Why am I obese?

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Obviously, I eat more calories than I burn off. My BMI is 32. But why, what can I change?

I've done the calorie counting thing and reached a healthy weight many times before. It never sticks, and I want to make permanent lifestyle changes this time. I don't care if it takes years to reach a healthy weight, but I'd prefer if it didn't take decades.

I'm not looking to do anything that I wouldn't want the whole family doing. So no cutting out entire food groups, or fasting etc. I don't want to teach my kids those habits.

I live somewhere with little to no 'temptations' from shops and takeaways. I get my shopping delivered, pay for petrol at the pump and rarely go past any other shops. So I'm not sure it is the food environment. My weekly shopping list is all fruit, vegetables, dairy, bread, fish. A little jam, peanut butter and chocolate. Reasonably healthy I think.

I get some exercise, not a lot. I'm a stay at home parent, so rarely actually sit down between 5am and 9pm. I go for walks, at small person pace. I clean and garden. I do mum and baby pilates, and go for short runs at the weekend. I don't know where I would squeeze more exercise in really.

95% of what we eat is cooked from scratch, using whole foods. We don't have desserts often. I never drink alcohol, juice, squash. Just water and tea (no milk or sugar), maybe a coke with a meal out.

I only eat at the table, although days are hectic, so it is not always 3 meals a day. Sometimes there just isn't time for me to eat at mealtime if the kids are having a bad day. I've bought the "right" sized plates etc, to make sure I'm not having huge portions.

I guess I just eat too much. Probably too many rounds of toast and jam when I need a pick me up.

I do usually have a substantial snack when the kids are in bed. But I'm still breastfeeding my toddler through the night. I can get to sleep the first few times, but without that extra food I find I am too hungry to fall back asleep after the 3am feed.

Sorry, that's a bit long. Just musing really. Any constructive thoughts appreciated.

We eat vegan wholefoods and run a 5km most evenings (dd, age 9 included) and we are skinny. I do eat pizza and takeaway once a week though. The key is burning and eating plant-based.

Bupa has a guide to healthy portion sizes online that I use. I weigh pasta and rice or else I cook and eat too much.

Similar position here OP. I am calorie counting, but I'm on 1900 a day. I'm happy for it take me a long time. Like you I dont want to set bad foid examples to my small children.

Low carb isn’t some sort of magic hurley but it does make it MUCH easier and more enjoyable to eat fewer calories. Today i’ve had three coffees with double cream, a couple of snack size cheeses, and a cheese and ham omelette (fried in butter and garlic oil) and a big portion of tenderstem broccoli tossed in mayo and more garlic oil. Bloody delicious and super filling! And about 1600 calories overall. I’m a similar BMI and have lost a stone in two months this doing this. I’m finding it very easy to integrate into family meals and easy to stick to.

**hurley?? BULLET

It is tough though and it sounds like you eat a mostly pretty healthy whole food diet. I was guilty of snacking, picking at things, etc and the app showed it all really added up

Your post resonates with me op. When I was pregnant I had gestational diabetes and had to follow a low gi diet. I think this actually suits me better and I should try to stick to it. It isn't no carb but carbs are very limited. So you can ear normally but your plate will be mostly veg/salad and only a small amount of protein and low GI carbs. And smaller portions with a nut snack between meals.

Please forgive me for not reading the whole thread so if this has already been suggested, I apologise.

Can you try to extend the time that your body has without food? Because you’re having that snack late at night and then breakfast, there is never a large gap of no food.

Can you cut out the late night toast (brush your teeth when the dcs go to bed. You are far less likely to eat anything if you have clean teeth/mouth)?
And/or ditch breakfast occasionally.
Fill up on tea/water instead.

Good luck.

"Probably too many rounds of toast and jam when I need a pick me up."

Sorry to be the person that picks up on one statement, but in a later post you show your daily meal plan as "toast and Jam" most of use would assume this is 2 slices of toast but if it's not there is an indication to the problem. I think you need to be really honest with what you are eating.

Peanut butter can be very high calories. Bread and jam also add to your calories. Look at your portion sizes. Also look at your cooking methods. A large splash of cooking oil can add significant unseen calories. Are you using lean cuts of meat?

Homemade bread tends to be denser than the shop bought stuff (because the manufacturers want you to pay for air rather than ingredients). This makes it nicer but also more calorific, unfortunately. You also inevitably cut thicker slices.

You need to eat 1500 cals per day for 6 months. Then you'll lose weight.

Thing about sugary white carbs is that they lead to cravings for more.
Once you’ve cut them for a week you really don’t get cravings for things anymore.

Also you can eat very healthily on much less calories than you think.No one is allowed to say this in case it’s triggering anorexia or concerns about rates of metabolism or whatever else has been drummed into people. However the rate of obesity just goes up and up.

Honestly just follow the 800kcal diet for two weeks. Just as a reset. You’ll lose half a stone from your middle straight away. Then decide if you want to go back to sugar and toast.

Why do you want to lose weight? Is it a big deal to be bigger? It’s not a bad thing and you’ve other priorities at the moment! Raising babies in a pandemic is already hard so adding the need to reduce calories seems a bit harsh to me. I would look at it that all the food you eat must nourish you. If that’s jam then so be it! Also eating late at night really doesn’t suit some people. I’d drop the snack but have more dinner personally.

i'm trying to loose weight at the mo.
I'm on the very beginning.
Lost just about 2lb in 10days, i know its not a lot but in the past the quicker i lost weight the quicker i put it on.

i reduced my portion size, then reduced a bit of carbs (used to have 2 toasts for breakfast now 1, and wholegrain bread too) and increased my walks.Aiming for 10000 steps per day.
Doing some squats throughout the day.
I know its not much, but I feel a bit better, my fitness level is better I am more flexible and less back aches in the morning,

hope that helps

I’ve cut down bread, potatoes, pasta and rice for the whole family as it makes me put on weight. It’s not a bad thing as we fill the plate with veg or protein instead.

I wish I hadn’t been brought up with staples of refined carbs as it becomes comfort food and easy teas, so I don’t think I’m setting a bad example.

I also tell my kids that they shouldn’t have more than 2 pieces of toast a day.

Ok, so I have never been overweight (5'6 and about 8 - 8.5 stone) and I have never been on a diet. I have been like this all my life, except when pregnant!

I am very active, not in a sporty way, but we have dogs and horses and lots of other animals and quite a bit of land and a garden to tend to. There's so much physical stuff to do and anyway I find it difficult to sit still for long! Even when working, I often stand and we don't have a television, so don't spend the evenings on the sofa.

Food is generally:

Cup of black tea first thing and some oranges while I'm out walking the dogs and dealing with the horses.

Two poached eggs on toast and fruit juice (around 10.30 as I can't eat first thing and am too busy dealing with the animals).

Lunch - cooked - something vegetarian with extra fresh veg and no pudding.

Mid afternoon, a couple of slices of toast with Marmite and some fruit and cheese.

Evening a bowl of rice with soya sauce and usually some crisps (I love crisps!) and a banana with yoghurt and honey.

I very rarely eat anything sweet and don't have big portion sizes. We have very, very old plates which are considerably smaller than modern ones!

I sometimes have a glass of wine in the evening, but really love tea and drink that throughout the day and have water with my meals.

I think cutting down on your sugar intake might help. Also, it is now thought that dieting upsets your metabolism and it takes a long time to reset itself, so maybe really concentrating on upping your physical activity would be a better way around the problem.

You are eating four meals a day. A snack is a yogurt or a handful of nuts or a couple of dried apricots. If you cut out your snack of mushrooms and tomatoes on toast and the other toast later, and just had an apple plus the breakfast lunch and dinner, you'd be well on your way.

There are lots of studies indicating that once you have been overweight and then dieted back to a healthier weight, it is much harder to maintain that weight than it would have been had you never gained in the first place. Some suggest actual changes in muscle tissue that mean the same amount of exercise burns fewer calories, and also hormonal/neurological changes that leave you feeling hungrier and less satisfied, even though you actually need less food to maintain your weight. I don’t know how accurate these are, but investigations into people who have kept weight off over a long time show that they are fairly obsessive about controlling and counting intake and exercising intensively. Maybe that is just what it takes, whereas if they had never been overweight to begin with it would be much easier.

I must admit I hope none of that is true!

Are you stable or gaining at the moment? If you are stable then you must be consuming only what it takes to maintain your weight and may not need to cut down as much to start losing. If you have calorie counted before you will know that you have to weigh everything to be accurate, and if you do that you will find out where your calories are coming from. It might then be possible to cut down a little bit without having to weight and measure, just enough to result in a very gradual loss.

The really good new is that you aren’t a big snacker and it doesn’t sound like you have a terrible sweet tooth so making the long term changes should be doable. If you can build in an exercise that builds muscle that will help as you will burn more calories just being that way.

I completely understand not wanting to go on another strict diet when you have done it so many times before, and succeeded, only to gain it all back. Done it too many times myself. Doing it really slowly might help.

I am low carbing and I will cook something like cauliflower as my side dish, and say to my dd - I’m doing cauliflower, snd I know you’re not keen, so I’ve made you some rice/potatoes/pasta instead.

We’re both happy and she doesn’t see me doing some big diet thing.

The short answer is you eat too much. It is also the longer answer, but can be couched in nicer terms. You say (you) " usually have a substantial snack when the kids are in bed.... without that extra food I find I am too hungry to fall back asleep".
And this is your problem. You feel hungry and so you eat. Why? You know you are overweight, you know you do not need the calories, but you give in much too easily. If you want to lose weight, than you need to accept that you will be feeling hungry for a substantial part of the day, until your body gets used to your reduced calorific intake. Even then, if you get to a normal weight, feeling hungry is a natural and normal feeling. Get used to feeling hungry or get used to being fat. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but it is the truth.

Homemade bread, toast butter and jam rounds are adding masses of calories here.

If you have reached a healthy weight many times before, its clear the problem isn't losing weight its keeping it off. More precisely not putting it back on. If you can address this it would be better than worrying about the other things.

You need to look at your meals and figure out what you are willing to drop. For me I struggled to drop the evening snacking (boredom and a husband who doesn't gain weight ever and he is a big cheese eater) it was torture to me to eat carrot stick while he is having cheese and crackers. So I don't eat until lunch now and I make sure it has no carbs. I am still having 3 meals a day one light and healthy, one family meal and one naughty largish snack in the evening. I'm fairly active 10k steps at day at pace and occasional pilates at the weekend. Something has to give and you just have to choose what.

Sorry if this has already been mentioned, but did you listen to Woman's Hour today? It included a feature on obesity and drugs that can help regulate the hormonal/lipid/insulin reactions of those who have a predisposition to gain weight. It's not a speedy 'diet pill' and I don't even know if it is available on the NHS yet. But the item is worth a listen. And it scotches the 'just eat less, move more' myths that lay the whole blame of obesity at the individual's door.

That's not to say that exercise and good eating habits aren't to be pursued, but alone they may not enable you to keep weight off.