I’ve been sent a message meant for someone else, slagging off my appearance

[CheckYourWhatsAppBeforeYouSend]

NC'd for this as it's very outing. But if anyone recognises the situation then meh.

I changed my FB profile picture today for the first time in about 3 years. It was a normal selfie of just me (I don't like having my kids in my profile pictures). I only did it because I'd coloured and styled my hair and tried my new make up, as something to do more than anything! and thought it looked quite nice (as opposed to rocking my usual Worzel Gummidge look) so thought it's time for an update on social media. I didn't use any filters or photoshopping (don't know how anyway). I got a few compliments on my comments which was nice!

Anyway, I'm part of a WhatsApp group for mums in my 8yo DD's class. There's a few mums who are best friends. One of these mums - obviously meant for maybe their own little WhatsApp group, or one of the other mothers - sent a screenshot of my profile picture with the caption "Funny how she doesn't look like this on the school run. The things that Face tune can do for a person 😹😹'.

It was deleted almost straight away but I saw it and got a screenshot of what she sent.

I'm pretty upset and pissed off - which is unlike me but aside from the fact that I DIDN'T use photo editing, this seems to me like they maybe slag me off on a regular basis? I'm not friends with any of the other mums, I say hello etc and make small talk at parties but didn't ever think I'd done anything to warrant being made fun of.

Anyway to not drip feed - the one who sent it is a teacher in the DC's school. I don't know who exactly she was meant to send it to but assuming she just got the wrong mum's group?

Anyway I'm posting to ask for help. Should I

1. Ignore it, pretend I never saw it - I will be totally honest I have in the past sent screen shots to a friend of ridiculous things people we dislike have said. Never other school mums though, I'm far too indifferent to them.
   
2. Come back with a witty and cutting reply.
   
3. Confront the mum (and teacher) who said it - to clarify she's taught both my DD and DS in the past, and is a good teacher.
   
4. Something else
   
5. Get over it, these things happen it's just it happened to me this time.
   

Feeling pretty shit

[TwoBreakingIntoOne]

A good outcome and very satisfying to know she has been bricking herself

[Paprilka701]

Haggisburger I know as soon as I posted I realised I'd managed to miss about three pages of the thread. Apologies!

Op - that's a very gracious response!

[Inthevirtualwaitingroom]

glad you have cleared the air, she put out the olive branch. it was a compliment and not a bitch to whatsapp

[HaggisBurger]

@Paprilka701

I think I would send a message saying "I assume this was sent in error. Unprofessional conduct for a teacher" and leave her to sweat.

@Paprilka701 you may wish to use the “read all” function on OP’s posts. We’ve moved on rather, as is often the case 40 pages in 😂😂

[UhtredRagnarson]

@CheckYourWhatsAppBeforeYouSend

To clarify her DH does pick up as she often does after school club so he does me

In that case they’ve obviously been having a bitch about your appearance prior to this. Nasty fuckers.

[Fatas]

Totally agree with @ThatQuietOne

[Paprilka701]

I think I would send a message saying "I assume this was sent in error. Unprofessional conduct for a teacher" and leave her to sweat.

[Lullaby88]

I'd address it with her on a 1.1 without much drama just letting her know i saw the message. Then just leave it and carry on as normal. U know not to trust this person so no point wasting energy on her.

[CheckYourWhatsAppBeforeYouSend]

To clarify her DH does pick up as she often does after school club so he does me

[pommedeterre]

Never smile at her again. Death stare.

[ThatQuietOne]

I’ve been following this OP and think you might be my new girl crush 😆. What a brilliant example of how to stand up for yourself while remaining dignified and kind. I wouldn’t think any more about whether the message was really intended for her husband - you’ve remained dignified and will have made her think long and hard.

[ExtraordinaryQuince]

Also I notice she hasn't put anything in writing.

I'd be tempted to speak to the head in confidence anyway.

[IndecentFeminist]

Indeed, unless her dh regularly does the school run and knows you enough for it to mean something to him, there's no way it was intended for him. She's saying that because you made the point about teaming up with certain parents.

Makes no odds now, but I agree that she has played you very carefully.

[RollOnSummer21]

Well handled OP, but I agree with Pictish he is lying her tits off about that message being for her husband . I'm sure you will be wary of her going forward but do keep in mind she does likely have another group bitching chat on the go.

[ExtraordinaryQuince]

So now you know she's bitchy and a liar!

[pictish]

Glad she apologised but she is lying her tits off about that message being for her husband. She knows fine well that a teacher slagging off one of her pupil’s parents to other parents on social media, is completely unprofessional and would be taken a thoroughly dim view of by her authority. I work in a school (I’m an early years practitioner) and I wouldn’t dream of joining a parents’ chat group in the first place, much less be so fucking stupid as to bitch about another parent on it. She might be popular but she’s also an idiot...and a liar.

[Piglet89]

“You let it out, honey. Put it in the book!”

#meangirls

[HaggisBurger]

@CheckYourWhatsAppBeforeYouSend - I think you’re a good person. Much karma is due to you. And fair play to her for picking up the phone.

Still slightly 🤷🏻‍♀️ about the discussion of your appearance with her DH. That’s just so odd. But hey ho. I think we can say she was very worried

[GinAndTonicOnIt]

Very well handled 👑 she was clearly shitting herself that you might report her. But her response was ok considering, very cringed mind, but what else could she have said really!

--Although I don't believe for one moment that her message was meant for her husband

[alsodetoxing]

Good to know she wasn't trying to gossip about you to other parents. We can all let ourselves down, especially if we think we're not in public. You both seem decent and I wouldn't give this another thought. A moment of poor judgement that she's paid dearly for in terms of angst and you have your apology.

[mabelandivy]

Might be a bit extreme, but I would report it to the school. It's extremely unprofessional coming from a teacher regarding a parent and I think she be pulled up for it. It's bullying - hardly a great role model for the children she teaches.

[Cinderstella]

A teacher at your DD’s school sending a message like that to a Mum’s WhatsApp group!?!? That just should not be happening! I would take it up with the school head teacher before letting her know that you’ve seen it. It’s pretty inappropriate behaviour for anyone but very inappropriate and unprofessional of the teacher. .......and I’m not against teachers by the way. I am one myself.

[ktp100]

Well done, OP!

You dealt with this brilliantly.

[BillMasen]

So nothing from the OP or anyone else on this

“ I will be totally honest I have in the past sent screen shots to a friend of ridiculous things people we dislike have said. Never other school mums though, I'm far too indifferent to them. ”

I think there’s a bit of hypocrisy going on tbh

[NoseinBook3]

@IFoundMyselfInThisBar

This will definitely make her change her behaviour in future. Well done OP, well handled

Yes, she’ll double check who she’s sending messages to before she presses send. However she’s a nasty, vile cow and that will continue.

This