My lumpy midriff immortalised in wedding photos

[rainbowowl]

My youngest Dsis is getting married (fingers crossed) in September this year. Eldest Dsis is abroad, and will not make it to wedding because of the travel restrictions where she lives.

She's asked me to be one of 3 bridesmaids, my eldest DD is a flower girl.
I'm happy to be, and especially as Dsis can't make it, I want to make sure I'm doing everything to make sure her wedding goes smoothly and she enjoys the day.

But good Lord. I look like a sack of potatoes in the dress. I'll also be standing next to two, slender, beautiful 20-somethings, as a 5'2" mid-30s mum of two - one of whom quite recently left my potato body!

I've lost around 40lbs, very happy with that, but any advice on what I can do to help the entirety of my lower half (where the dress clings) I'm intending to eat well and exercise until the day - recommendation on anything... apart from running... I'll try it if I really have to!

Any excellent shapewear? The kind that doesn't roll up or down, preferably neck to ankle and one where you don't wet yourself trying to go to the loo.

I'll post a pic of the dress if that helps?

That dress is awful. Difficult for anyone above a size 0 to carry off.

I can only assume the bride knows this and doesn't care. Do your best to lose weight for your own self esteem if you wish but I wouldn't worry about her photos etc - it's her choice to buy something so unforgiving. I would question her motives to be honest - is she deliberately trying to make you all look worse than her?

That dress is the worst combination of shiny, clingy, sleeveless (almost strapless) with really thin drapey fabric. Spanx will show up underneath.

I imagine even Kate Moss would have a few lumps and bumps in that.

Is your sister actually nuts?

Could try control top tights? But watch out for seams/waistband line

Satin is soo unforgiving.I don't envy anyone trying to wear that tbh

Could it be that the dress just isn't the right shape /style for your body shape? I ask because I was a bridesmaid about 20 years ago now for a friend, and the dress was very similar in shape and material as the ones you posted. I look dreadful in the photos as the fabric was all ruched across my hips. I was a size 10/ 12 wearing the right size, but I now know that given my body shape I should have been wearing something fitted on top and looser /flowing from the waist.

Can you afford to pay for a more flattering dress in the same colour yourself? If you did all the sorting so it was no stress for her would your sister agree? You could investigate suitable dresses and still give her a veto so you didn’t wear something she felt didn’t 'go'. Surely she doesn’t want you to spend all day feeling self conscious and since you have a more matron of honour role than bridesmaid since you also have your daughter taking part, not all wearing the same dress won’t look out of place.

I actually think it's quite shitty of her to pick those style slip dresses that look good on virtually no one. Or maybe that was her plan?

I'm pear shaped and even when I was a size 8 with no flabby bits and flat stomach that style looked horrible.

You could get it lined, that disguises a multitude of sins. However I think a bias cut satin dress will flatter no-one. Take it to a dressmaker and get advice on how best to deal with it. Underwear will help to some extent but it can create its own issues too.

Also could you buy an oversized floaty organza stole and sort of drape it over your elbows? sort of like this www.debenhams.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/prod_10701_10001_087010350397_-1

or even this

www.etsy.com/uk/listing/609622994/organza-wrap-shawl-summer-spring-winter?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=organza+shawl&ref=sr_gallery-1-22&from_market_listing_grid_organic=1

What kind of sadist makes her bridesmaids wear bias cut satin. 1% of the population look good in bias cut satin, and they're generally busy posing for magazines.

Oh i've just noticed the 5 foot 2 comment... I really think talk to you sister, say I'm not a willowy 20 year old and I feel really uncomfortable in this dress, can I not wear something slightly different as a more mature bridesmaid? Unless she is Bridezilla of the century I can't see she would say no!

Oh goodness, im another slim person who would also look at that dress in horror. That shiny material flatters almost nobody! I second all the suggestions to take the dress to a lingerie shop and ask for their recommendations. A strategically placed pashmina or bouquet could also help (spend some time practicing in the mirror for photos).

Couch to 5k will sort this for you.

That’s a sod of a dress.
You can’t wear a slip under it. Anyone with largish breasts will struggle to go bra free, and a lot of slimmer women who don’t need bras will have a xylophone ribcage on show.

I did have a dress in a similar style in my younger days which I loved and wore at every possible occasion (I don’t need bras) but a) it was lined, b) it had a flock pattern which didn’t show up the lumps and bumps like satin does.

That dress is horrific unless you have a figure like Angelina Jolie - i.e. inverted triangle.

I'd ask your sister if you can choose your own dress.

What IS she thinking though? What's her dress like?

Can we see it on. Maybe you're being hard on yourself. The mirror can warp things. I agree it's not the most forgiving but maybe some good underwear will be enough. Saying this as someone who's getting married in July and had to cancel already so am stressed and I'd be cool but 3 times I imagine I wouldn't be. Its only one day and it's not really about anyone else but the couple.

Dear Lord that’s about as unforgiving as a dress can be!
Spanx all the way and some wedding champers should help.

As in the focus will be on them before anyone jumps on me. I second some kind of shawl.

Yeah, that's a very unforgiving dress. Spanx, pray for a big flowery posy. Ugh.

I would just go with some loose seam free underwear and enjoy the day. You are doing your sister a public service by being less attractive than her! Your kids will probably smush cake into it anyway so you can take a spare for the evening

The fabric of that dress will shown up every single mark as well. If you could get material to match them a dressmaker could make you a skirt and top to match but in a better style?

You’ll be carrying flowers? Theat will hide some bulbs in the photos

I’d have to breathe in for a whole day if I had to wear that. I feel for you.

It shows a lot of flesh in the top half too. How are you about showing your arms?

Echoing PPs.

This dress is truly impossible for the vast majority to wear.

You need to talk to DSis. I'd suggest same colour, different style. I also really don't get the idea of a bride choosing dresses for her bridesmaids. Surely you decide together, based on style & fit that suits each woman.