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Original poster

How is this not murder?(upsetting)

601 replies

OhToBeASeahorse · 26/03/2021 12:16

A mother has appeared in court today charged with the manslaughter of her toddler.

She left her, alone, for 6 days.

How can this not be murder? I don't understand.

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 26/03/2021 12:59

I find it astounding that murder can't be due to inaction.

seepingweeping · 26/03/2021 13:03

Horrific. My dd is just a little older.

I can't understand how anyone could do something like this. How did no one hear the wee girl? I can't even imagine what she went through. She must have been so hungry and scared.

bitheby · 26/03/2021 13:06

"Cameras showed Kudi leaving the building on December 5 at 1739.
She did not return until December 11.
Data gathered by Sussex Police showed Kudi had been at parties in London, Coventry and Solihull before returning to Brighton.
Kudi admitted the manslaughter of her daughter between December 4 and 12"

Dates are interesting. The child might have died before she left.

tenlittlecygnets · 26/03/2021 13:06

No support network?? Hmm

Kudi's mother Muba Kudi, 59, said: 'My heart is so broken. My daughter was missing. She had been missing since the age of 14.'

And Detective Chief Inspector Andy Wolstenholme mentioned the many agencies 'that have supported Verphy and Asiah'.

If Kudi hadn't wanted a baby, she could have had an abortion. I can't believe anyone could be so wicked, and so fucking stupid. I wonder if there's more to this?

And why didn't she have a social worker if she was on a care plan? I can only imagine that care services are stretched beyond breaking and that Covid has exacerbated this.

But none of that exonerates Kudi for going to parties for a week and leaving her toddler. FFS.

Poor Asiah.

Yuppie20 · 26/03/2021 13:08

I feel sick reading this, my son is 20 months, its unimaginable that another human being could do this to a child. I don't care what age she is, even a child would know that you don't leave a baby on its own. Strung up she should be.

userxx · 26/03/2021 13:11

Yeah, this story has got to me. WTF was she thinking.

Just heartbreaking, no other words really.

Branleuse · 26/03/2021 13:18

it isnt murder because she was stupid and negligent rather than malicious. Murder is when you purposely kill someone.

Also whats the point of supported housing if there is no support. Whats the point of a child being under a child protection plan if theres no social worker checking up. How could noone notice a baby alone for a week?

Bubblebu · 26/03/2021 13:18

ten "the many agencies" do not make up for the mothers childhood where her own parents could describe her as "missing" since she was 14 years old.

but the really astounding part is that she did not actually have a social worker allocated.

you would think if the mother has been "missing" from her own birth family since she was 14 herself and had a 20 month old baby by the time she got to the end of her 17th year that would suggest the mother should have had a social worker herself for a considerable time.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 26/03/2021 13:18

Even if the police suspect murder (see dates quoted above), the authorities will go for manslaughter if it's more likely to lead to a conviction than murder.

Diminished responsibility may also affect murder/manslaughter.

This poor baby was seriously let down by her family and the authorities paid to protect her.

ThatsNotTheTeaHunty · 26/03/2021 13:22

That poor baby girl.
My son is the same age and never would you leave them alone.

This is my opinion and the fact she went out partying for 6 days shows what was more important. Hope they throw away the key actually and investigate into how no one heard that poor poor baby girl.

7catsandcounting · 26/03/2021 13:24

This is extremely upsetting. The mother must have been disturbed or had learning difficulties or something. Kids having kids. There's more to this than neglect. She must have had a disorder or not understood what leaving her child would do. I can't begin to understand.

Seriouslymole · 26/03/2021 13:24

And why didn't she have a social worker if she was on a care plan? I can only imagine that care services are stretched beyond breaking and that Covid has exacerbated this.

It was at the end of 2019 so Covid hadn't hit our shores then.

It will be interesting to see what happens at the sentencing once all the social services documentation and medical records for the mother have been released.

Such a sad case. It must have been very hard to investigate.

HoppingPavlova · 26/03/2021 13:26

This is why kids shouldn’t have kids.

Stratfordplace · 26/03/2021 13:26

Who could anyone leave a 20 month old on their own for 6 days. How did no one at the mother and baby unit not realise? What a truly vile, sickening, murdering bastard the mother is.

tenlittlecygnets · 26/03/2021 13:27

@Bubblebu "the many agencies" do not make up for the mothers childhood where her own parents could describe her as "missing" since she was 14 years old.

I took this to mean that her father was sad because his daughter was wild and ran off/became impossible to parent at 14, and that he was upset about it. I didn't take it to mean that Kudi's parents were at fault or that they had thrown her out or anything like that.

I also wonder where her social worker was. Lots of unanswered questions.

WaterBottle123 · 26/03/2021 13:27

Incredibly sad. However can't help thinking the write up would have been different if she was white and might have referred to mental health issues etc.

SquirtleSquad · 26/03/2021 13:27

@HoppingPavlova

This is why kids shouldn’t have kids.
I think that's unfair. Some kids shouldn't have kids, but I know some absolutely wonderful parents who had children in their mid teens - and there are plenty of stories of neglect and abuse from older parents.
tenlittlecygnets · 26/03/2021 13:27

@Seriouslymole - oops, you're right. Sorry!

lastqueenofscotland · 26/03/2021 13:28

How in the hell did a child with a child protection plan not have a social worker assigned. This was obviously an at risk case that could have been prevented.

daisyjgrey · 26/03/2021 13:28

It's not murder because it's technically manslaughter.

There are so many questions about this case that need answering before anyone can or should pass any judgement.

They were both in assisted accommodation and there was a CPP in place so this wasn't a 'normal' family situation. Presumably both the mother and baby have been hugely failed by multiple people and organisations.

MatildaTheCat · 26/03/2021 13:29

A tragedy. No doubt a massive back story. I sincerely hope some poor SW isn’t used as a scapegoat. I imagine this young woman was able to present herself quite well despite clearly having no ability whatsoever to prioritise her daughter or predict the outcome of her actions.

FreekStar · 26/03/2021 13:30

It's not murder because she didn't murder her by definition- she abandoned her and neglected her which led to her death- it was also possible that she would be found alive- just unfortunate she wasn't.

LizBennet · 26/03/2021 13:32

it was also possible that she would be found alive- just unfortunate she wasn't.

“Just unfortunate”?! I’d say! 🙄

I hope the mother gets the heftiest sentence that can possibly be imposed.

NoBetterthanSheShouldBe · 26/03/2021 13:33

Three parties in 6 days in different cities, attended by a vulnerable child/woman with presumably very limited resources? Screams ‘trafficing’ to me, not someone with full agency over their actions.

thebear1 · 26/03/2021 13:34

Poor little girl was let down by everyone it seems. No doubt 'lessons will be learnt ' until the next time it happens.