandkids round too Grin (sorry mum and dad!!!)
MeadowHay · 05/04/2021 10:46

@Joeblack066

All some people do these days is whinge. Stop and take a look at yourself. You have a job, kids, a partner; things that many many people can only dream of. Did you think parenthood would be all Insta and Hinch?
Aren't you just whinging in this post, albeit about other people? Confused No need to be rude, people are perfectly entitled to vent about the difficulties of being a parent, are you trying to say it's all rainbows and sunshine every second of the day?? Most the responses have been quite light-hearted anyway.
Clymene · 05/04/2021 10:49

Fgs give the poor woman so me hope! Even 4 year olds are easier than babies but I don't think they get less demanding much before then.

When you can leave the room and go and make a cup of tea and eat your breakfast in peace, life feels a lot less stressful. When they have a decent bedtime routine and they go to bed so you get your evenings back.

Obviously there are other demands of parenting as they get older but it's not the same.

MeadowHay · 05/04/2021 10:51

@Clymene

Fgs give the poor woman so me hope! Even 4 year olds are easier than babies but I don't think they get less demanding much before then.

When you can leave the room and go and make a cup of tea and eat your breakfast in peace, life feels a lot less stressful. When they have a decent bedtime routine and they go to bed so you get your evenings back.

Obviously there are other demands of parenting as they get older but it's not the same.

To be honest we've been able to do the breakfast thing most of the time since ours was about 2.5 and reliable early bedtime has been since she was about 1. Mine isn't even 3 yet. I guess it's just so variable as it depends on the child.
LivingDeadGirlUK · 05/04/2021 10:53

Mine is nearly 4 and still needs a lot of input tbh. We take turns to lie in/do something for ourselves while the other entertains him, but he will play on his own now for a bit which is a breakthrough!

AnotherSoddingWalk · 05/04/2021 10:54

When they get to secondary school age is when it got easier for me. Life is bliss now our kids are 16 and 14. I longed for these days!

absolutelyknackeredcow · 05/04/2021 10:54

6 and 8 definitely - mine are now 10 and 8 and I do get chunks of time especially when they are playing out in the garden.

But we never ever get more than an hour to ourselves in the evening - our children have always gone to bed late whatever we do they are wired this way. It's very annoying as there is very limited adult time. I know this is going to get worse

JustPootlingAlong · 05/04/2021 10:55

My baby is 13 months old and I do feel like I am getting my life and weekends back a bit. She is so good and is happy to be dragged around in a pram by my husband while I ride my horses.
I do think it will get much harder when she starts wanting to move though and then I will be counting down to when she can be a bit more independent!

idontlikealdi · 05/04/2021 11:03

From around age 5/6 for Dts when they could come down independently and occupy themselves for a bit. Tbh if there was only one of them it would have been younger but they had a habit for getting into serious mischief without supervision.

maddiemookins16mum · 05/04/2021 11:15

For us it was about 3 years old.

shinynewapple21 · 05/04/2021 11:18

I think 15 months is a very difficult age .

I'm probably looking back with rose-tinted specs but I think from around age 3-4 things felt a lot more relaxed . I only have one DC and work part time so that may have a lot to do with it. I also never felt guilty at using CBeebies to give me the chance to put my feet up. Ages 9 - 15 there were sports and music activities to go to, but I used to spend the time with a coffee and magazine , so not exactly hard work!

KeyboardWorriers · 05/04/2021 11:21

Just don't let them have any hobbies Grin I have spent what feels like my whole weekend helping out with one club or another... I did an 8 hour day on the water with their sailing club on Sunday!

shinynewapple21 · 05/04/2021 11:22

@Joeblack066

All some people do these days is whinge. Stop and take a look at yourself. You have a job, kids, a partner; things that many many people can only dream of. Did you think parenthood would be all Insta and Hinch?

And there was me thinking MN was a place for parents to support one another .

stressbandit · 05/04/2021 11:25

6,4,15months I hate weekends. Monday always feel "normal" to me!

Fifipop185 · 05/04/2021 11:25

Mine are 16 and 12 and some weekends I barely see them and other times they're round my neck like they're 6 and 2 all over again claiming they're bored / hungry / he's breathing on me go away....
I do sometimes miss them being little but I also love them this age - still have busy weekends of housework and helping eldest with revision / job searching... Grin

thirstyformore · 05/04/2021 11:26

12 and nearly 8....this last 12 months has really seen a change. 12 year old is out with a friend, 7 year is on his computer chatting to friends and playing games.

We're watching Line of Duty! Definitely more relaxing than it was a few years ago.

blondie87 · 05/04/2021 11:31

I have three: 5, 4 & 1. When the older two were babies/toddlers it was very intense and hard work. Now, it’s brilliant! They play together really well, will sit and read, play Lego etc. Also, they like to help us do jobs in the garden etc so it’s much more enjoyable. The baby has just started walking so he’s happy to pad about with us. So I think it’s when they are early primary age.

whitehat · 05/04/2021 11:38

DD is 18 and now stays with her boyfriend at weekends. The teen years, while they are relatively self sufficient, involved weekends driving around for sport/parties/shopping/concerts, picking up at stupid o'clock for parties and all the associated stress of worrying about drink/drugs etc, feeding and hosting teens who suddenly turn up for sleepovers/after rows with parents etc.

I'm now casually wondering about how marvellous and serene life would be if I moved down to the coast somewhere when she's left home altogether (helped by the fact I managed to jettison XH last year).

For all of this OP, enjoy it while it lasts. I miss those days (easy to say now, I know! ).

skeggycaggy · 05/04/2021 11:42

@KeyboardWorriers

Just don't let them have any hobbies Grin I have spent what feels like my whole weekend helping out with one club or another... I did an 8 hour day on the water with their sailing club on Sunday!
I hear you! I was up at 5.20 on Friday, & 6.30 on Sunday to take DC1 and DC2 to their showjumping competitions Grin
Montsti · 05/04/2021 12:08

It depends on the child or how many children you have..

I have 4...11, 8, 6, 3.5.

It’s easier now than it was when we just had one 3 year old as my youngest 3 (all girls) play together (and fight!). It’s much easier now and I’m sure it will just get easier (once the 3 year old eventually sleeps through the night...). My 11 year old boy is easy. Does his own thing if need be..the 3 year old is the only one that requires extra attention..

ZenNudist · 05/04/2021 12:30

7 and 10yo boys. No chance. Currently trying to chill whilst someone noisily hula hoops for approval 3 ft away

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