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Original poster

At what age does a weekend feel like a ‘break’ when you have kids?

181 replies

kalokoli · 05/04/2021 09:19

We’ve got a 15 month old and pretty full on jobs, and at the end of the week the weekend just feels like more hard work! In some ways when it gets to Monday it feels like we’re getting more of a rest going back to work!

It might be worse because of Covid and how little there is to do at the moment, and also we think our son potentially isn’t the easiest child. We get lots of moments of real joy from him but he’s also extremely quick to cry and scream if we do anything other than intensely interact with him eg unloading the dishwasher or other household tasks or even just chatting to each other for a few minutes. And he screams in the car and will often have meltdowns if we try to go out for more than an hour or so on eg a nice country walk which means we tend to just hang around the house. Hard to tell if this is just normal baby/toddler behaviour though as we don’t know any others!

We try to do shifts so that we each get some time off to ourselves at the weekend, but really we’d like to spend time all together as a family but have it actually feel like a restful break after a week of work rather than be exhausted at the end of it! This is probably wishful thinking for the immediate future but we were wondering at what age it might start to feel like the weekend is actually a break and you end it feeling ready for the week ahead?!

OP posts:
Beetlewing · 05/04/2021 09:38

I have a 30 year old and when adult children decide to descend on you because it's the weekend and they've got nothing else to do.....

NotOnMute · 05/04/2021 09:39

For me, it was when reading clicked for both of them (as in, reading fluently for pleasure). That’s the point I could reliably get a clear half an hour or more to sit down with a cup of tea and my own book, or to do chores.

Fountainsoftea · 05/04/2021 09:39

When they're able to communicate with their mates on xbox. They might get up early at weekends, to chat to mates, but we don't have to.

Also useful if another kid lives near, so they can spend time in each other's gardens. So... from around age 8bor 9ish.

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hellswelshy · 05/04/2021 09:40

I would probably say around 5? I have twin dds and at 5 they are able to play a bit more independently and also go to bed early enough for you and dp to get a bit of an evening to yourselves!

Dustyhedge · 05/04/2021 09:40

I have noticed things getting a bit easier now my youngest is 2 and is starting to play with my 4yo. We still get a nap so I do get a bit of down time. 6 months ago we were definitely more knackered after a weekend. I also think once more is opened up it will feel easier again. Slightly dismayed by posters with older children saying still doesn’t feel like a break. I was hoping it would feel that way soon.

Luckystar1 · 05/04/2021 09:40

My oldest is 6. He can play with his Lego for hours on his own. Middle one is 4, she is happy to play alone or with the older one, but will frequently need me to intervene in some extremely minor misdemeanour.

The baby is a baby... so I’ll be back to square one once he reaches 9 months or so 😬

Fountainsoftea · 05/04/2021 09:40

And during ld, because we're not up and out for activities on sat/sun mornings. Although that also makes me sad.

CherryAndAlmond · 05/04/2021 09:41

@billybagpuss

When they get weekend jobs, 22 & 24 still cannot watch a film without having to pause it multiple times
Does that suit you billybagpuss? Because it made me feel really sad for you. 22 and 24 and they can't let you watch a film in peace? I have teens, demanding in many ways, but they would get short shrift from me if they did this. Yours are adults!
Clydie89 · 05/04/2021 09:41

I think your wee one does sound like hard work but also completely normal for the age. He maybe he needs a quiet weekend after a full on week at nursery & over stimulation? My 20m old is very like you described when she's tired, but otherwise can be a wee ray of sunshine (mixed with roadrunner).

I think sleep for parents is oh so important at this age too, the better she's been the more able I am to handle her and enjoy our time. My husband and I do mornings about for a lie in at the weekend now and it's been fab so I'd say I do enjoy weekends now, but I'm aware this will go back to being hectic again especially when she drops her nap!

OneKeyAtATime · 05/04/2021 09:42

I am jealous of the poster whose 6 year old is still in bed!

I have found that when they start primary you can start doing slightly more interesting things. A couple of days ago I met up with a friend for outdoor coffee. The kids played outside and didn't bother us for a couple of hours.

Fountainsoftea · 05/04/2021 09:42

And it depends on what you do. Some weekends are full on- bike rides, walks etc. Other weekends are basically screen a thons, with a game of Uno thrown in so I don't feel like I'm totally ignoring them.

Lavera9 · 05/04/2021 09:43

When they’re old enough to entertain themselves - when I had two children (I now have three children) they were age 4 and age 3 when that independent play together started.

Now my youngest is 4 and the children (usually) play together all morning until we go out, and then entertain each other when we’re out.

Youngest wakes up at the crack of dawn though! So that means there are no lie ins. But the weekend does feel like a break.

HollyHocks13 · 05/04/2021 09:44

Mine are 11, 13 and 15. Weekends definitely feel like a break now but they never want to do anything with us and we barely see them as they're either out with their mates or in their rooms... I miss the days when we did stuff as a family!

Themostwonderfultimeoftheyear · 05/04/2021 09:45

From 4 for me, only have the one which speeds up the process I think.

DelurkingAJ · 05/04/2021 09:46

Things are easier now DSs are 8 and 5. But still tiring. Everyone I know says when they both sleep through...and DS2 is still hit and miss Hmm.

I miss the weekend activities because DH works on Saturdays and that used to give me structure and 1:1 time with each of them whereas now we’re off on a walk or to the playground and it’s a bit Groundhog Day!

ZombeaArthur · 05/04/2021 09:47

Mine are 3 and 5 and I find the weekends to be a break, however I’m an early riser and I’m almost always awake before the kids. I also get up really early for work, so anything after 6 feels like a lie-in for me. I work part-time, so having my husband off work for two days is also a bit of a break, but I can imagine it may not feel that way if you both work full-time.

Teentitansonloop · 05/04/2021 09:47

My DD is 4, I'm a single parent, and we both spend weekends relaxing together. Watch tv, lunch in park, meet friends. Last night we got a takeaway. It's fab now, much easier than when in was on my own with a toddler.

rosy71 · 05/04/2021 09:47

Mine are 16 and 13 and now my weekends are definitely a break and I can do my own thing! It changes as they grow older but now they can go out without me. Once they get to about 8 or so, it's much easier but then they start with all the weekend things - football, swimming etc.- that you have to take them to. When they become teenagers, they sleep lots too!

billybagpuss · 05/04/2021 09:47

@CherryAndAlmond Sometimes it’s ok, it’s usually if we start watching something when they’re at work at they want to chat when they get home, but covid has been hard with everyone being about.

PoptartPoptart · 05/04/2021 09:49

Around 13-14 Grin
I barely see DS now, he spends most of his time in his room chatting to his mates on the PlayStation.
I do miss spending time with him, but it is also lovely to finally get my weekends back.

bishbashbosh99 · 05/04/2021 09:49

Have to admit that mine are 2 and 6 months and the weekend is lovely together. We do also both take a nap or rest upstairs for a couple of hours each which Is so nice. When I empty the dishwasher I get mine to help, only with silicone or plastic but maybe that would help with the screaming?

Di11y · 05/04/2021 09:52

Welll sometimes it's a break with my 3yo and 7yo because they watch TV for an hour or 2 in the mornings so I get a lie in and they are good playing together. Sometimes they fight over the stupidest things (who got the pink paint brush this morning). Difficult at the mo because DH broke his ankle so all chores on me.

usernotfound0000 · 05/04/2021 09:54

6 and 2.5 here and it is definitely getting easier. They play together really well for good chunks of time and will sit and watch a full together. I do have odd snippets of time where I am at a loose end because they are happily playing and I'm looking for things to do!

BearSoFair · 05/04/2021 09:56

When DS2 (youngest) was around 6 I think, maybe a little younger if DS1 was happy to play Lego with him in the mornings and keep him occupied until we got up!

ItalianRed · 05/04/2021 09:59

I think it depends what you see as a "break". For me it was a lie in and that didn't really kick in properly until they were a teenager and had to be dragged out of bed.