I’ve been sent a message meant for someone else, slagging off my appearance

[CheckYourWhatsAppBeforeYouSend]

NC'd for this as it's very outing. But if anyone recognises the situation then meh.

I changed my FB profile picture today for the first time in about 3 years. It was a normal selfie of just me (I don't like having my kids in my profile pictures). I only did it because I'd coloured and styled my hair and tried my new make up, as something to do more than anything! and thought it looked quite nice (as opposed to rocking my usual Worzel Gummidge look) so thought it's time for an update on social media. I didn't use any filters or photoshopping (don't know how anyway). I got a few compliments on my comments which was nice!

Anyway, I'm part of a WhatsApp group for mums in my 8yo DD's class. There's a few mums who are best friends. One of these mums - obviously meant for maybe their own little WhatsApp group, or one of the other mothers - sent a screenshot of my profile picture with the caption "Funny how she doesn't look like this on the school run. The things that Face tune can do for a person 😹😹'.

It was deleted almost straight away but I saw it and got a screenshot of what she sent.

I'm pretty upset and pissed off - which is unlike me but aside from the fact that I DIDN'T use photo editing, this seems to me like they maybe slag me off on a regular basis? I'm not friends with any of the other mums, I say hello etc and make small talk at parties but didn't ever think I'd done anything to warrant being made fun of.

Anyway to not drip feed - the one who sent it is a teacher in the DC's school. I don't know who exactly she was meant to send it to but assuming she just got the wrong mum's group?

Anyway I'm posting to ask for help. Should I

1. Ignore it, pretend I never saw it - I will be totally honest I have in the past sent screen shots to a friend of ridiculous things people we dislike have said. Never other school mums though, I'm far too indifferent to them.
2. Come back with a witty and cutting reply.
3. Confront the mum (and teacher) who said it - to clarify she's taught both my DD and DS in the past, and is a good teacher.
4. Something else
5. Get over it, these things happen it's just it happened to me this time.

Feeling pretty shit

I'd reply with, maybe I don't feel the need to dress up on the school run as there's nobody there I'd wish to impress...

I hate gossip nastiness like that, there's no purpose in it but to big themselves up and tear everyone else done.. Sad bunch of losers they are

I’d send “I don’t think this was meant for me” and then leave it. You might save someone else this experience.

Def do speak to the HT, it really isnt on and she is not professional. There are lots of cases of emails being forwarded with personal comments etc and the staff are all given a warning and training.
Like others if it were just a mum, that would be different, but she has a professional interest in the school and should be more careful how she conducts herself

@Hidinge

'I'll take that as a compliment, thanks. #nofilter'

Id also say this but with the added hashtags #antibullyingweek #bekind

I’d send the screenshot to the head and ask them to keep me anonymous, and not reply on the group at all. Then when she gets pulled up on it, she won’t know which of the group members reported it, and will sweat for even longer worrying if it was you 😈

She must be really desperate if she has to resort to bullying to make friends with the other mums. What a loser. I'd report her

I would send the screenshot to the Head. It’s disgustingly unprofessional. I wouldn’t engage with the person herself, just blank her from now on.

@WhatFreshStartIsThis

100% this

^^Today 17:39 CovoidOfAllHumanity

Reply 'you're probably wondering if you deleted this quickly enough. You didn't'

Then let her sweat^^

This is THE best

I would ignore it op it's horrible but I would try not to rise to it xcc

@Fozzleyplum

Whilst you could report her to the head, I wouldn't. She'll get a verbal ticking off and you'll be ostracised.

Neither would I send any if the smart/ sassy/ cheeky replies suggested; those wil rrassure her that you're not taking it further. Why should you set her mind at rest?

Your best revenge is to have her absolutely shitting herself, not just this weekend, but until she hopes/ realises that you are not going to take this further. You now have her over a barrel indefinitely, and that, OP, puts you in a position of power.

I would reply with a simple, "I don't think you meant me to see that". Then wait to see if she grovels.

This.

What a hideous person. I’m with pps that say take it to the head. She will absolutely be breaking the school social media policy.

And I like the reply of asking about an anti-bullying week.

She'll get a verbal ticking off and you'll be ostracised

Ostracised? So the fuck what? These duplicitous bastards who would bitch about you behind your back wouldn't be friendly to you? Oh no, what a loss. What a brilliant reason to let the teacher carry on playing mean girls in peace.

Speaking to the head is how to manage this situation with minimal blow back for you and your children.

I really wouldn't make a complaint to the headteacher. I think you will just come out of it looking worse than she is if you do. Just make it clear that you have seen it and leave it at that. Don't be embarrassed about letting her know if it upset you - it's her shame, not yours. Pretending you're OK about it lets her off the hook.

What about

‘No photo editing, a little pampering can work wonders. You should try it! LOL’

This isn’t a school matter, this is just a nasty bitch who needs calling out matter

Jesus, and this is how women are trained by other women to be amenable cowards and doormats.

She’s a teacher and has crossed the boundary here. I’d expect her to be shitting her pants about being spoken to. I would definitely speak to the head. Absolutely unacceptable.

She’s going to kicking herself and absolutely horrified. If she’s a good teacher that’s made a mistake, you could acknowledge it but I wouldn’t take it further. We all make mistakes but I wouldn’t want someone to loose their job over this.

I think I’d send a veiled threat to her and let her shit herself over the weekend. Something like “after reading your ‘deleted’ message that I’ve screen shot, where should I go from here?”

WhatsApp groups are the work of the devil. I really had to think about this one. I would find it difficult to say nothing. The ‘was this meant for me’ is a good response, and probably enough. And then don’t engage with any further chat.
However outside of your personal feelings, it’s really totally unacceptable that a teacher is gossiping, and gossiping nastily about other parents and that needs a word with the head. That’s pretty appalling.

@MzHz

This isn’t a school matter, this is just a nasty bitch who needs calling out matter

Of course its a school matter. The perpetrator is a teacher at the school who has bitched to other parents about the OP. Why do you think its not a matter for the HT.

So what will you do OP? 😉

Where's the OP?

Depending on your Schools setup take this to the head or preferably a governor. Our school has ‘parent governor’ who are meant to be approachable for parents. It is totally unacceptable for a member of staff to behave this way. They should be setting the example.