Breastfeeding isn't easy for all mothers...?

[faithfulbird20]

What do you think? I honestly find it the most hardest thing in the world...finding the right tops, cloths, you're feeding one side the other side decides to leak a waterfall, baby doesn't want to latch properly, mild tongue tie, sometimes it's easy, sometimes it's hard and annoying, breast milk has leaked on baby's clothes, baby needs changing. Breastfeeding in front of other people, family etc...

I started off saying to myself that I would push through the first 6 weeks. When I got there, I thought I'd try and carry on to 3 months. I didn't even have any physical problems doing it - I just intensely disliked how it felt. We're at nearly 4 months now and I don't find it makes my skin crawl as much, so the new goal is 6 months, when we can start weaning. I suspect when I get there I'll feel like I can carry on to a year (and I've never wanted to feed beyond a year).

So I certainly wouldn't fault anyone for giving it up at any point, but if you want to carry on, I'd recommend thinking of points where you can reassess - if I'd started off thinking I'd definitely be doing it for a year, I suspect I'd have stopped in the first month!

@TheKeatingFive

As an aside, I HATED pumping, so anyone who did that exclusively for any length of time has my huge respect.

God me too, I did it after every feed for a few weeks and never have I hated seeing an inanimate object so much. Hats off to people who do it full time!

That’s why I’m proud of what I did do keating.

Three months of pumping in the night when I could have been sleeping, pumping at regular points during the day when I had a baby to care for. So I am proud. Disappointed we didn’t do it ‘normally’ but proud of what we did do.

@JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows

So not the same at all as "I don't care if it upsets ff mums"

But yes please stop replying as I find your embellishments, snide remarks, and attempts to silence women really tedious now.

Well who else would it upset?

I wouldn't say it was easy to start, it's a new skill for both you and baby, but if you're struggling with pain or any other issues after about 6 weeks then something isn't right. Giving people the message that's it's hard and painful stops them from reaching out for help early enough.

It is hard cluster feeding a newborn with a toddler but it doesn't last forever. It's very hard without support at the moment so I'm sorry you're going through this now. Maybe a sling that you can feed in? I never managed to get the baby at the right height for the boob but I didn't buy a sling recommended for feeding IYKWIM and I believe there are better ones.

I've fed by bottle and by bf for over two years with two children and there was no contest on which was "easier"!

I hope you can get some support.

@110APiccadilly

I started off saying to myself that I would push through the first 6 weeks. When I got there, I thought I'd try and carry on to 3 months. I didn't even have any physical problems doing it - I just intensely disliked how it felt. We're at nearly 4 months now and I don't find it makes my skin crawl as much, so the new goal is 6 months, when we can start weaning. I suspect when I get there I'll feel like I can carry on to a year (and I've never wanted to feed beyond a year).

So I certainly wouldn't fault anyone for giving it up at any point, but if you want to carry on, I'd recommend thinking of points where you can reassess - if I'd started off thinking I'd definitely be doing it for a year, I suspect I'd have stopped in the first month!

I’ve always said this is the right attitude - rather try an waving the 2 year WHO figure in the faces of new mums, just encouraging them to set a short term goal. Chances are when they reach it things will have settled down and they will find it easier to carry on.

Three months of pumping in the night when I could have been sleeping, pumping at regular points during the day when I had a baby to care for. So I am proud.

You certainly should be. Kudos to you, no way could I have done that!

@TheKeatingFive

It seems that breastfeeding is often portrayed in a negative way which sets new mums into thinking that it won't work, is too painful /stressful.

I disagree. The ad you speak of is a new development, a reaction to the fact that BFing was previously portrayed as ‘easy’ to persuade new mums to give it ago.

That wasn’t particularly helpful as they then found it challenging and wondered why they were struggling.

Bfing is usually front loaded. Very tough at first but becomes a lot easier. It’s right to be honest about this and provide the practical help and support for mums who want to push through. I’m immensely glad I got through those early days and ended up greatly enjoying bfing. But I was able to access brilliant support, thankfully. Others aren’t so lucky.

I completely agree

I also think the use of pumps should be encouraged early on. Too many mums struggle to get baby latched properly for days or even weeks, and in that time their supply drops because everyone says ‘not to pump before 6 weeks’. I think pumps are the best thing since sliced bread and awful all at the same time

Totally agree with you. Of course it's not easy for all. "Fed is best"!
For me it has been easy. Still breastfeeding my DD who is 14 months. But I know the myriad of issues there can be. I've had mastitis and blebs too. But I still feel blessed.

Absolutely nothing wrong with being proud, you should be. But don’t say it to a mother who has been trying and trying to breast feed, has finally decided that for her own mental health and to improve her bond with baby that it would be best to formula feed but it feeling very guilty about it. ( I am projecting my own experience here I know!) I know most people would never be that insensitive but unfortunately a few people are. And you did say you didn’t care if you upset people. I always care if I upset people, especially people who are struggling. Nothing wrong with being kind.

@Wondermule

I also think the use of pumps should be encouraged early on. Too many mums struggle to get baby latched properly for days or even weeks, and in that time their supply drops because everyone says ‘not to pump before 6 weeks’. I think pumps are the best thing since sliced bread and awful all at the same time

A breast pump, even with a let down feature is not the same as an actual breastfeeding baby. Bar a gap of five months in my late second and late third pregnancies so have breastfed for seven years and am still going. I have a very strong letdown and no supply problems at all but I really struggled with pumps even hospital grade ones.

Furthermore if newborn babies were actually properly assessed for tongue ties and if necessary they were snipped again as many re fuse during the early weeks, then a huge amount of problems with breastfeeding would be resolved: failure to latch, shallow painful latch, inadequate milk consumption. These are the main reasons most women abandon breastfeeding as well as inconsistent skill and support from professionals. Yes some women suffer from little to no milk supply but this is difficult to distinguish in the early days when milk has yet to come in properly, but the bulk of women do not have low supply. Medication can also affect it of course.

Exclusive pumping is an enormous undertaking even in the short term, and I have huge respect for women who can or chose to do this. Once established breastfeeding becomes second nature. That’s not to say that it shouldn’t be lauded and respected far more than it actually is: it should be recognised as a really special and important aspect of motherhood for many women. Acknowledging that doesn’t and shouldn’t necessarily mean feelings of superiority. I think for you or anyone else to assume that is very often more down to someone’s individual experience with breastfeeding or views towards it as opposed to anything else more sinister or arrogant.

Breastfeeding isn’t always easy. I hated it, which really surprised me. DMER and nursing aversion is apparently what I was feeling. Hated pumping too. It was like a cloud lifting when I stopped. I didn’t want to battle through it any longer as my mental and physical health was on the floor. I’m proud I stopped when I did, but should have done it sooner.

Well who else would it upset?

Well it upset you, who breastfed

@JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows

Well who else would it upset?

Well it upset you, who breastfed

Yes because I’m not a dick

It’s not easy. But when it works really well, it tends to involve less faff than bottle feeding. Sadly it doesn’t work ‘really well’ for lots of families and there is a serious lack of support and information for those women and babies who need it to get there. Unfortunately we settle for ‘that looks ok’ or ‘your nipples haven’t fallen off so it’s fine’ or suggest lots of pumping and topping up with no plan for the long term. ‘Optimal’ breastfeeding is great but the road to get there is almost impossible for a lot of people.

@Wondermule

I also think the use of pumps should be encouraged early on. Too many mums struggle to get baby latched properly for days or even weeks, and in that time their supply drops because everyone says ‘not to pump before 6 weeks’. I think pumps are the best thing since sliced bread and awful all at the same time

The problem is nipple confusion! I somehow pumped little a dairy cow with DD and sent her a drop out with DS so it's not always a good solution I guess

But Italian I think (and I hope this comes across in the spirit it’s intended) that’s a little dog in the manger.

I couldn’t breastfeed ds. I wanted to so much. I had to make do with pumping and formula.

Why would I want another woman and baby to experience that?

Yes because I’m not a dick

We'll have to agree to disagree on that point.

@JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows

Yes because I’m not a dick

We'll have to agree to disagree on that point.

This made me laugh

@JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows

Yes because I’m not a dick

We'll have to agree to disagree on that point.

😂😂

Nipple confusion doesn’t exist.

@Wondermule

Nipple confusion doesn’t exist.

Better tell the NHS that

www.guysandstthomas.nhs.uk/resources/our-services/maternity/pregnancy-and-life-with-your-baby.pdf

You obviously know best with all your professional scientific credentials

@Cleverpolly3 I more meant cases where babies are too tired or weak to feed, like those premature/early or with health conditions, iyswim - no amount of guidance will solve that one.

A saying that got me through the early days was:

The first six weeks are the hardest, the next six weeks get easier and by three months you feel sorry for mums who bottle feed (because they have to actually get up in the night etc..)

I'm not against formula feeding - DS was FF for the first two weeks as I was ill - but it meant I had to work even harder to establish BF.