I’ve been sent a message meant for someone else, slagging off my appearance

[CheckYourWhatsAppBeforeYouSend]

NC'd for this as it's very outing. But if anyone recognises the situation then meh.

I changed my FB profile picture today for the first time in about 3 years. It was a normal selfie of just me (I don't like having my kids in my profile pictures). I only did it because I'd coloured and styled my hair and tried my new make up, as something to do more than anything! and thought it looked quite nice (as opposed to rocking my usual Worzel Gummidge look) so thought it's time for an update on social media. I didn't use any filters or photoshopping (don't know how anyway). I got a few compliments on my comments which was nice!

Anyway, I'm part of a WhatsApp group for mums in my 8yo DD's class. There's a few mums who are best friends. One of these mums - obviously meant for maybe their own little WhatsApp group, or one of the other mothers - sent a screenshot of my profile picture with the caption "Funny how she doesn't look like this on the school run. The things that Face tune can do for a person 😹😹'.

It was deleted almost straight away but I saw it and got a screenshot of what she sent.

I'm pretty upset and pissed off - which is unlike me but aside from the fact that I DIDN'T use photo editing, this seems to me like they maybe slag me off on a regular basis? I'm not friends with any of the other mums, I say hello etc and make small talk at parties but didn't ever think I'd done anything to warrant being made fun of.

Anyway to not drip feed - the one who sent it is a teacher in the DC's school. I don't know who exactly she was meant to send it to but assuming she just got the wrong mum's group?

Anyway I'm posting to ask for help. Should I

1. Ignore it, pretend I never saw it - I will be totally honest I have in the past sent screen shots to a friend of ridiculous things people we dislike have said. Never other school mums though, I'm far too indifferent to them.
2. Come back with a witty and cutting reply.
3. Confront the mum (and teacher) who said it - to clarify she's taught both my DD and DS in the past, and is a good teacher.
4. Something else
5. Get over it, these things happen it's just it happened to me this time.

Feeling pretty shit

In any other situation I would probably just ignore. But she is a teacher, she is supposed to be a role model for anti-bullying. I’d report it to the head teacher, this may just be one instance in a pattern of inappropriate behaviour but the head can only deal with that if they know about it.

That is really nasty. I would report to the Head. Not professional to be mingling with other mums but to actually slag off another mum to a bunch of mums is even worse.

@AlbusSeverusMalfoy

Send the screen shot followed by a selfie of you hair ruffled, sticking your tongue out, middle finger up and say 'is this better?'

This is my absolute favourite suggestion

@Streats

I don’t really think this is ok to just ignore. I would in all honesty send the screenshot to the headteacher. She works at the school and has been slagging off one parent to others. It’s bullying. OR I would re-post the screenshot in the group with a short comment like ‘I hope you aren’t teaching our children that this kind of behaviour is ok’ and then stay silent.

This, it’s outrageous that a teacher at your DCs school has done this. I would flip my lid.

I have an question as an American, do British kids not have school buses? Because in America you just wave your kid goodbye and they go off and catch the bus and you never have to see the other parents unless you are volunteering for something or attending the school play, etc.

If it were me I'd want her to know she didn't get away with it and you saw the message. If it makes you feel any better I bet she is absolutely mortified and rightly so!!! The fact she's a teacher makes this situation 100% worse! I don't think any Mum looks like their DP on the school run I know I certainly don't 🙄
She must be a pretty miserable person though to be so bitchy about someone it sounds like she barley knows!

Cheeky mare..i would be texting back..no way would i let her think she got away with you not seeing it before she deleted it...i'd start with assuring her your picture is totally natural and then press her to explain what she finds so offensive about your appearance..drag it out..repeatedly put her on the spot then finish with telling her you feel it is very unprofessional and you will be reporting her to school...but dont do it immediately..make her squirm..the bitch

Also the fact she even knows what this FaceTune is makes me think she probably uses it?! I've never heard of it until reading this post but maybe I'm just not down with the kids

@hotsouple

I have an question as an American, do British kids not have school buses? Because in America you just wave your kid goodbye and they go off and catch the bus and you never have to see the other parents unless you are volunteering for something or attending the school play, etc.

No, most of us have to take them right up to the school door and wait for the bell to ring so there is, or at least was, quite a lot of drop off/ pick up mingling and a bit of a school social scene can result for those who become invested.

I'd take it to the HT.

I'd also wait a week to let her sweat, then text her saying 'You do realise how much power I have now over you??'.

17 pages of replies and nothing from OP, dying to know what you did in the end op.

I would definitely screenshot back with "dont this was meant for me"

And sit back, happy in the knowledge she is now absolutely crawling up her arsehole!

Head teacher 100%

Totally unprofessional.

@Gherkinbee

"No filter for me....and apparently not for you either".

This is genius.

A vote from DH & myself.

Also the fact she even knows what this FaceTune is makes me think she probably uses it?!

^Facetune = Facebook, surely?

I wouldnt say anything on the Whatssapp.let her think shes got away with it.
But email the head with the message and let them deal with it.

OP I would HAVE to reply!
I’d just put something like - if I knew how to use filters I definitely would - do it’s jokey but also letting them know you’ve seen the message and you don’t use filters.

What an absolute bitch! If she wasn’t your DCs teacher I’d have given her a mouth full. Everyone updates their picture with what they think is the best one and everyone is going to look different on their profile picture to the school run what an absolute dickish thing to say!

No filter for me....and apparently not for you either

If she wasn’t a teacher I’d defo go for this.

If it were just another school parent I'd say ignore, but this is a teacher I'd go straight to the head.

Take no notice.

@hotsouple it depends where you live. When I was young we lived quite rurally so took the school bus as there was only one for all of the little villages around but my DD used to be walked to school as it was in walking distance so no bus provided. There were about 3 schools in the one town.

@BlueThistles

where is OP

Hmm I wonder.

I would reply as others have suggested “I presume you didn’t mean to send that to me. I saw it before you deleted.” No emotion but let her know you saw it.

Report to head teacher. That is an awful example to set to her students what a horrible person

No flipping way should you ignore this!!!!!! Take it further! Nasty bitch