I’ve been sent a message meant for someone else, slagging off my appearance

[CheckYourWhatsAppBeforeYouSend]

NC'd for this as it's very outing. But if anyone recognises the situation then meh.

I changed my FB profile picture today for the first time in about 3 years. It was a normal selfie of just me (I don't like having my kids in my profile pictures). I only did it because I'd coloured and styled my hair and tried my new make up, as something to do more than anything! and thought it looked quite nice (as opposed to rocking my usual Worzel Gummidge look) so thought it's time for an update on social media. I didn't use any filters or photoshopping (don't know how anyway). I got a few compliments on my comments which was nice!

Anyway, I'm part of a WhatsApp group for mums in my 8yo DD's class. There's a few mums who are best friends. One of these mums - obviously meant for maybe their own little WhatsApp group, or one of the other mothers - sent a screenshot of my profile picture with the caption "Funny how she doesn't look like this on the school run. The things that Face tune can do for a person 😹😹'.

It was deleted almost straight away but I saw it and got a screenshot of what she sent.

I'm pretty upset and pissed off - which is unlike me but aside from the fact that I DIDN'T use photo editing, this seems to me like they maybe slag me off on a regular basis? I'm not friends with any of the other mums, I say hello etc and make small talk at parties but didn't ever think I'd done anything to warrant being made fun of.

Anyway to not drip feed - the one who sent it is a teacher in the DC's school. I don't know who exactly she was meant to send it to but assuming she just got the wrong mum's group?

Anyway I'm posting to ask for help. Should I

1. Ignore it, pretend I never saw it - I will be totally honest I have in the past sent screen shots to a friend of ridiculous things people we dislike have said. Never other school mums though, I'm far too indifferent to them.
   
2. Come back with a witty and cutting reply.
   
3. Confront the mum (and teacher) who said it - to clarify she's taught both my DD and DS in the past, and is a good teacher.
   
4. Something else
   
5. Get over it, these things happen it's just it happened to me this time.
   

Feeling pretty shit

[Hidinge]

'I'll take that as a compliment, thanks. #nofilter'

[1WayOrAnother2]

It looks like a back-handed compliment:

You agree that you don't usually dress up for school drop-off? (You did talk about Worzel Gummage) - so pretty normal for most of us :)!

1st: The poster was reacting to your remarkably different look. (So obviously very different from usual look.) It was good enough that she noticed it and was struck enough to want to show it to others. Clearly, you succeeded in making a great change.

2nd: You did such a good job that the poster couldn't believe it was all just you.

I'd take that as a success all round - well done.
(The poster is also now cringing with embarrassment - another effortless win for you.)

[EmmaGrundyForPM]

So she teaches in the school but her daughter is also a pupil? I would say that she should be very careful about where her professional boundaries lie.
If she wasn't a teacher I'd probably just let it go. But she is a teacher and needs to reflect on the appropriateness of this.

[Teardrop2021]

If she's a teacher at you're school she's not pretty professional and I would question her conduct to be honest so I would be contacting the school that behaviour is not on at all and a form of bullying

[Teardrop2021]

Particularly*

[ummmmbop]

I'm sorry but the fact that she is a teacher at your DC school I think takes this to another level of awful. I'd go to the school and show the headteacher. And I'd ask the headteacher if this is inline with anti bullying policy!

If it was just another mum having a bitch then I'd just reply on the group and out her, but the fact that you stand a chance of seeing her regularly in her work place, and your DC's may end up in her class etc makes what she did really bad. I'm furious for you OP!

[Newfor2021]

I’d post back the screenshot to the group (so everyone can see what a cowbag she is!) then post ‘No filters needed thanks (insert twat faces name) and add a wink 😉 emoji and maybe even a 😘

😂😂😂

[MyGodImSoYoung]

I'd be tempted to reply 'Oops, that's a bit awkward 'insert name'' Don't let your emotions show, but let her know you saw the message before it was deleted.

[Newfor2021]

Oh and I would totally ask one of my friends to inform the school of her behaviour too!

[Howdoin]

@StellaStarfleet

I would be tempted to pop a comment into the group chat like, "You may have deleted that quickly but I still saw it," and leave it at that. I would just want her to know that I knew.

^this

[Xyzzzzz]

@ummmmbop

I'm sorry but the fact that she is a teacher at your DC school I think takes this to another level of awful. I'd go to the school and show the headteacher. And I'd ask the headteacher if this is inline with anti bullying policy!

If it was just another mum having a bitch then I'd just reply on the group and out her, but the fact that you stand a chance of seeing her regularly in her work place, and your DC's may end up in her class etc makes what she did really bad. I'm furious for you OP!

I think I’d do the same.

[ItsAHardKn0ckLife1]

@Hidinge yes OP please send this!

[DenisetheMenace]

Just seen she’s a teacher there.
Blimey, that’s unprofessional.

[whatsthis4]

@onyourway

Send back 'I'm not sure this was meant for me' and then move on, don't respond further, ignore any pleading messages and when you next see them, slap a big smile on your face.

When they go low, raise yourself high

Yes this. I would definitely let them know that you saw it.

[Apileofballyhoo]

Kind of flattering that your undoctored photo looked like it had filters or whatever on it.

I'm not one for getting dressed up for the school run myself. It's not a wedding, is it? Though a good coat and shoes cover all manner of less than perfect clothes underneath.

[Shantotto]

If this the way a teacher behaves I would have to take it further. It’s disgusting.

[inchplant]

What a bitch

[WhenTwoBecomeThree]

I couldn't bite my tongue, I'd have to let them know I'd seen it and hope they felt awkward every time they saw me whilst I trotted around with my head held high

[Streats]

I don’t really think this is ok to just ignore. I would in all honesty send the screenshot to the headteacher. She works at the school
and has been slagging off one parent to others. It’s bullying. OR I would re-post the screenshot in the group with a short comment like ‘I hope you aren’t teaching our children that this kind of behaviour is ok’ and then stay silent.

[AnotherEmma]

I agree with the last two posts. If she was just a parent, I'd ignore it (would be hurt though) but the fact that she's a teacher at the school makes her message pretty shocking tbh - it's so unprofessional. If teachers have children at the school and are going to be joining parent groups on social media, they need to be very careful indeed about what they say. The school might even have a social media policy for employees. If I were you I'd be tempted to send the screenshot to the head. Or send her a private message saying that you saw her message and please could she be more careful about her social media activity especially as she is a teacher at the school and not just a parent, and it doesn't look good or fill you with confidence in her professionalism.

[FreezerBird]

@MyGodImSoYoung

I'd be tempted to reply 'Oops, that's a bit awkward 'insert name'' Don't let your emotions show, but let her know you saw the message before it was deleted.

Or "Well this is a bit embarrassing. For you, I mean."

[Pulledamonica]

She needs to know you saw it.

[lightyearsahead]

How about " ha, ha, thanks for the compliment, no filtered needed!"

Then don't engage.

[Muddledupme]

You could start to send a message so it comes up as typing then send a blank but let it come up as typing for a few hours. Also maybe complain to the school it's very unprofessional for a teacher to do this and I would definitely question her judgment.

[activitythree]

I would 100% take that to the head teacher, not before posting my screenshot in the group to let her know I had it and would be taking action.
People like her need to be taught that this is not ok.