My lumpy midriff immortalised in wedding photos

[rainbowowl]

My youngest Dsis is getting married (fingers crossed) in September this year. Eldest Dsis is abroad, and will not make it to wedding because of the travel restrictions where she lives.

She's asked me to be one of 3 bridesmaids, my eldest DD is a flower girl.
I'm happy to be, and especially as Dsis can't make it, I want to make sure I'm doing everything to make sure her wedding goes smoothly and she enjoys the day.

But good Lord. I look like a sack of potatoes in the dress. I'll also be standing next to two, slender, beautiful 20-somethings, as a 5'2" mid-30s mum of two - one of whom quite recently left my potato body!

I've lost around 40lbs, very happy with that, but any advice on what I can do to help the entirety of my lower half (where the dress clings) I'm intending to eat well and exercise until the day - recommendation on anything... apart from running... I'll try it if I really have to!

Any excellent shapewear? The kind that doesn't roll up or down, preferably neck to ankle and one where you don't wet yourself trying to go to the loo.

I'll post a pic of the dress if that helps?

I have one of those waist trainer corsets that holds all of my lumps and bumps in. Not the most comfortable thing to wear but it doesn’t roll up or down like the underwear ones.

And yes, posting a picture will definitely help my nosiness!

When restrictions ease, maybe go to one of those professional lingerie shops, with the dress, and ask them to find what's best. The all in one swimsuit style with straps are great but It depends on what the dress will allow. You have a lot of time and motivation till September, and you've already shown yourself it's possible by losing 40lbs, congratulations by the way. I'm sure you'll look lovely. Trying a showy dress on without spanks, makeup hair jewellery and heels on always looks far worse than the finished product, no matter your size anyway.

Can you get away with spanx?

The dress style does matter but could you size up? The last thing you need is to worry about being squeezed into a one-day-only dress.

Don't forget to get a really good fitting bra too- it can make a huge difference to your overall shape!

Also, exercise is great but don't kill yourself or make it your priority. Diet accounts for something like 80%of your weight loss. No point doing your knees in running and end up hobbling around on the day

This is why I don't like identical dresses, you can guarantee it won't suit everyone. The though of being in shape wear all day is hell, I'd have thrush my lunchtime!

Is it worth asking if you could have the same colour and material but a more flattering style?

As pp said, I'd second a proper corset. Mine are wonderful and hide a multitude of squidge when I want them to, and I tuck the laces in at the back so they don't show. Definitely worth a try as they don't roll down :)

I've attached the pics, (on the app so I hope it works) they're not the actual dress but this sort of style/colour

I think I'll need a proper full body shape thing, as the dress is fitted almost down to the knee before it gently flared? Any pant-line on the hips is very visible, If that makes sense? It really accentuates my saddlebags and hipdips. I have quite a severe csection pooch, with a lot of stretch marks, it's quite difficult to hide other than tucked into my very high waisted jeans!

I have one of these ( or similar) which I wear under dresses

SLEEX Body Shaping Full Slip - Underbust (wear Your own Bra) (44045) www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01M30MZD8/ref=cm_sw_r_em_apa_fabc_PPNXP9HW8CN8TFQC9QWY?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

There are other versions with no straps or ones where you don't wear your own bra but the slip itself provides support. A lot depends on the dress it is going under.

These can feel a bit tight but I do feel ( and look) less lumpy with something like this on under a dress so it is worth it for me

Also it doesn't ride up too much or push bits out like Spandex that is just in your lower half

I’ve found running is fantastic for tightening up your stomach - I’ve been doing the couch to 5k on the BBC app and it’s done wonders for my shape (and mental health) it builds up gradually, so it doesn’t feel like a big run. You’ve done amazing so far!

I have an all-in-one Spanx thing which is absolutely brilliant for smoothing everything. It is sort of like a leotard

Just on the weight loss stuff, sounds like you’re doing brilliantly, but make sure you’re doing lots to deep core activation stuff as that will really help with the “pooch” look, if you’re not already :)

Size up considerably and then have the necessary bits of the top taken in so it’s not falling off/down.

Spanx

The style that goes from bra-band to knees. They are very well designed. I can wear mine all day. Some styles have a split crotch, so you can go to the loo without having to peel like a banana.

And confidence. Don't compare, don't excuse. You are wonderful as you are.

Thank you for the advice so far.
I do think the sizing up might work if I have it taken in up top. Although I am one 'size' I carry any excess weight on my thighs and hips so tend to look a lot more pear shaped, plus my boobs are very deflated now too, so look a lot flatter even when I attempt a push-up bra.

What about one of those Conturve things I keep seeing on FB. I tell you, there's some tums on those demonstration clips (although few to rival mine) and they all look better once the thing is on under their clothes.

Not necessarily compressed and thinner (after all, one wants a little flexibility for buffet time) but definitely firmer and fitter (in the health sense rather than the popular use).

Can you ask your dsis for a different style dress? Id lool awful in what you described and my bmi is 23.

I find jillian Michaels shred or ripped in 30 5-6 times a week has really toned up my body. A surprising amount. 20 minutes workout a day (count 30 for warmup, stretching and getting breath back)

Sadly, I cannot really ask to change the dress, as it's bought and ready and would mean all three changing - just realised I might not be able to size up either actually 😬
I didn't voice my concern (but silly of me!) when I first tried it on, as I didn't want to cause or be a problem, as she's very stressed - it's the third wedding planned due to covid postponement.
I'm just attempting to not look as awful as I currently do in it 😂

Those dresses would look terrible on most women! Buy your own in the same colour?

No help at all sorry but that's a really awful unforgiving dress!

For non running exercise (I also hate running) I would recommend downloading the “Sweat” app - really great programmes that you can start as a beginner with just things you have at home. HIIT (high intensity interval training) is the fastest and most effective way to get in shape and much more fun and easier on your knees than running!

I’m a size 8, BMI 20 and I would look horrific in that dress. I could probably look passable if I lost another half a stone but the top half would look skeletal!

For those of us with thighs that style is so unforgiving 😩

That style is unforgiving and if you are bottom heavy will cling in all the wrong places. Keep up with the exercise and maybe go for an all 8n one shapewear?