I’ve been sent a message meant for someone else, slagging off my appearance

[CheckYourWhatsAppBeforeYouSend]

NC'd for this as it's very outing. But if anyone recognises the situation then meh.

I changed my FB profile picture today for the first time in about 3 years. It was a normal selfie of just me (I don't like having my kids in my profile pictures). I only did it because I'd coloured and styled my hair and tried my new make up, as something to do more than anything! and thought it looked quite nice (as opposed to rocking my usual Worzel Gummidge look) so thought it's time for an update on social media. I didn't use any filters or photoshopping (don't know how anyway). I got a few compliments on my comments which was nice!

Anyway, I'm part of a WhatsApp group for mums in my 8yo DD's class. There's a few mums who are best friends. One of these mums - obviously meant for maybe their own little WhatsApp group, or one of the other mothers - sent a screenshot of my profile picture with the caption "Funny how she doesn't look like this on the school run. The things that Face tune can do for a person 😹😹'.

It was deleted almost straight away but I saw it and got a screenshot of what she sent.

I'm pretty upset and pissed off - which is unlike me but aside from the fact that I DIDN'T use photo editing, this seems to me like they maybe slag me off on a regular basis? I'm not friends with any of the other mums, I say hello etc and make small talk at parties but didn't ever think I'd done anything to warrant being made fun of.

Anyway to not drip feed - the one who sent it is a teacher in the DC's school. I don't know who exactly she was meant to send it to but assuming she just got the wrong mum's group?

Anyway I'm posting to ask for help. Should I

1. Ignore it, pretend I never saw it - I will be totally honest I have in the past sent screen shots to a friend of ridiculous things people we dislike have said. Never other school mums though, I'm far too indifferent to them.
2. Come back with a witty and cutting reply.
3. Confront the mum (and teacher) who said it - to clarify she's taught both my DD and DS in the past, and is a good teacher.
4. Something else
5. Get over it, these things happen it's just it happened to me this time.

Feeling pretty shit

I’d just reply - Oops, awkward!

Simple, non-bitchy, gets the message across that you saw it.

But anyway .... where is @CheckYourWhatsAppBeforeYouSend?

Send ' screenshot saved for DD's next bullying project '

The fact she's a teacher makes it ten times worse imo. These are the people that are supposed to be a good example to our children!
I'd report her I think. She was really nasty.

@DareIask love it that would be something I would send

Kettledodger you are missing out on long held grudges and quiet social freezing.

@MedusasBadHairDay

I'd ask whether the school has an anti- bullying week planned

YES!!

Just out of curiosity, you could always ask her if she can confirm what IS the school's policy on the use of social media, in particular cyberbullying, and does it apply to staff as well?

Just reread and you do have a screenshot. Take it to the head and show him/her exactly what kind of person is representing their school!

for those saying 'ignore it' or similar, is this someone you would want to deal with when discussing a child's bullying issue? It's a 'mean girls' clique. This teacher is a part of it. It's not someone I would trust to support my child if there was a similar clique causing problems. I wouldn't respond at all in the whatsapp, it's a discussion with the HT on both SM use, professional boundaries but also modelling the behaviour we'd like our children to display. And, yes, I accept teachers are human, I'd accept them sounding off about the school, but this was just plain bullying behaviour. Once you've dealt with a child or teen who has been the subject of this you'd realise just how awful it is

Yeah, you definitely need to call that out, if you don't say anything she'll think she deleted the message in time for you not to see it. Don't be bitchy or nasty about it, just say something like 'I really don't appreciate that, it's very inappropriate' and then mute the group

I’d report to head teacher. How unprofessional and bitchy. Is she 12?

@OldRailer sometimes I do wish I could do the silent treatment it would've saved me a lot of hassle throughout the years but I think my mental health would have suffered instead. The need to tell people when I'm pissed off is immense

Aww, how awful. I hope you're okay. I don't know how should respond but i would feel hurt at that and i echo other comments that people bitch to bond, not to actually be bullying towards others. But wtf, a teacher! How dare she!

"The things that screen shotting can do to messages sent to the wrong person..."

OP?

Surely this is a huge compliment, unless I’m missing something? I’d turn it into a joke and say something along the lines

‘Ouch, that’s embarrassing. I’m sure I wasn’t meant to see it, but no hard feelings, I don’t take social media too seriously’

And then follow it with this gif m.imgur.com/gallery/NJP4T3b

I once had an email, not meant for me, criticising me for a decision if made when I had just started a new job.

I replied saying " thanks for the heads up, but I don't think you meant to send this to me".

She did the decent thing, came to me and apolagised. Everything was fine after that.

Dh reckons you should take it to the head, it's unprofessional hope she doesn't talk about the kids like that

She should know better and he said she's a c**t
Sorry op you got sent this

She's a teacher. I'd definitely not ignore it. What a classy woman she sounds

Wow, thank you all for your messages so much great advice!

Reading through, I don't want to ignore it. They'll just assume they deleted it quickly and I didn't see.

Re reporting to the Head - a PP is right when they said she'd get a ticking off and I would be hated for getting Ms Campbell into trouble! Plus, I'm a teacher too in a secondary school. I don't like to land one of my own in it (even if she is a great big twat).

So what does everyone think of this:

1. Reply in the thread "I don't think I was meant to see that deleted screenshot was I?" (As a bit of self serving comeuppance/making them all shit themselves)

1. PM the mum who sent it and say something along the lines of, from one teacher to another, you need to be careful about forming allegiances with other parents and bitching about another mum. Whilst I won't report it, another person would and so you need to be more professional. Also as a teacher to another, we teach pupils about online bullying and we need to set that example too. I am a PSHE lead and I am happy to send resources to you about appropriate online communications that I use in my teaching?

Can't help but get a PA dig in there at the end

I vote for Stablefeet's response.

Perfect.

Oh and sorry for taking ages to reply everyone, I've been prepping for lessons on Monday (hurrah, very excited) all afternoon definitely haven't been drinking wine on my own

2

Great, tit for tat bullshit. Pathetic.