Breastfeeding isn't easy for all mothers...?

[faithfulbird20]

What do you think? I honestly find it the most hardest thing in the world...finding the right tops, cloths, you're feeding one side the other side decides to leak a waterfall, baby doesn't want to latch properly, mild tongue tie, sometimes it's easy, sometimes it's hard and annoying, breast milk has leaked on baby's clothes, baby needs changing. Breastfeeding in front of other people, family etc...

I think mothers who do find it easy don’t say so as they are sensitive to the ones who don’t find it easy.

This. I was amazed how easy I found it with all 3 DC but I kept it to myself to avoid upsetting those who struggled. It’s a tricky message as there’s such a range of experiences out there. Too positive about how easy it is and some mothers will feel bad when they struggle. Too negative and many who wouldn’t have struggled won’t even try. Apart from slightly sore nipples for a couple of weeks with dc1 I had no problems at all. All got the hang of it straight off, they gained weight and I lost weight while eating loads of cake.

If you have a toddler and a newborn it is going to be hard going for a while. Two under two is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. If breastfeeding is making it harder then you should stop but bear in mind that bottles are likely to have different downsides when juggling two.

For me it was so much harder than any part of pregnancy or childbirth, I had to give up after a few weeks and it still breaks my heart I couldn't do it. My baby is nearly three months and I'm still struggling

I vividly remember the day I got it, and it switched from this awful, awkward, painful experience to the easiest thing on the world.

I had been belligerent about seeking help and kept appearing back to the lactation consultant despite every midwive and HV telling me I was doing it perfectly.

And then finally a lactation consultant showed me how to latch on correctly (there’s a kind of swan’s neck manoeuvre with your wrist) and we never looked back.

I wish I had had the confidence to seek help sooner, and be as persistent with my first dc. Ime most of the professionals dispense a hearty portion of guilt instead of meaningful help and advice. And frankly, that guilt nearly killed me as a first time mum.

I think the vast majority of women probably find it difficult at first - or perhaps not difficult but painful/uncomfortable/exhausting etc.

After two-three months or so I think it becomes a doddle for most. It's a shame that many women give up before the easy stage.

One of the problems I think is that we are led to believe that it will be easy and when we find it isn't we think we must be doing it wrong.

For me it was very easy. Slightly sore nipples at the start but then they toughened up and it was fine 😆 I breathed for 20 and 18 months then stopped without issue.

However a friend really struggled with her first due to undiagnosed TT which once sorted isnt actually an instant cure.

In my experience as a BF peer supporter, almost every single woman who has experienced difficulties BFing have done so due to external factors, but they often feel like it’s their failure rather than that they were failed.

I.e. tongue tie, lack of support, post birth difficulties impacting physical ability to hold baby, post section difficulties, family pressure to bottle feed, expectations of a baby’s needs. It is very rare indeed that a woman doesn’t produce milk, it can happen but again not understanding when milk is likely to come in etc is often more the main factor.

I found it really really really hard at first. It felt like the hardest thing I'd ever done.

But a couple of months in it was fine, and by 6 months it was the easiest, most wonderful thing in the world and I carried on for another year.

If you can through the first few tough weeks it is SO SO worth it.

I think I’ve always copped out too soon

I’m going to try again with this one but I feel fairly relaxed about it - if I can do it, I’ll do it. If not, I’ll just have to accept the world of powder milk and sterilising 🙄

Breastfeeding is definitely not easy. I think you have to want to do it to really push yourself and hopefully conquer it.
I found my 2nd baby so much easier to breastfeed which I think is partly because I knew what I was doing. I didn't worry she wasn't getting enough etc as I knew she was from first time breastfeeding. I felt much more relaxed the second time around.

My theory is the more educated and informed you are about breastfeeding, the more likely it'll happen.
Mother's need advice and help with it.
I'd love to be a breastfeeding counsellor and try to help people.

The first couple of weeks with DS1 were painful but after that it was easy. When DS2 was born my body knew what to do straight away and it was only uncomfortable for one day when my milk came in.

Overall I found it easy though - I think it was a combination of good luck and a supportive environment (DM breastfed as did almost all of my 'mum friends').

My third was only easy one - I had several years experience by then and she was fed straight away no delay after birth and never had any issues like other two.

First was under supply - partly due to bad advice and awful Postnatal ward experience- second was bad with mastsis and getting access to any kind of reasonble help and I suspect tongue tie.

I think there were phycial experience problems with first two, lack of help and poor advice and seperate to all that people's attitude - family and wider constanly commenting or making it awkward.

I think by thrid I had confidence and experience, knew what to expect and find help ,and by then pretty much eveyrone was used to me bf and has stopped with the comments.

I think there are several aspects that make it hard for many but I do agree if you manage to get past hard bits or do find it okay there can be a bit of a stimga to saying that in case other mothers are upset.

If it was so hard, the human race would have died out well before the invention of formula.

Of course it's time consuming and a commitment, but breastmilk is designed specifically for your baby, so why would you not make that commitment?

I remember having the breastfeeding "talk" at antenatal, and the woman spoke exclusively about the benefits. That's great, but if she'd spoke about how hard it was and solutions for overcoming problems I feel that I would have been better informed and better prepared. Instead of feeling that I'd failed my child.

Me, my sister and my sister in law have all fed 2 babies each for 12-24 months.
None of us had mastitis or tongue tie issues. My sister in laws 2 have dairy allergies so she has gone dairy free while feeding. My babies were 10lb 9oz and 9lb 1oz at birth and stayed above the 91st centile after regaining birth weight.
I was prepared to be pretty sofa bound to get breast feeding entailed. I liked doing it. It can be a piece of piss! Its worth giving it a go because if it works it's brilliant.

I have 3 DC, I have always found the physical act of breastfeeding easy (bar the first few days of you and new baby both getting used to each other and getting into the swing of things again).

However, the mental act of breastfeeding is hard for me. The continued responsibility for the growth and complete well being of the baby being solely on me.

The dreading going to bed, as I don’t know what the night will bring etc etc. Hearing about others whose other halves can do the ‘last feed’ (what is that by the way?! ) so they can get a decent chunk of sleep. It all niggles.

But I do it, because I firmly believe it is the absolute best for my children, and I’m a stubborn sort.

I know from my older two DC that I will be very happy in the long run that I’ve breastfed the baby, and so, I’m soothed with the knowledge that the short term mental struggle will stave off a longer term one.

Getting pregnant isn’t easy for all mothers.
Giving birth isn’t easy for all mothers.
Most of what we do as mothers isn’t necessarily easy.
Affording formula isn’t easy for all mothers.
Getting the baby to accept a bottle isn’t easy for all mothers (neither of my kids would accept a bottle with expressed milk or a dummy.
The low rate of breastfeeding in the UK can only be societal as rates in comparable countries are much higher. It’s nothing to do with ease or the lack of it.
I personally found it easy, even with a premature baby with a lip tie, and don’t know anyone who didn’t breastfeed for at least a year.

Oh I’ve had mastitis more times than I care to remember, tongue ties on each child, the whole caboodle, still happy I’ve done it though.

I think it’s hard for everyone. I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone call it easy, i think it’s why a lot of Mums give up in the first few weeks and just say they ‘couldn’t’ as they don’t feel like they can say that they didn’t want to.

In most cases you just have to persevere, then it’s amazing. A lot of the NCT Mums mix fed for a while, it doesn’t have to be all or nothing.

I’m due twins soon, hoping to breastfeed. Honestly I can’t be bothered with making up all the bottles/ sterilising. That sounds like a lot of hard work!

@TeckanandMultra

If it was so hard, the human race would have died out well before the invention of formula.

Of course it's time consuming and a commitment, but breastmilk is designed specifically for your baby, so why would you not make that commitment?

Complete bs. Childbirth used to be incredibly dangerous yet the human race survived.

Infant mortality used to be extremely high - breastfeeding issues may well have contributed.

Before formula also wet nursing and dry nursing were options. Dry nursing very common actually (weaning the baby onto food or pastes made of grain - often fatal due to malnutrition or hygiene issues).

And women in "olden times" didn't have all the barriers modern women have although some would be the same. But you'd have every other fertile older woman you know to advise and help you because they would all be experienced with breastfeeding. Mothers today have often never even seen anyone breastfeed before they have a baby.

Ime most of the professionals dispense a hearty portion of guilt instead of meaningful help and advice.

That was my experience as well.

Plus I don't think all the emphais on how babies are fed is helpful - what ever you do someone got an opinion you're doing it wrong - I know from friends and family who ff or mixed fed or expressed and bottle fed expressed milk as well as bf- and so many people feel need to share and mistake their opinions for facts.

I found it hugly demoralised with second when I kept being told by HCP everything would be fine by first 3 months then 20 weeks - seems like an excuse not to offer help then- it wasn't it fine but I kept on and kept of seeking help but then had huge pressure to ff or wean.

It's not even mentioned ( at least around here) but there are also some babieswho just don't want to breastfeed .

It's a learned skill, and because all babies are different you can't even assume it will be easier next time round. I found the first couple of months hard both times, but was lucky to have ample supply and obliging babies who were fast feeders. I really feel for women who find it's painful/difficult/uncomfortable beyond the early weeks. Finding the balance between being honest about how tough it can be (and putting women off trying at all) and promoting it as a good thing is difficult.

I found it so hard and was ready to give up many times, eventually it did slot in to place but I only did 10 months.

@TeckanandMultra

If it was so hard, the human race would have died out well before the invention of formula.

Of course it's time consuming and a commitment, but breastmilk is designed specifically for your baby, so why would you not make that commitment?

See it's comments like this that make new mums feel like crap! It is not always about a lack of commitment. No amount of commitment in the world was going to make sufficient milk come out of my boobs. In fact, looking back, crap like this is why my dc lost the amount of weight that he did. Because I bought into the lie that if it wasn't working it was because I wasn't trying hard enough. Sometimes it just doesn't work. There is absolutely no shame in formula feeding. Instead of judgement a bit of support and understanding would be a million times more effective.

@Lunariagal totally agree. With my first I didn't get the right support...second one I did get a lot of advice on what to do...but it's just about managing everything.

@TeckanandMultra In the olden days women who couldn't breastfeed had wet nurses...

@MrsSchrute totally agree with your comment...