I’ve been sent a message meant for someone else, slagging off my appearance

[CheckYourWhatsAppBeforeYouSend]

NC'd for this as it's very outing. But if anyone recognises the situation then meh.

I changed my FB profile picture today for the first time in about 3 years. It was a normal selfie of just me (I don't like having my kids in my profile pictures). I only did it because I'd coloured and styled my hair and tried my new make up, as something to do more than anything! and thought it looked quite nice (as opposed to rocking my usual Worzel Gummidge look) so thought it's time for an update on social media. I didn't use any filters or photoshopping (don't know how anyway). I got a few compliments on my comments which was nice!

Anyway, I'm part of a WhatsApp group for mums in my 8yo DD's class. There's a few mums who are best friends. One of these mums - obviously meant for maybe their own little WhatsApp group, or one of the other mothers - sent a screenshot of my profile picture with the caption "Funny how she doesn't look like this on the school run. The things that Face tune can do for a person 😹😹'.

It was deleted almost straight away but I saw it and got a screenshot of what she sent.

I'm pretty upset and pissed off - which is unlike me but aside from the fact that I DIDN'T use photo editing, this seems to me like they maybe slag me off on a regular basis? I'm not friends with any of the other mums, I say hello etc and make small talk at parties but didn't ever think I'd done anything to warrant being made fun of.

Anyway to not drip feed - the one who sent it is a teacher in the DC's school. I don't know who exactly she was meant to send it to but assuming she just got the wrong mum's group?

Anyway I'm posting to ask for help. Should I

1. Ignore it, pretend I never saw it - I will be totally honest I have in the past sent screen shots to a friend of ridiculous things people we dislike have said. Never other school mums though, I'm far too indifferent to them.
2. Come back with a witty and cutting reply.
3. Confront the mum (and teacher) who said it - to clarify she's taught both my DD and DS in the past, and is a good teacher.
4. Something else
5. Get over it, these things happen it's just it happened to me this time.

Feeling pretty shit

or, you could say.

Her husband messaged saying it's one for the wank bank

@Gherkinbee

"No filter for me....and apparently not for you either".

Don’t leave her shitting it that you will tell the head, actually tell the head. I’m a teacher and am good friends with a teaching assistant who has a kid in our school, I wouldn’t even dream of talking about parents to her.

Pulling people down doesn’t build you up!

Don’t let her get away with it! Say something. Not sure what yet. Bullies need people to stand up to them, yes we all screen shot ridiculous things but it takes a special kind of dick to make fun of the way someone looks

@FourTeaFallOut

I can't believe how many people would say nothing or would spend their time trying to formulate some kind of witty gotcha retort. This is ridiculous, grow up and deal with things properly.

This. It's bad enough slagging you off, but to screenshot your Facebook profile?!! This is gross professional misconduct. I work in a school, trust me, this will not be a one off, and I bet money she has equal disdain for some of the children. Please do the right thing and report it.

The fact she accidentally posted it in the public group is karma. What goes around, comes around!

She’s a teacher?? Fuck that, I would send the screenshot to her headteacher. How can you expect such a cretin to teach children good morals and not to bully others?

@AnneElliott

I would report this as she's a teacher. All the teachers I know are so careful with social media - a rightly so.

I'd send it to the HT in an email. I agree with a pp who is a Governor. What else is she sharing on there that she shouldn't be?

Why does it matter that’s she’s a teacher in this scenario? It isn’t an official school WhatsApp group and she doesn’t currently teach the OPs children. It’s like reporting a random GP from your practice because they queue jumped you in Tesco or something. She’s behaved badly, but not in a professional capacity.

I’d go with the very early suggestion of ‘Not sure this was meant for me’ and move on, OP. No doubt she will die a thousand deaths over it.

Why would you even need to get dressed up to the nines for the school run of all things anyway? Of course you’re going to look different, it’s not like an actual outing is it

I would post my screenshot and say I wonder what Mrs/mr (headteacher) would say if one of the pupils had sent something like this?

Ruin her weekend. The absolute witch.

Did you say she is a teacher at the school? If so, it is absolutely inappropriate and unprofessional that she is in a WhatApp group with Mums. I would have a face to face chat with her. It will be uncomfortable but the best way of dealing with it. Look her in the whites of her eyes and see what she has to say!!

@Borntohula

Does it really matter that she's a teacher? Teachers are only human.

However, it does surprise me. Bitching about other people's appearances is something I'd associate with teenagers, it's just such a weird thing to get a kick out of as an adult.

I wouldn't want her to think it had got to me so as per pp suggestion, I'd say I'd take it as a compliment. Then she knows you've seen it but that you're dismissing her opinion.

Yes of course it matters lot!!! She has training which specifically mentions not to do this!
What other rules specific to the job is she not following?

@Gherkinbee

"No filter for me....and apparently not for you either".

Hahahaha. Love this!

Don’t leave the group! If anyone should be leaving the group it’s her.

@DownstairsMixUp

I would send the screen shot back and just say "wrong chat?" And leave it at that. Next time you see them just act very sweet.

This.

All you need to make them squirm.

What a bitch , she should be whiter than white in her role , should she even be involved on social media with parents ?
Her opinion of parents / pupils should be kept to herself ,you say she is a good teacher , this would completely change my view on her .
I think i would privately message her so she knows you know , tell her how unprofessional she's been , but let her sweat as to whether you will be taking it further or not .

Like a PP, I'm a parent governor and I know our head would be furious and so disappointed if a member of staff behaved that way. Staff sign behaviour policies for good reasons and she has breached the policy. I would advise that you don't enter into any contact with her or reply in any way. I would request a call with head backed up by emailing your screenshot. Follow the complaints procedure to the letter. You can only go to the governing body if you don't feel satisfied with your complaint.

She will be feeling very uneasy right now. As well she should be.

I think it matters quite a lot actually that she's a teacher. All professionals have SM codes of conduct - and they're in place for a reason.

And I'd be concerned that the message to op isn't the only inappropriate thing she's shared on her more price what's app groups.

where is OP

I would send the screen shot back and just say "wrong chat?" And leave it at that. Next time you see them just act very sweet.

Absolutely this. And then raise with the Head. I wouldn't want a nasty little bully like that teaching my kids - what a thoroughly unpleasant person. She's clearly envious of you looking so fab!

I like the idea of you sending the screenshot back to the group chat but I think that time has passed now.

I’d probably send it to all my friends and we’d have a good gossip about what bitches they are and then I’d just simmer about it forever 🤣

So many of these responses are really rubbish

God, I hope she's a jst troll and isn't off trying to pen a super clever reply based on these posts or photoshopping pictures of the teacher.

I'd send the details to the school and make a complaint. It's bullying and there's no place for it especially from a teacher.