My lumpy midriff immortalised in wedding photos

[rainbowowl]

My youngest Dsis is getting married (fingers crossed) in September this year. Eldest Dsis is abroad, and will not make it to wedding because of the travel restrictions where she lives.

She's asked me to be one of 3 bridesmaids, my eldest DD is a flower girl.
I'm happy to be, and especially as Dsis can't make it, I want to make sure I'm doing everything to make sure her wedding goes smoothly and she enjoys the day.

But good Lord. I look like a sack of potatoes in the dress. I'll also be standing next to two, slender, beautiful 20-somethings, as a 5'2" mid-30s mum of two - one of whom quite recently left my potato body!

I've lost around 40lbs, very happy with that, but any advice on what I can do to help the entirety of my lower half (where the dress clings) I'm intending to eat well and exercise until the day - recommendation on anything... apart from running... I'll try it if I really have to!

Any excellent shapewear? The kind that doesn't roll up or down, preferably neck to ankle and one where you don't wet yourself trying to go to the loo.

I'll post a pic of the dress if that helps?

Whilst that is a bugger of a dress if you are not tall and slender what is good is that the neckline will be so flattering. Get the next size or even two up, some solid shapewear and a nice necklace to draw attention to your chest and it will be lovely

Oh my god I knew it would be that kind of dress when you said it. Only Kate Moss from 20 years ago could look good in it tbh because she wouldn't need a bra - that kind of material is so unforgiving to any kind of seam underneath, it just highlights it.

If there is ANY WAY you can get a bigger size do that OP because any sort of wrinkling or pulling where it doesn't fit will show up. And if you sit down in it for any length of time or will be so creased round your belly and thighs.

I have no idea what the bride was thinking tbh. I AM SO SORRY!

@HollowTalk

I think it's better to just refuse. I'd rather pay for the dress than appear in it!

Actually, yes, this. It'll be cheaper and less painful ultimately to buy your way out of this nightmare than to appear in it.

It’s a horrible dress. Looks like a nightie. No one looks good in a dress like that, what is the bride thinking.

You’d have to be confident about your arms as well. It’s fairly revealing too or is that my middle aged brain thinking that?

No idea how to make it better, poor you.

I'd really consider asking if you can be "matron" of honour and buy a different dress in the same or a similar shade so you complement the others, but something that flatters you. That's not going to look good on anyone other than the models wearing it!

I would ask a dressmaker to look at for you. I have also had a body wrap a day or so before big events and lost inches. It will help with confidence

As so many others have said already the dress you've shown is just so unforgiving.
Could you not talk to your sister and persuade her that a different dress for you would be absolutely fine.

Unfortunately we must all wear the same, she's not a fan of mix and match bridesmaids! She would also never do it in a malicious way, we're close and she's been having a rough time with the planning, I just don't want to create a new problem for her. I think she just loves the material and style of the dresses.

I'm ultimately not too bothered or upset by it, I will just cringe every time I see any photos 😂 the other two bridesmaids are quite a bit taller than me, and haven't had kids yet - I'm not saying that having kids makes a difference, I have several mum friends with the same figures they had in their 20s, just my figure was massively changed by pregnancies (and my lax eating habits during!) I mean, I have stretch marks to my ankles! 😂

I think because it is also mid calf in length, teamed with my height, is adding to the 'dumpy' factor!
I honestly could not face posting a photo, but imagine sewing the bottom off the dress shut, and filling it with sand and rocks! I'm hoping a few months might make my figure a little less spud-ly, maybe I'll treat you to a before and after at that point! Or yes, I'll convince DH for a third baby NOW 😂

I agree that no one but Kate Moss in the 90s could wear that well.

If you want to tone up then planks are good - check out YouTube to make sure you’re doing it right. For that dress you’ll need awesome shape wear to smooth everything out, regardless of your size or shape.

You are being really lovely about it all. I really do hope that you can walk about in it with your head held high and have a lovely day. Maybe following a few of the exercise and shake wear tips on here will help you feel your best. I'm sure that's all anyone will remember. Also, can you position one of your kids strategically infront of you for the pics?!

Even the model in the first photo looks like she's trying to be swallowed up by the curtain behind.

Can you get a shawl or some kind of cover up, at least for your shoulders?

As PP said it will stain so easily....I would get sweat patches too and not just under the armpits!!!!

Horrible, unflattering dress. Pretty much everyone would look awful in this.

Hate brides that do this. Surely, you want your bridesmaids (family/ wonderful friends) to look good in your photos and feel comfortable. I mean, it's really hard to please everyone but I always think it's much better when there are a choice of dresses. Can you go back and ask to change? I really think you should.

I think your best best is some spanx and to get a dressmaker to alter it to fit you better - maybe they could put some extra fabric hips downwards to better suit your shape?

What kind of sadist makes her bridesmaids wear bias cut satin. 1% of the population look good in bias cut satin, and they're generally busy posing for magazines

This. Is there really no way she would consider letting you wear a different dress? Even if she knew how uncomfortable/embarrassed it is going to be for you to wear it?
I can't honestly imagine making my bridesmaids wear something that was so obviously unflattering for them and making them feel shit for the entire wedding.

Eldest Dsis was also going to be a bridesmaid, and Bride Dsis is still quite upset that she won't be there, that's why I'm a little reticent to start rocking the boat over a dress. I'll do what I can, and buy a floaty cardigan for the evening! Thank you for the advice and commiserations though, 20yr old me would have loved the dress... 36yr old me not so much 😂

Strength training will help you look tighter.

It's correct that diet is the main factor for weight management, but strength training is what gives you a toned look (as opposed to skinny - fat / lumpy at the same bodyweight).

You don't need a gym either, there's plenty you can do at home with just your own body weight and basic accessories. If you're consistent and also keep a close eye on your nutrition you could make a real difference by September.

A pp mentioned the Sweat app, it's a good recommendation. Stephanie Sanzo is one of the trainers on the app and is excellent

That is a dress from hell. I'm not going to post pics, but after I had my first DD I had to wear the same style but in bright hot pink as bridesmaid at a friend's wedding. It maximised my post-cSection apron belly beautifully! In the end I wore an uncomfortable Spanx type under-garb and killed the pain with Prosecco. I think the sizing up and get it taken in on the top half tip is a great one. I did not do that and so it was skinny fried egg boobs getting lost in fabric and big belly.

Yoga will really help with toning up. But agree with others very few could pull that style off. Use dd as a shield I all pictures and make sure she's in front of you.

Do you want any more children? Could you get pregnant ASAP 😂

I would want a jumper!

I feel for you OP it’s not the kind of dress for anyone other than super skinny. Hope you can find a way to dress it so that you’re more comfortable x

Do you know what would you look tighter? Full body cast. Drape the dress over your wheelchair. For a dramatic entrance - fake your death and then appear as above trashy soap opera style.

Or buy an all encompassing Dracula style cape. Fangs optional.

Or get pissed as a fart and avoid all photos.

Or seethe and plot your revenge. Perhaps a renewal service as a naturist and request that DSIS attends butt naked, extra points if she has just given birth.

Actually I'd go for a cape in matching material (because I'm a wimp). Full length with a hood like a movie star.

Hard anyone would look food in a dress like that. I think she's being really quite selfish with that one.

I agree that it is a terrible dress choice, hardly anyone would look good in it. I am a size 10 and 5' 6" and I wouldnt even try it on let alone agree to wear it!

As a PP said, the only people who look good in bias cut satin are models, the rest of us dont stand a chance. I would brazen it out for the ceremony and "accidentally" spill some red wine down it and get changed!

Could you wear a longline soft duster jacket for some coverage?

Has she seen you in it? I know your not meant to upstage the bride but also you want bridesmaids to look good in photos?