Breastfeeding isn't easy for all mothers...?

[faithfulbird20]

What do you think? I honestly find it the most hardest thing in the world...finding the right tops, cloths, you're feeding one side the other side decides to leak a waterfall, baby doesn't want to latch properly, mild tongue tie, sometimes it's easy, sometimes it's hard and annoying, breast milk has leaked on baby's clothes, baby needs changing. Breastfeeding in front of other people, family etc...

@Trickyboy

And yes... who the hell wants to get up and bottle feed when you can roll over , attach baby and go back to sleep?

3 kids . Never 'got up' in the night once .. it's not woke virtual signalling.. it was pure laziness...

This! My baby was latched on most of the night and I didn't stir. Admittedly not the best for deep slumber but absolutely necessary for maintaining supply.

It's not easy but it's very very rarely impossible. And then it gets so much easier.

DC1 was sheer hard work, cracked nipple, colicky baby etc.
DC2 took to it like a duck to water, but sadly I had to stop as I needed medication that was incompatible with breastfeeding.
Those who are lucky enough to have few or no problems are just that - lucky.
I do think, though, that breastfeeding still isn't 'out there' in our society, and that needs to change, so that women can feel comfortable to breastfeed their baby (if they want) any time and in any place.

BF rates (both initiation and continuation) have increased since the use of the internet has become more widespread so no, I don't think the internet is putting mothers off BF! If anything perhaps it is helping - I wouldn't have had anywhere near the amount of info and support if I hadn't had internet access when DC1 was small.

I simply cannot produce enough breast milk and my babies would have died if I didn’t give them formula.

Just to add, unless you’ve bottle fed you don’t know that’s it’s a “faff” it really isn’t. I much preferred getting up for 10 minutes in the night than having a baby attached to my nipple constantly

Having done it both ways I found that breastfeeding was really tough for first 8 weeks or so but after that was hugely more convenient and easy than bottle feeding. I found it really hurt and was exhausting at first but after that became much easier. My son lost lots of weight but then starting gradually putting it on again as my milk came in. This freaked me out and the midwives got a bit freaked out too. I think new Mums sometimes need to hear it does get easier!

I tried really hard to breastfeed and couldn’t.

I still think it’s a shame we can’t talk about it’s benefits. I know I’m not doing the best for my baby. It can’t be any other way but it doesn’t negate the fact breast milk would be better for him.

As someone who mix fed two children until 3 months and then turned purely to formula I actually like to hear about women who found breastfeeding a breeze as it would have justified that yes, something was wrong rather than what I was hearing which was that I just needed to try harder or have more ‘commitment’ as someone said earlier!

I’ve seen it said in this thread already but I think there has to be further research into how conditions such as PCOS which are seeing increasing rates could be linked to increased rates of breastfeeding issues. I have PCOS and I just wished someone had said ‘you may find breastfeeding harder or maybe even impossible’ rather than telling me ‘it’s very very rare for someone not to be able to bfeed, just keep feeding, get help etc’ It might be v rare for someone to produce no breast milk at all but how about the amounts of milk which is produced? Surely that can vary just as much as any other bodily function/organ varies between person to person?

Fortunately in recent years I think advice and research is taking more of these disorders (some which could be hidden) into account. After all when you’re looking at a baby so dehydrated his temples are sunken and you have consistently been feeding said baby for hours long stretches on the sofa, and yes everyone has seen your latch and ‘it’s all fine’ it’s soul destroying to be told to ‘soldier on’.

I honestly am happy to hear of mums who did find it easy though, as long as the other dialect of ‘you struggled... no commitment... didn’t try’ goes away.

I also found it really hard. And soooo painful I'd end up crying so much just feeding baby. But I persevered and dd had her tongue tie sorted after I sobbed at the midwife long enough.

And then it became wayyy easier than preparing bottles. I did both and gave up on the bottles as I found solely breastfeeding easier eventually. I'd say at least 2 months of pain and hell and then after that when baby got to one year I didn't want to stop at all and would go as far as to say I loved bf baby in the end.
I totally sympathise with anyone who doesn't bother bf or gives up though.

I found it super easy despite having DMER but I had bad pregnancies and birth so its lucky I was good at something! I think a part of it was that I didn't care how baby was fed as long as they were healthy - maybe they were both naturals as they both had tongue ties too. I also had very little cluster feeding weirdly enough and have never been up all night feeding despite both being big babies who didn't lose much birth weight - they were very efficient feeders from a young age
I was also lucky they didn't need winding either so at night was feed and back to sleep - I found that learning how to side feed laying down was the game changer
You do need good breast pads and nipple cream at the start though

I meant to add on my previous post that although physically breast feeding was easy, the mental side was tough. I found it hard having bottle refusing babies so the sole responsibility was on me and I started to get a lot of anxiety around what happens if I get ill - this was triggered by getting norovirus and feeding baby between bouts of vomiting - I was terrified of it happening again and ended up obsessed with hand gel, disinfecting etc - this was pre covid so I was very experienced on covid safety measures!

I was lucky in that it wasn't at all difficult for me, but most things I'd read said that it was really hard, so I don't think most women expect it to be easy. For me it was just really straightforward, literally just copying what I'd seen in books and DD seemed to know what to do. I bought breast pads and nipple cream and never needed to use them, and I just wore normal tops and lifted them up, no vest or muslins needed. I didn't find it painful (until DD started getting her teeth!). I had a c section but DH was around and helped put DD on my lap/cushion, including for night feeds. I was never self conscious about breastfeeding in public, everywhere I visited stated they were happy for women to breastfeed there. DD never took to using a bottle though, so feeding was all down to me, but I didn't find that a problem (have no other dc and wasn't working so I could just feed her on demand).

For me the main downside was being careful about what I ate/medications, I've avoided caffeine and alcohol and codeine for years now (DD only just stopped breastfeeding at nearly 3). But that's probably good for me anyway!

I exclusively breast fed both of my babies except for the first few months of DS1's life when he was tube fed. He was able to go directly from tube feeding to breastfeeding. Neither of my babies ever had a bottle.

The first few days with DS1 were a little bit tricky because we were both learning a new skill. However, I did not find breastfeeding difficult. I realise that other women do find it hard. I totally respect the fact that they have different experiences, feelings and points of view. However, if any first time mums are reading I would want them to know that it is not necessarily difficult. It can be the easiest, cheapest and simplest way to feed your baby. It is also really lovely to sit and feed your baby. You get to read loads of books, watch lots of telly and chill with your baby.

found it hard having bottle refusing babies so the sole responsibility was on me and I started to get a lot of anxiety around what happens if I get ill - this was triggered by getting norovirus and feeding baby between bouts of vomiting -

I had that with my second - with first baby we waited few weeks then did bottle of expressed milk and she'd take that no issue and think we did teh same with the third baby.

With second bf problems were ongoing for many months and I kept being advised not to intoduce a bottle - so by time we tried he wouldn't take it or a cup or anything. I too have a memory of vomiting and still having to bf and everyone insisting of course he'd have a bottle - despite all evidence to the contrary and even DH getting really hacked off with the comments.

Four kids here and still feeding my almost two year old.

It's not difficult for everyone. I've fed three children and never had any problems. Baby needs feeding, I just feed. I don't buy special clothing, aside from a bra. Stopped leaking after about 8 weeks. One case of mastitis, one case of thrush, both easily sorted.

Much easier than farting about with bottles abs formula

It was painful for me at first but ds latched on fine it was tiring at first too far more so than I expected

I didn’t produce enough milk for him though (but have been told more than once on here that I did 🙄)

I ended up passing out feeding him he was a very greedy baby

To add, the only problems I've ever have had is with people telling me it's time to stop/is she feeding again/it's unfair on dad/I'm doing it for me

I didn’t find bottles a faff either after the first few times

I found it a piece of piss, to be honest. I appreciate I am one of the lucky ones. Ended up breastfeeding until DD was 4.5 and was genuinely sad to stop!

Obviously I had sore nipples until they hardened up a bit, and after pains for the first couple of days but she took to it like a duck to water.

@coffeeandgin26

To add, the only problems I've ever have had is with people telling me it's time to stop/is she feeding again/it's unfair on dad/I'm doing it for me

That used to drive me nuts - I'd finally get over the hard bit and suddenly everyone is telling you to stop.

I struggled at the start but some of the things that helped me settle into it were:

• decent bamboo breast pads. Much more absorbent and more comfortable than the disposable ones
• H&M soft sleep bras to hold the breast pads in place overnight
• one up, one down technique for clothes better than specialist BF tops as it maintains your privacy more. A loose top layer and a BF clip top underneath = almost invisible BF.
• drink loads and loads. Always have a bottle or a glass next to you

Good luck OP, it should get easier.

I found bf both of mine so very very easy. I'm rubbish at being pregnant - miscarriages, pre eclampsia, PPH during labour, infections post birth - so it only seems fair that I got an easy ride with one aspect of it 😁 There doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason to it, but I just popped them on and off we went - for two years in both cases.

I think it helped that a) I'm exceptionally lazy so sitting around all day with one boob out and a snuggly baby attached for the first 12 weeks suited me perfectly and b) I really didn't put any pressure on myself to bf. I was totally engaged with the idea of moving to formula if needs be, but we just didn't need to.

@Wondermule

I found breastfeeding really easy - never had any pain/soreness/mastitis etc. Baby doubled her weight in 3 months. Like with PP, I didn’t like the inconvenience - the leaking which no pads could control, smelling of sour milk, soaking through the bed sheets at night, having to get the boob out in the cold outside, painful engorgement, having to do all the wake ups etc. I gave up at the 6 month mark which felt like a good compromise between imparting the health benefits and getting ‘me’ back.

But you'd have every other fertile older woman you know to advise and help you because they would all be experienced with breastfeeding. Mothers today have often never even seen anyone breastfeed before they have a baby.

I don’t really understand this myth that all the elder female relatives of a new mum would flock to their side to impart secret breastfeeding advice. Every woman has different boobs and different babies, it’s not like because your mum found it easy you would as well. Maybe they’d never come across tongue tie, oversupply, thrush etc. Plus many women didn’t live near their family, or didn’t have a good relationship with them etc.

I think most women just had to figure it out, I think it helped they were generally fitter and slimmer than women today as things like PCOS can inhibit milk production.

While much of what you said could be true, there is still no ignoring the fact that in the past, pre-formula days, almost all the women with children around a new mother would have breastfed. A new mother may not be near to, or get on well with her own mother, but the fact remains that there would always be plenty of other women around to offer support. As for individual problems, there would likely be someone around who had experienced the same issue or at least who knew someone else who did. There is simply no replacing the help, support and advice that a new mother would receive, when surrounded by a whole community of breastfeeding mothers.