Arseholes Who've Ruined Groups And Hobbies

[EineReiseDurchDieZeit]

Moved house last year, then COVID happened.

I am CEV and so have done loads of shielding and joining a hobby group I was looking forward to post move hasn't happened but I am on their mailing list. For this specific thing they are my only option locally.

Get emails from the mailing list regularly and having had my interest piqued googled the social media presence of the named sender.

They are clearly an arsehole, a massive, tedious, arsehole with very "set views" which I imagine would need to be agreed with by any incomers, which is not going to happen. (They are a group organiser)

So potentially that's this group out the window...

Which made me think, MNers, were you / have you ever left a group style hobby you really enjoyed because of That One Arsehole and

What did they do? How bad was it?

@00100001

Oh god *@Dailyhandtowelwash*

Sorry WRONG THREAD

There was this fun thread on MN and then a poster popped up and was really mean to me!

@KevinTheGoat the New Chalet Club FB group is a good one with probably lots of familiar names on there. It takes a deconstruction approach a lot of the time and tends to fight back against accusations along the lines of ‘why do you all read the books if you hate them so much?’. Jo is pretty much taken to be a seriously flawed character.

@PomBearWithoutHerOFRS

No she didn't. It was a long story, and not going to derail the thread and debate here, but maybe get the full facts? Ravelry "mafia" were appalling and made the whole thing much worse, both for their own users and Blue Brick.

I guess like so many things there are different versions of the truth out there. If you like gradient yarns I can recommend Violet Lynx. Gorgeous colours and I've always found she despatches before her promised date.

I only really use Ravelry for the patterns, so I’ve not been drawn into any of the drama on there, thank heavens!

Was in a really good writing group but one rather loud mouthed woman started going on about us having to say our pronouns 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄and then started being really offensive about enjoying strip clubs and supporting "sex work" - she has manoeuvred herself into the spotlight now so I've just stopped attending - there's always one - but no one challenges her so I'm out of there 🙄🙄

@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius

I only really use Ravelry for the patterns, so I’ve not been drawn into any of the drama on there, thank heavens!

Me too: I had no idea! A bit worried about the migraine-inducing new design, now.

[quote Dailyhandtowelwash]@KevinTheGoat the New Chalet Club FB group is a good one with probably lots of familiar names on there. It takes a deconstruction approach a lot of the time and tends to fight back against accusations along the lines of ‘why do you all read the books if you hate them so much?’. Jo is pretty much taken to be a seriously flawed character.[/quote]
That sounds fun. I'm on FB hiatus but may join when I get back. I love the books, with a few exceptions like Eustacia and Triplets, but it doesn't mean I can't criticise them.

I'm also one of the many people who loves Joey as a child, and to a lesser extent as a young mother, but I find her unbearable in the Switzerland books (although she is great in Richenda) and think the Maynards are an incredibly fucked-up family.

Are all the fanfic/fill-in writers on there? I know most of them are on the CBB.

@KevinTheGoat yes, a good number of them are. It’s mostly good-natured with flash points around the odd sensitive thing.

I shall check out Violet Lynx.
No such thing as too much yarn in the stash

Absolutely correct, @PomBearWithoutHerOFRS - I have STABLE (stash acquired beyond life expectancy) but I don’t let that stop me lusting after more yarn!

Incidentally I see from another thread today that the Chalet School attracts arguments like iron filings to a magnet! Given that a series of school books regularly appears to create animosity, is it any wonder that groups of people appear to struggle to function in almost any context without falling out?

We never did find out what caused the huge rift within the Guy Fawkes committee that my dad used to be in.
Dad was one of the lynchpins of his local bonfire organising group and would spend ages planning new firework arrangements, various crazy ideas for the guy, barbecues, ideal siting for the bonfire itself to ensure maximum impact and minimum need for the fire brigade.
The village bonfire came to a messy end about 5 years ago and it's apparently all Graham's fault. Dad and his mate Tony still aren't talking to him.

I went along to a local yoga class they weren't overly friendly but, I wasn't too fussed as I'd only gone for the yoga , a couple of other ladies started after me and we used to say hi and have a bit of a chat before the class
After about 4 weeks me and the other ladies turned up on the regular evening to an empty room , no lights on and no leader . We went to reception as it was in a sports centre , to find out that there was no class as they'd all gone on their Christmas do . Nobody had invited us or at least informed us there was no class . I must admit feeling very left out and really pissed off that the leader didn't have the manners to just mention when paying our dues that there would be no class that week . I didn't go back

@Starbonnet123 that's awful!

I started in a workplace a few weeks before Christmas. One group of women on the shift were arranging a night out and sat whispering in groups so that three of us who were new starters would not hear their arrangements. One night I told them "You dont need to whisper on my account as I would not want to socialize with a group of people who arrange a christmas night out and don't have the courtesy to ask everyone. Its obvious we come from very different social classes."

You should have seen their faces!

I hope you gave them some aloe vera for that burn, @sneakysnoopysniper! That was an epic response.

Yes
They dictated as if they were the boss, told me to have more commitment to running session that they had asked me to lead (this isn’t work dds)

I joined another local club locally and found out it had been started to get away from same problem!

@Dailyhandtowelwash

Incidentally I see from another thread today that the Chalet School attracts arguments like iron filings to a magnet! Given that a series of school books regularly appears to create animosity, is it any wonder that groups of people appear to struggle to function in almost any context without falling out?

The most innocuous things can be super wanky. I'm old enough to remember Livejournal and I wasn't on Ravelry, but I knew it was a huge source of drama. Same with loads of cutesy kids shows like My Little Pony and Steven Universe, which has a VICIOUS fandom.

Also which thread is it, @Dailyhandtowelwash?

It seems to have been deleted! It was one asking how to get hold of the Drop Box file with the book texts on it.

[quote LeaveMyDamnJam]@LadyCounterblast love the —vogon— poetry reference 🤣[/quote]

Yes!

@ShagMeRiggins. Thank you for explaining, sometimes the abbreviations are not obvious to me.💐

I’m loving this thread, it’s compulsive reading! Thanks OP!

I’ve NC’d for this as could be outing.
I’m a first time mum to be and currently doing online antenatal classes with DH.
One woman, let’s call her Nellie (quite possibly the daughter of Roy and Barbara) has endless problems with her laptop every single week. She often can’t login at the start and is late joining. We then have a full explanation of her laptop problems every single week. We hear all about the fact she keeps getting glitches / is thrown out and has to request to join again / she’s not showing on the camera / can see us but we can’t see her and vice versa / misses exercises and needs the teacher to tell her what she’s missed / can’t see the slides / etc, etc, etc, it goes on and on week after week after every single week.

The best of it is our Nellie has been having laptop problems well before the antenatal group and can’t seem to get it sorted and it’s causing her problems with working from home and linking up for her work meetings. But she seems visibly annoyed about it every time it happens and tells the teacher each and every time it happens. The teacher can’t do much more than say to her I’m sorry you’re having problems maybe try logging out and rejoining / contacting course admin who might be able to advise / try using a tablet or your phone. One week Nell thought her camera wasn’t working but we could see her and she was rolling her eyes at the teacher who was trying to help her. I felt she reached a whole new level that week. It’s all so distracting and is not the fault of the teacher or anybody else on the course. But only Nellie doesn’t seem to recognise that.

We are all trying to gain information and calm our nerves about our forthcoming arrivals and Nellie is putting a dampener on it, for me and DH anyway. It feels like all of the participants are quietly seething in a typically ‘don’t say anything’ type of way but the looks of bemusement say it all.

The good thing about not being able to go to the classes in real life means we can sit in the comfort of our own home, eating snacks whilst having to listen to Nellie’s monologues!

Sorry that was so long, I feel much better for blurting all of that out!

Pregnancy yoga was mine.

I had recently moved to the area where DH had grown up, but knew no one apart from him and his family.
Pregnant with our first I thought I'd better get out and meet people so tried a yoga group.
For I think 3 months I persisted. The other women were ok, but not hugely outgoing, but the teacher was cliquey and rude.

Every week we'd say our names/how far along we were etc, she'd remember everyone's - except mine - she'd pause and go 'Err and you are?', no apology. She also knew DH and had no trouble remembering his name .

Gave up in the end, and met some lovely people at the local toddler group once baby had been born.

Yes totally midsummer murders gold!!