Neighbour unhappy DD gave his DS a snack

[Eastie77]

I am really annoyed but know I may be over-reacting so need to be talked down.

DD was playing out with our neighbours DS, he is about 10. At one point she ran into the kitchen and quickly out again. It turns out she took a bag of crisps and shared them with him and other kids. She knows she is not allowed to do this but it all happened v quickly. Neighbour later sent me a message "just a quick one Eastie, DS is not allowed snacks between meals" and went on to say he hadn't eaten his lunch because of the crisps. I explained I understood although I hadn't given them to his DS. He responded by saying that's fine but can I keep an eye on things in future to ensure his DS doesn't eat anything when the DC are playing together.

I have always told DD not to give out any snacks to friends unless I have permission from their parents but neighbour's reply is really annoying me. It has a lecturing tone to it that doesn't sit well with me and I want to send back a smart response but not sure what to write...

Poor lad probably put his hand up for crisps as he couldn't believe his luck at bring offered some. It follows that dad has probably offered up something unappetising for dinner and the boy has said he wasn't hungry and blamed the crisps to avoid eating the meal.

This is madness.

I’ve always taught mine to share food, I’d think children who don’t very rude. Would say the same for my circle of friends.

My son has an allergy, which he has been able to check for since around 5! This kid is 10, and capable of declining.

I wouldn’t have replied to his message and I’d think he was a right arsehole for having the gall to text you about his son breaking his rules.

Op I don’t think your dd did anything wrong st all. Fair enough if you have asked her not to feed the whole street herself, have a word about giving food you have paid for away, but I wouldn’t punish for for caring and wanting to share food you have given her.

All my DCs share their snacks with their friends I would never tell them what they are doing is wrong.

Can't believe you and your dd are being blamed for a 10 year old eating what he's been told not too!!

I'd be annoyed at the text too and would say to neighbour, the onus is on his son not to eat it!

IF the child had a life threatening allergy then I'd be more inclined to police it as it is a case that his child didnt eat his lunch that is his problem I'm afraid not yours...

Get the cheeky bugger told. A ten year old should know his families rules. Not your dd at fault, she was sharing.

*family's

Ten year old is old enough to not accept the snacks if he's been told not to. I wouldn't expect the neighbour to need to supervise this.

The crisps were a share bag of Tyrells if that's relevant (so not massively unhealthy!)

I absolutely agree that the father is being a non. However I hate to burst your bubble but just because crisps are “posh” it doesn’t make them healthier than the likes of Walkers.

He needs to get a grip. And should be teaching his child to refuse the snack if offered, if he’s that bothered about it.

DD said she told the kids she had a packet of crisps in the house and asked who wants some? Everyone including the 10yo put their hands up.

This was my life growing up in a cul de sac.

This is childhood - sharing and caring. Something they have missed out on for a year.

And suddenly discovering your box of biscuits/ packet of crisps or box of ice lollies is parenthood! (Although I would be having words about what was and wasn't fair game!)

Bloody hell! A 10 year old not mature enough not to eat a couple of offered crisps???

My son has just turned 9 last month and he and his mates buy themselves a chippy when they're out playing.

I’d just say. “Ok I’ll ask DD not to offer snacks to your son again.” It’s not a big deal.

I would be irritated..a few crisps. Seriously. They need to ge t a grip.

Actually I think I would reply to the neighbour that maybe they should remind their DS that he needs to turn down offers of food. It is not for you or your daughter to police it!!!!!

Actually just ignore him completely. That's what irritates twits like this the most.

@PanamaPattie

Frankly, I'm more surprised you know your neighbours well enough that you message each other.

If the kids are playing out together, why wouldn't they?! We actually have a WhatsApp group for our road 🙈😆

What a ridiculous neighbour you have, You have a caring sharing daughter, and you have an odd ball Mother type next door. I would feel sorry for her son, being under strict surveilance all the time.. Does she not know that ways of children at all..

I’d reply telling him to supervise his own child tbh

Unless your daughter is a thirty year old au pair employed by this man to look after his son, he has no business trying to blame her. If his son is subject to strict rules regarding eating, and unable to stick to them while unsupervised, then his father is the one who must provide that supervision.

Neighbour is a tool
If that’s the rule kid should’ve declined the snack. He’s 10 not 2!

I’ve got an 11 and 10 year old and both would manage a snack and lunch ffs clearly whatever he had for lunch was horrible

You don’t need to write a smart reply. Speak to your DD and say it was a lovely kind thing to share but to check with parents first. End of.

I can't imagine ever telling my DS off for sharing..

He was in the same class as someone with a nut allergy and we did talk abouit that specifically but that the boy also knew he couldn't share other peoples food.

Honeslty OP...Carry on with your day... poor lad.. our lives are so restricted and a load of drame over a few crisps

But it is his responsibility to tell his DS that he doesnt want him eating snacks.

he is 10 - either a few months or just over a year away of going into high school where tempation is everywhere - where canteens are open for all kind of sack foods. Being that strict is just asking for trouble.

If I sent my child to someones house in the morning I wouldnt be surprised at a snack after all the playing outside

Yes it’s ott but it won’t help to get sarcastic.

I'll bet the lad didn't eat his lunch because he wanted to be out playing with his mates and had FOMO 👀. Not because of a few crisps.