Neighbour unhappy DD gave his DS a snack

[Eastie77]

I am really annoyed but know I may be over-reacting so need to be talked down.

DD was playing out with our neighbours DS, he is about 10. At one point she ran into the kitchen and quickly out again. It turns out she took a bag of crisps and shared them with him and other kids. She knows she is not allowed to do this but it all happened v quickly. Neighbour later sent me a message "just a quick one Eastie, DS is not allowed snacks between meals" and went on to say he hadn't eaten his lunch because of the crisps. I explained I understood although I hadn't given them to his DS. He responded by saying that's fine but can I keep an eye on things in future to ensure his DS doesn't eat anything when the DC are playing together.

I have always told DD not to give out any snacks to friends unless I have permission from their parents but neighbour's reply is really annoying me. It has a lecturing tone to it that doesn't sit well with me and I want to send back a smart response but not sure what to write...

RonSwansonsChair

I think I'd have to say - I'll remind DD not to share food and you should remind your DS not to eat between meals. I'm sure at 10 he's old enough to know your family rules

Perfect.

I'm very mindful of what my kids eat and drink for a number of reasons, but when I'm not there, it's their responsibility to do the right thing.

I would be pretty pissed off, OP.

I am chuckling (and also a bit gobsmacked) but the parents who would be livid for their children sharing food. The onus is not on the younger children to police another child’s food - it’s on the other child to say ‘no, I’m not allowed’.

And how fucking awful would it have been for that boy if OP’s DD shared her crisps with 8 other children and deliberately excluded him? She offers, he can decline.

I’d say “perhaps you should have a word with your ds about accepting and eating snacks between meals, as he knows he’s not allowed”

I suspect the situation is that his kid didn't fancy the dinner that was on offer because he's not keen on fish or whatever, and to avoid being told to eat it up, said he wasn't hungry because OP's child gave him crisps. Thus deflecting the blame.

Wow that kid is going to rebel big time when he goes to high school next year 😂😂😂 any 10 year old with allergies is old enough to know not to take any old food without checking, so that argument doesn’t really stand up. It’s a sad state of affairs where children can’t share a few crisps with their friends.

I would say : I have told my daughter not to share food, but would you please also ask your child not to take any food from others.

"OK and perhaps you can remind X about the fact that he's not supposed to eat between meals as I can't guarantee to always be around 10 year olds "

I’d have to respond with a haha kids will be kids, be sure to teach your DS to say no to snacks, just as someone else said earlier.

Ridiculous. Tell your neighbour that he can't expect a younger child to police his son's food choices. He needs to tell his son to say no.

I would say in a nonconfrontational way, all the kids share food and DS said he would like some too, so if it's a rule of yours please let him know not to accept it

Have you answered the text, OP?

@MintyMabel

Sounds like Daddy is a fun sponge. Oh FFS. Why do people think this is a clever come back? Invariably this is used when someone’s shit parenting is being called out and they have no defence for it. “Oh you’re such a fun sponge that you don’t think my little angel should be running up and down the road screaming for an hour”

OP’s DD was as much in the wrong here but there is no suggestion she is being reprimanded for it. I would be livid if my DD did that.

As for all of those saying the boy should be able to eat half a bag of crisps and manage his lunch - news flash, not every kid is the same. DD had to stop having the small snack they were given at after school club because she couldn’t eat her dinner an hour later. I’m buggered if I’ll have a plate of nutritional food go to waste for the sake of a tub of Doritos and dip.

The correct response should have been “sorry, it happened without me knowing, I’ve spoken to DD and she won’t do it again”

Winner of most batshit post of the week! .

I’d understand it more if he’d said it’s because of covid and not wanting to share food. But I think he’s being over the top, maybe because the snack was crisps and they don’t eat them. It should be the responsibility of the boy to say no, your dd was being kind and polite.

@Barneybear11

Blimey. How big was the bag of crisps to fill him up enough to not eat a meal.

She must be a bad cook...

I’d be tempted to tell them to watch their own kid, but if they’re going to get snippy over a few crisps it’s probably not worth engaging with them further.

@stuckinarutatwork

"I've spoken to DD about not sharing food with other children without asking first. Perhaps you could speak to your DS and remind him that he's not allowed to take food either and then hopefully we won't be in this situation again. "

This

There's nothing wrong with his comments. There are plenty of good reasons why parents don't want their child to eat food they haven't approved.

The kid is ten years old. I'd tell the neighbour that 10 is old enough for him to say no, you can't be expected to constantly monitor a ten year old. For fucks sake.

@georgarina

I would say in a nonconfrontational way, all the kids share food and DS said he would like some too, so if it's a rule of yours please let him know not to accept it

Something along these lines is a perfect response IMO

Anyone else wondering if the same posters who would be livid at their child being given crisps would also be livid at chalk on the road/footpath near their house

I'm slightly at the thought of a ten year old boy being unable to eat his lunch because he had had half a packet of crisps as a snack!

@2bazookas

There's nothing wrong with his comments. There are plenty of good reasons why parents don't want their child to eat food they haven't approved.

Then he needs to tell his son that, it isn't up to OP's 7 year old to do it

Chances are he didn’t like today’s lunch or he ate it anyway and his control freak parents want to tell you off with justification.
Poor kid, imagine a ten year old not being allowed to accept the odd snack.

The reply he’d get would be “if your ds knows your rules about snacks, suggest you take it up with him, he’s 10, he gets it.”

Oh and I very much doubt the boy didn’t eat his lunch

Or it was crap

What hideous parenting

Poor kid

@growinggreyer

You need to explain to your DD that she is not old enough to decide to feed other people's children and that some children have food allergies that can be fatal - but the child might not know or might not care at that moment. Think about that poor boy that died because another child threw a piece of cheese at him. Teach your child that she did the wrong thing.

Are you serious, the child did the wrong thing for sharing her snacks? How do you know the boy didn’t send her into the house to get them because his parents are depriving him of enjoying the salty goodness of them?

As for allergies, he’s 10 if he’s had allergic to foods then it’s on him to say no. Even my 3yo knows to say no to certain foods she’s allergic to.